Sometimes I start drawing and just can't stop, just like it was hard to stop reading these books when I was a teenager

points at my mutuals who have played ffxiv and have not read wheel of time. haha. these people dont even know that they would die for mat cauthon. haha. these people dont even know that they would kill for nynaeve al'meara.

@unionizedwizard i am ten miles behind even the mid-class students of Matrimology, but i'll take a shot.

Mat Cauthon is what happens when you grab a prank-loving young man with a roguish smile and a heart of gold, one of the most overused character archetypes in fantasy, and go at him with tweezers and an x-acto knife until you've separated and catalogued every element of him. When you're done with that, you stitch him back together, give him the sharpest double-edged sword of a superpower you can think of, and run him through a gauntlet of shit so nasty you want to puke.

What you get is the most ridiculous man alive. Mat Cauthon is a species all his own in the fantasy world; there are countless roguish young men weighed down by the burden of responsibility, but none wear the mantle with the consummate homoerotic bitchiness Mat Cauthon manages. He's like nothing at all because he represents a simultaneous inversion and straight-playing of about fifty different common character traits, and the conflict makes him deliciously insane.

huh! well now i'm intrigued

Well dang

It's national poetry month, isn't it?

How could I not?

Officially I did settle on a title, but I don't like it enough to share, so here is the POV poem I did for Mat that I didn't plan on sharing in the first place. Reminder that it's just book one Mat, and to avoid quibbles my interpretation of book one Mat at that. I encourage you to think of "I'm no bloody hero" Mat anyway in the hopes that someone out there might write the essay I'm not currently equipped for

My personal evaluation is that as a poem it is subpar, but it checks a lot of satisfaction boxes anyway so I'm fairly happy with it.

Ah yes, Mat Cauthon, the- *checks Reddit comments* the neckbeard!?!?

The post this was under slapped tho I love making the missing I joke

My response LMAOO

men invented maps they had to spread on tables so they could watch each other bend over hands flat arms outstretched

Comm of Matrim Cauthon from The Wheel of Time!

You know what, fuck this *takes away all of Mat’s memories*

No you know what, fuck that *puts some different ones back in*

Mat: I'm not a hero. I'm just gonna think about my own survival!

Also Mat: *risks his life thinking its bc of the letter Egwene, Nynaeve and Elayne told him to give to the Queen, and refuses to get rid of it bc he promised to his friends he would, damn it!*

Mat: Only a fool do something for those who can't pay him

Also Mat: *gives gold and silver to a single mother to give her children food*

Mat: Stop looking at me like that!

Mat, just healed from fatal darkness so evil not even the enemies they're fighting since day one dare to get close to it, weak and tired, on his first day out of his bed: I need money, so I will... of course! Dare with two princes and duel with them with a bat against two swords!

I love him your honor.

Also. He won.