Dear Mr Schmidt

I really think you need to brush up on your mythology here. Do you even know what a hydra looks like?

This is a hydra. Its defining features are its one tail and many, many heads.

So what the fuck is this supposed to be?

That, Mr Schmidt, is a fucking octopus. Its defining features are its ONE head and many LEGS.

You literally could not have gotten this more wrong.

Hail octopus