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Selective Mutism In Our Own Words by Carl Sutton and Cheryl Forrester of iSpeak
Buy the book here
Chapter 11: Selective Mutism and Asperger’s Syndrome (Lorraine’s Story) and Appendix B: Reasons Why I Dislike School written by me
Chapter 10: Those Who Spoke For Me and Chapter 13: Parents’ Experiences of Selective Mutism (Alberta’s Story) written by my mom
I’m not doing very well right now so I haven’t been paying much attention to this blog. I’m really sorry! I’ll try to get around to answering your questions but at the moment I don’t think I’m in the best state of mind to help so it would probably be best if you directed your questions at one of the other SM blogs instead.
For Awareness Month
What is selective mutism? 2.0
If you have the time please complete this survey on the portrayal of selective mutism in the media.
Hi, i'm Chris from mental health faq, i'm interested in a comment you made about progressive mutism. I am aware complete mutism exists, but I did my reaserch and I don't believe that selective mutism if left untreated evolves into progressive mutism. But then again, there might be exceptions. You are more experienced in mutism than me, I would really like to hear your thoughts about this.
Progressive mutism is mentioned briefly in the selective mutism Wikipedia article as a severe form of SM where the disorder progresses overtime until the person is unable to speak to anyone at all (if the person is unable to speak to anyone right from the beginning despite never having SM then that maybe traumatic mutism instead) though no sources are given.
It’s probably not uncommon for a person’s anxiety around speaking to worsen overtime if nothing is done about it although I’m not sure how likely it is for this to develop into progressive mutism. I can only give you personal experiences unfortunately due to the lack of research on SM but I have come across a few people with SM who have stopped speaking to everyone completely as they’d gotten older and have even stopped making any kind of sound at all such as yawning or coughing.
There is a case mentioned in this video of a girl who eventually stopped talking to her own family.
why does everyone always say sm is a fear of speaking? when i dont speak it's because i just physically can't, not bc i'm too scared. is it different for other sufferers? idk
It is currently accepted by most professionals that SM is brought on by anxiety in some shape or form. Though not a lot is known about SM at the moment so as more research is done on the condition it may be proven that there are other causes for it as well.
Hi there, my parents informed me that when I was younger like childhood years like the normal age kids start to talk, I wasn't talking. They told me I was mute but luckily they took me to therapy and it got fixed. Sometimes when things get stressful, I do see that my talking ranges down to minimum and I don't know if it's from that. I don't remember much of the times I was mute, but I do remember that with my childhood and now has come with a lot of social phobia. I'm afraid with all that cont.
(2) with all that is going on in high school and how even the first day of junior has been stressful, I could revert back to being selectively mute. I tend to notice that sometimes in deep stress and anxiety I slowly minimize the talking. I don’t know if this is anything close to SM, but I’m worried that this school year can cause me such troubles. I don’t know what to do ?
It is quite common for ex-SM sufferers to retain some symptoms of their SM even years after their recovery however with SM it is best to do something about it as early as possible so if you’re concerned that you may be reverting back into SM then you should probably tell someone like your parents or a professional. You may want to let the school know too if you’re worried that it may cause you difficulties in the coming year.
When I was a child I was diagnosed with SM. I went to the therapy and I recovered from it (kind of). But now I am very anxious and sometimes I don't want to talk.
It is quite common for people who overcome SM to still have problems with anxiety and even revert back to being mute in times of significant stress. It can be a very difficult thing to deal with but you’ve still done well. Thanks for sharing!
Hi sorry to bother you but I was wondering if this sounds like SM to you?I'm totally fine talking to a wide range of friends and even people my own age that I've just met but as soon as it's someone older in a position of power (professor, therapist, ANY kind of professional) I can't even say yes or no and its impossible to explain whats wrong with me because I cant work it out in my head and my brain gets all jumbled and I'm paralyzed that I'll be judged if I speak even though I know I won't be
It’s no bother. SM is simply being unable to speak in situations that cause you anxiety and you seem to have a great deal of anxiety around speaking to people in a position of power so yes, I’d say it’s very likely. Also the fact that your thoughts get jumbled in your head and you become paralyzed all could be signs of SM.
What's the difference between SM and just plain shyness? Sometimes I can't tell if I have SM or if I'm just really, really shy, but when I was a kid, I had trouble speaking to anyone who wasn't my sister or I didn't know comfortably (and even then, whenever I was together with my sister, I had her do most or all of the talking while I just stood by). Even I had trouble asking to borrow a phone or for help whenever I needed it.
It can be difficult to tell. It does sound to me that you are more on the anxiety side of things rather than just being shy though.
i don't mean to be a stick in the mud but selective mutism isn't exclusively an anxiety disorder
Can you explain your reasoning for that? I’m not arguing with you, just want to know what you mean.
I hope i won't say something stupid, but i'm autistic and i got sometimes struggle to talk and i don't know if it's the same thing that SM? Sometimes i got the whole conversation in my head but nothing come out of my mouth and i don't know why. But most of the time people told me i don't speak and i can't understand what they want me to say (or i can't understand when i'm supposed to speak so i don't). I read that SM is "the fear to talk" but i don't know if it's really fear in my case?
SM can manifest itself differently in those with autism. I also have autism and for me a lot of the time similarly to what you described, it’s simply that I don’t understand “how” to communicate, like I don’t know when I’m supposed to speak or what I’m supposed to say (although for me the anxiety is there as well) so yes, that could very well still be SM.
do you have any resources with info on traumatic mutism?
Traumatic mutism isn’t really recognized by professionals anymore so unfortunately there’s even less information on it than SM. It’s been mentioned briefly in some SM books I’ve read but that’s it really.
I was wonder if this would be SM. I'm able to talk well at school or with friends, but when it comes to family I am totally mute. I do have some exceptions, but most of my family I have talked to in years. I would like to, but it's as if I can't. It's been a horrible thing, and I wish simply talk to them. Do you have any tips?
Yes, it is less common but I have heard of some almost “reverse” cases of SM where the person will go mute at home/around family members despite talking outside the home. That must be really difficult for you.
You can try setting yourself goals, like trying to say at least one thing to someone from your family every so often and keep building it up until you start to feel more comfortable speaking to them. Also you should probably find a way of telling your family about your SM if they don’t already know, just so they understand there’s a reason for it.
Just wandering how common is it for children to have SM? I had it from the time I was about 3 years old until about the age of 13. I only spoke to my mother, father, and my peers. It slowly started to fade away as I began speaking to individuals, one by one. I mean there are still certain people that I am a bit nervous for them to hear my voice, but overall it is gone. I'm also really excited that I'm not the only one. I always thought I was a freak, because that's what everyone said about me.
SM is said to affect about 1 in 140 children but this number may differ depending on where you look due to lack of dependable research.
Thank you for sharing your story and well done for overcoming your SM! You’re definitely not a freak.
I just recently found out that I have selective mutism...but my parents don't know. I usually can talk to them, and when I can't, they just think I'm tired. My friends at school have noticed that I'm silent around certain people so they 'protect me' so to say...but I'm going into high school and I will need to start carrying a whiteboard...I don't know what to do without telling my parents because they'll treat me like I'm broken. Help?
I’m sorry for taking so long to answer this! I hope I’m not too late.
If you don’t feel able to talk to your parents about your SM then that is absolutely fine, but you probably do need to try and discuss it with somebody who can help you like a doctor or maybe one of your friends’ parents, preferably before you start high school. I know from personal experience that things can really change once you start high school with SM and any kind of extra support you can get will be helpful.
