Take a seat :)

bbc merlin - 02x11 The Witch's Quickening

please, arthur, he's the nosiest guy in all the land, let him do his thing.

We should have had one episode in which Merlin takes the reign over a stealth mission.

Like:

"Arthur, shut up. I've been looking after your oblivious butt for years. Who told you about the troll? About Valiant? Who hid Mordred from you?!?! I know what I'm doing!" *Shoves Arthur out of the way, finds the best places to hide etc.*

Arthur: "Merlin... Why are you so good at hiding?"

Merlin: *lies* "... I was trained to be an assassin in Cendred's kingdom. He told me that for training I should go and hide in the forest. I did. He hasn't found me since."

MERLIN Rewatch: 4x04 AITHUSA

I’m listening for woodworm.

Merlin: would you still love me if I were a worm?

Arthur: do u ever listen to yourself?

Merlin rewatch | 5x07 “A Lesson in Vengeance”

i would watch an entire 6th season of Dragoon just being like this and sassing everyone in the 21th century, while some police officers try to figure out who keeps breaking into the Arthurian legend museum and writing comments on the artifacts. Like: "that's not how you polish armor".

"This looks nothing like Gwen!!!!!"

"Stop complimenting the prat, his head is big enough as it is."

Oh yeah, make it like a police show, where dragoon is just involved in every crime they are trying to solve. Like.... as a suspect. He's completely useless to the police, his alibis never pay up, he is HORRIBLE at lying. But he's never the culprit.

Often times, he wasn't even there. He just.... unworks his own alibis with a real one that is actually a solid one.

And he keeps guessing who the murder is and always ends up right, despite knowing neither the motive nor the evidences .... or even who the victim is.

He becomes a legend, the day some of the officers are trying to solve a cold case from 1964, where Dragoon is being found on one of the pictures. Just as old and annoying as ever. He had been suspected then too, but released, because he couldn't have committed murder, while being caught stealing potatoes from the market. Not even edible ones. When asked what he wanted with rotten potatoes, his ominous answer was: it reminds me of the stocks, and none of the officers could sleep again ever since.