I wrote a meditation guide book 🪞 13 meditation scripts & journal prompts. $7 & downloadable here

Thinking #5 -

For the longest time I keep having these realizations that I want to change and become a simpler, better person. Not simpler in the mind, but in my actions and possessions. Recently these realizations have been coming up way more frequently than they had in the past. So why am I hardly doing anything about it? I need to stop saying I'm going to do something and not do it, like change my ways. I try my hardest not to judge, but I don't want to have to try at all not to judge. Or get rid of the things I don't need. I always always buy more things I don't need, then go through everything and start to get rid of it. I am about to go off to college, I can't have random things anymore and I don't want to. I want to have less to worry about and more to focus on my mind and my soul and not my items sitting in my closet or desk. 

Eat, Pray, Love was something that pushed this movement of mine. Not the movie, the book. I fell asleep watching the movie haha but in all seriousness, Elizabeth Gilbert is my hero. (I hear she doesn't do anything that she did in the book now, but I will just forget about that comment!) She must have had money, which is something a lot of us do not have, because she traveled to three different countries for 4 months at each place. But the presence of where she is isn't what inspires me. Its the way she turned her life around, got ahold of her mind and controlled it and settled it and that is all I want to do. But I don't want to think about it. I just want to do it. I can't keeping saying I'm going to start meditating and not do it. I can't keep saying that I will not judge and not judge. I can't keep saying I will get rid of my items and not do it. I can't keep saying that I'm going to ease my mind and not attempt it. 

I want this to be a journey I take alone but a journey everyone will accept. I want to be peaceful and happy and nonjudgemental and everything good. I want my soul to be pure and free. 

And that's my thought for tonight.

Thinking #3 -

Tonight was my first yoga class since winter. I don't know why I stopped going in the first place. This class was at the Holden Arboretum. There were only 6 people in the class and the teacher. We all walked over to a pond full of frogs making noises and a willow tree was on the edge of the water. The sky was bright blue, not a cloud in sight. And the sun would be setting in two hours. We all laid out our mats and started.  I have never meditated in my life and today was the first time. It was literally magical, and I really mean that. When I first was walking to the grass my body was so tense. My muscles hurt and I could feel how tight my neck was. My anxiety was kicking in and I felt like the air was suffocating me a bit, which it shouldn't feel that way when you're outside in a beautiful place with not a worry around, but that's what happens sometimes. I sat down, crossed my legs, sat up straight, put my hands on my knees palms up, and closed my eyes. Slowly my mind faded and I felt like I was no longer a body and just a soul. The instructor's voice was smooth and soothing and it filled my head then disappeared after a few minutes when all I heard were the frogs and all I felt were the mosquitos crawling on my skin and the air flowing around me and the ground beneath my body. I felt like I was one with the ground, with the world. Every part of my body relaxed as much as it could. I don't know how long it lasted, but it was like a high without the weed. It was better than that. I don't even know how to explain the feeling of meditation but I need to do that every morning for the rest of my life and I will be the happiest, most calm person.

ps. the sound of everyone chanting "Om" is beautiful.