theroundbartable reblogged
Mental is Hocus, health not pocus
theroundbartable reblogged
HETEROSEXUAL CIS-PEOPLE LOOK HERE
Snaps my fingers at you as you scroll past this post
Look at me. Listen.
I'm not the best at serious posts, but that article up there reminded me of how important it is that people like you stand up for us. So hold on while I try to get this out of my mushy end-of-work-day brain.
We could fight this fight ourselves for decades trying to reach the equal laws, gender affirming trans healthcare that doesn't have a 2-5+ soul-eating years of waiting time, medical care with equal knowledge of lgbtqia+ bodies, and, what is often forgotten, inclusion in the little everyday areas of life like our way of speaking or things being set up or designed with the existence of queer people in mind.
But you joining in could get us there so much faster.
The power you have as a hetero cis person is that you set the standard for what is seen as the average way of treating us among other hetero cis people. You have been given the power of deciding what's "normal" and I'm begging you to use it.
Richard Green is a great example of to what extent your actions can help our situation, and smaller ways of support still add up to a great impact on society, and could make the days of the queer people you interact with.
Educate yourself before you speak up, but don't be silent.
I'm reblogging this also to argue that straight people, yes even cis straight people who've never met anyone queer in their entire lives, belong at pride!
When your humanity is stripped away, your rights ignored and the world against you, it's allies who will pick you up and stand beside you.
And there will be allies who will face the same discrimination for the same reasons that you do, even if it's not true to their person, simply because they still see you and they speak out for you.
There are laws in other countries to have you imprisoned or killed if you 'hide' a gay person's sexuality from the government. There are circles even in your own country where speaking out for queer rights will socially isolate you.
Don't pretend like this kind of discrimination doesn't exist.
Queerphobia affects everyone! It's a structural problem. It enforces stereotypes, it pressures people into gender norms and shares the same bs arguments that exist in racism (it's recycled bs in all categories, really). In my childhood, boys were bullied for liking pink. The argument was homophobic, obviously.
Homophobia affects straight people too. Transphobia affects cis people too. Mysoginy affects men too. And so on and so forth.
Bullying is bullying, whether what you're bullied for is true or not. And everyone who experiences it should be taken seriously. And everyone who will stand by your side to fight for the same thing, should be welcome.
(Except, of course, if there is some weird kind of concert thing going on and people at pride complain about all the queer people. But that's a different story.)
theroundbartable reblogged
things haven't been great but i think they will be. eventually 🌻🌼🩷
It is the people you love and trust the most that have the tools to destroy you the hardest.
This is what I learned when I lost one of my closest friends a couple years ago. I was the one told to leave and I know now that I was the one hurting the most during and after our friendship. I know because it took her half a year to move on (her words). I needed years and I'm still hurting sometimes. And there is a couple things I learned during that time that I hope can help you or... Anyone this reaches.
And yes. People who love you can hurt you too.
It's not whatever twisted version of love she has for you, however, it's your love for them that hurts so much because you believe you have to stop loving in order to heal. And the thing is, you can't.
You can love her from a distance. You can love people and still let them go.
You deserve to be happy, op. You deserve to love people who love you unconditionally. But don't forget that you're allowed to be angry too. You need all the stages of grief on the road to acceptance, don't leave any step out.
And lastly, you might feel guilty or ashamed for something. It could be anything, like "if I hadn't forgotten my homework, she wouldn't have hit me". It's the what ifs, it's the I could have prevented this, that can haunt you for quite a while. Even if it's followed by "I didn't do any wrong", the fact that it keeps repeating in your head is a sign that you don't believe it.
Forgive yourself. For anything you did. Be it fight back, for making a mistake or something irrational like for hurting. You blame yourself, you guilt trip and gaslight yourself. Because thinking YOU did something wrong makes you believe you had control over the situation. You didn't. And you need to accept that and you need to forgive yourself. You did your best, you deserve some mercy.
Good luck, OP. Take good care of yourself.
I once had a friend who was a lesbian. This is only relevant because she kept complaining about how few characters in media were lesbian and why was everyone fine with gay men in media but not showing more lesbians.
When I watched bojack horseman, I told her that my favorite character was Todd Chavez because guess what? Ace rep, hell yeah. He was the first ace character I've ever seen in media, so I was overjoyed.
She also watched the show and then started complaining about why everyone seemed to like Todd because she found him annoying and anyways why do I even like him? Just because he's ace rep?
Yes. Yes that was the main reason.
What I'm trying to tell you with this story? Sometimes people are hypocrites. And it's okay to let go of these people.
You may be like: but this was only one thing. No, it wasn't. She was like this about everything. And I tried so hard to react to her complaints and make it better but it never worked.
I was talking too much about my siblings. I wasn't calling them by their names, thus confusing her. I was too emotional, I was like a roboter, I was too focused in class, then I was too distracted. I was too kind, too angry, too biased, too undecided, too peace seeking, then fighting too much. Too confident and too shy. I was a liar and too honest, she was angry that I didn't show her my music taste and when I showed her, she asked why I was listening to it at all, and in my attempts to redeem all these qualities of mine that were so bothersome, I broke myself, I limited myself and played out all the extremes.
There are people who will make you feel like you can only do wrong. And that is because there is no right path for people who want to control and manipulate you.
I loved her. I loved her so much I questioned my orientation. But I still had to let her go. And it's okay to miss these people, it's okay to be in pain. It's okay to break sometimes, because when the one smashing the pot is done with you, you can finally pick up the pieces.