thereluctantinquisitor reblogged
[Open Scene: Varlen in a plush leather chair, puffing on a pipe, cravat tucked handsomely into a burgundy bathrobe] Oh. Mahalen. Come - sit - and let me offer you some advice. One of the most important parts of romance is the Declaration of Love. Here is what you must do. Find a lawyer, draw up a document detailing every intention you have for your partner, and be sure to get it stamped and signed by the correct authority. Your lover will adore it. There is nothing more sensual than bureaucracy.
“This is exactly what Iron Bull tells me, except without the paperwork and pretty much everything else you just mentioned….
Why’re you in my room?”
Varlen: Hush, hush, dear Mahalen. There is more to love than The Iron Bull’s rope and chain philosophy. See, he does not appreciate the finer things in life. Like well-aged cheese. Or contracts.
And I am in your room, Inquisitor, because that is where this luscious bathrobe and chair are located.
Obviously.