MOM, this measly piece of radicchio is UNACCEPTABLE! Bring me a bigger piece this instant!
Who gave the weather permission to rain today?!
No noms on my plate, no water in my water dish, and no assistance righting my hidey hut?!? SHELLO???
EXCUSE ME, where are my radicchio and dandelions?!
Where did all the frilly kale go?! It looked way bigger than it tasted!
Where is my reward for dragging my hidey hut all the way over to my food plate?! These aren't even one CHOMP's worth of noms! And there's no water in my water dish to GRUMP at! Wake me up after you fix this, Mom!
EXCUSE ME, I dragged myself out of bed (on a Monday morning, no less!), and you haven't even turned on my light yet, much less served my breakfast?!
EXCUSE ME, how many hidey huts do I have to flip over for you to bring me more acceptable noms than the ones on my plate?!
Today, Mom left me home alone for almost 9 hours with only Granddad, who didn’t give me any noms at all!? How could you do this to me, Mom?!
(Mom says for the record, I hadn’t finished my breakfast yet when she left and she gave me new noms when she got back. Still UNACCEPTABLE, Mom!)
What?! You’re out of dandelions and clover for me already, Mom?! And you’re not giving me any extra treats anymore because based on what’s left in the fridge, Granddad actually gave me a lot of noms while you were gone?! MOM!!!
Mom, have you gotten the message yet that these noms are UNACCEPTABLE?
Before and after breakfast is served: WHERE ARE MY NOMS . . . to . . . THESE ARE NOT THE NOMS I ASKED FOR.
You agreed yesterday that I am the cutest shell you’ve ever seen. So why is there no radicchio on my plate?!
It’s Halloween weekend! Where are my radicchio treats?!
A brief pause in our Aivituvin Tortoise House Review for an important announcement: My breakfast today was UNACCEPTABLE, so I uprooted my plastic plants in protest!
Interrupting my eighth birthday party photos for an Important News Alert: I did not get birthday cake for breakfast today!? What is this travesty?!
Today, I refused to nom any of the greens Mom gave me, so Grandmom gave me an entire plate of radicchio! I CHOMPed that immediately!
For some reason, Mom was not pleased.