ORGANS!

This is the most painfully accurate thing I’ve seen all day.

a good sumerian inexplicably donated five packs of 500 temporary tattoos to the classroom, each pack featuring identical pictures of a different invasive species of bug

i meant samaritan you jackasses i was typing with one hand bc i was putting on one of the temporary tattoos and it got autocorrected

i don't care if monday's bleak

tuesday matches wednesday's freak

thursday mispronouncing steak

it's friday, i'm in love

Azhdar

ohhh fuck off. someone learned my summoning ritual again. ill be right back

y’all havin a good september?

i'd rather see 1000 graffiti penises than 1 product billboard. i'd live in dick city if it meant i could avoid advertisements in my daily life.

your cum does not impress me dr watson

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

like 99% of "men and women are soooo different!!!" comedy is literally just describing the experience of not understanding other people. like it's not that women never say what they mean talking to other people is just like that. it can be hard to understand what other people are thinking. bioessentialism really rots the brain

"women will say I'm fine and then not mean it" yeah that's something literally everybody does. is this your first time interacting with another human being my guy

this is one of the only funny responses on this hell of a post

Before the invention of paper and scissors

tumblr users will see the word shrimp and black out and hit reblog without reading the rest of the post

this post is like being handed demonic visions of what hyper latex porn looks like in the cars universe