Ramblings from Apalapachia...

Okay but here’s a meme i made about Spock misinterpreting the Emotional Compromise regulations

can u believe we all fucking love THIS ^^^ show

“Damn it Jim, he nearly sliced your tits off!”

“I know, Bones, and is it weird that I found it kind of hot?”

is.

is this real?

The screenshot is, the caption is not. In the actual episode it was more like “hey our closest friend is gonna die if he doesn’t fuck and since he can’t do that why don’t you slip me a shit ton of morphine so he can strangle me to death which is the next best thing”

His titties got cut in an extremely horny death battle with said friend on a planet of grumpy elves who have elaborate rituals for everything including fucking (especially fucking).

another satisfied customer

I have questions… Why couldn’t that friend (Spock?) fuck? And why is strangling someone to death the next best thing???

Because Spock was trapped in a shitty arranged marriage to some lady who didn’t want to marry him either so she invoked the ancient rite of death battles and made him fight Kirk and it was the Sixties so they wouldn’t let him actually fuck Kirk onscreen so strangling was the next best thing no kink shaming

I still can’t believe that it’s canon that Spock had to fuck or die, rolled around with Kirk, and then no longer had the issue because he’d basically fucked Kirk. This is canon. It’s literally Star Trek canon that rolling around in the dirt with Jim Kirk was as satisfying for Spock as fucking would have been.

i want a jaynestown kinda thing w/ star trek where they land on a planet and yeah they’re pre-warp and pretty primitive but yeah fuck the prime directive because there’s like a plague there and bones isn’t going to let all those people die so he kinda sneaks the medicine and stuff to them and they leave and kirk is like “ok there’s pretty much no way we’re gonna get away with this so we were never here”

and then like ten years later they’re sent to check on a planet and whoops it’s the same planet that bones helped so kirk is like ok we go in, write a report and stuff, and get out and hope nobody notices us. and they beam down and there’s a giant goddamned temple dedicated to mccoy. paintings and sculptures and shit and it’s kinda crude but still clearly recognizable and they’re standing there in shock staring at this giant fuckin statue of mccoy like holy shit we are in so much trouble and spock just goes “this must be what going mad feels like.”

#jim is really jealous #spock can not even being to PROCESS how many goddamned rules they broke #sulu is just like we gotta go to the planet where I’M a god

“I think they really captured his essence.”

“He looks angry.”

“Yeah that’s kinda what I mean.”

- conversation between chekov and sulu

Then the God of Healing stretched out his hand and said:

“Forsooth!  For all the time I have spent on thee, if thou diest now, I shall venture into Hell and drag thee back into life by thy collar.”