He waited longer than he had in the nights of the past,

gathering the courage he would require to ask.

Then he sent out a song to her, threading through the air,

wondering nervously if she would meet him there.

“Come meet me here in the shade.

Let’s steal this moment away.

I know I’ve been far from you,

I promise it’s hard for me too.

But if you’ve the time to spare,

I can bring you with me there.”

He sang until the lonesome hour turned into two

then breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped into view.

Her smile was gold, her eyes shining like stars as she called out,

“Where, my love? What wine have you drunk? What are you about?”

He stepped forward and stroked her hair with a sigh.

The lady spun around, smiling as she met his dark eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I had to ask. I beg of youyr pardon.”

“Don’t,” she said warmly. “I’d been wondering if you had a garden?”

“I do and it’s yours if you’ll take my hand with it.”

She took his hand in hers. “How could I not? Look how they fit.”

The lord smiled at the sight of their fingers intertwined.

“Yes,” he agreed. “I like having your hand nestled in mine.”

The lady smiled, then it fell. “One question before we go;

Will I be able to see my mother when I am below?”

His smile turned downward. He caressed the back of her hand.

“We do not often open the gates that seal the bottomland.

The dead could escape and wrongly return… it’s not often

that there is a reason that the gates let one cross in.”

Persephone nodded, concealeing her tears beneath her lashes.

“I will miss her. Let’s pray the feeling fades or passes.”

So they headed underground, under the cover of lead,

walking hand in hand to the realm of the dead.

The lady couldn’t breathe as the sun sank down past the skyline.

“Rest well, Apollo,” she whispered as the day turned to night.

She lay on her bed. Eyes closed. Ears straining to hear

for the calling of her name from the one she called dear.

Seconds stretched to hours. She yearned to get up and go.

When the stillness became unbearable, a melody wafted through her window.

Persephone sat up and smiled, hearing words with the tune

as outside her love sang from underneath the moon.

“Come meet me here in the shade.

Let’s steal this moment away.”

With his voice to guide her, she ventured out to the wood.

The stars were diamonds, the grass like silk underfoot.

“Hades, my love,” Persephone said, her voice a sigh.

“Yes, my dear?” he replied, stepping into her sight.

She hurried to his side, stopping short out of caution.

With a blush she admitted, “I have thought of you often.”

“And I, you,” the lord said, taking her hand in his own.

He studied the softness of her cheek and the line of her collarbone.

Persephone held her breath, not daring to break the spell.

When his eyes remet hers, she could see that he fell.

“Dance with me,” she said, pulling him into a small clearing.

He held her in his arms, his face betraying his feelings.

They swayed beneath the starry sky, speaking with their eyes.

After dancing for hours, he stole her breath with a kiss at sunrise.

There is no bigger heartache than to

fall in love alone.

Nothing hurts a spirit more than to

keep reaching for the phone

only to second-guess what you’d say

to that unworthy love

and one day realize that they won’t

ever be that worthy of

the love that you bestow to them

oh so dutifully.

One day you’ll wake up and see

you loved them stupidly.

They don’t love you and never will

yet you were so convinced

that they were so deserving of

the love that you dispensed.

You’ll ache and moan and cry tears

until you are run dry.

Years will pass, you’ll still think of them

as the months go by.

But eventually, and with some work,

you will forget their name.

And with the relapsing memory,

you will forget the pain.

So, my dear, I hope that you heed

the words I offer now

and try to break the love you give

even if you’re not sure how.

There is no heartache as bitter as

falling in love alone

but with the choice to try and change

you’ll find a joy you can own.

Trekking out into the darkness under a canopy of trees

was a maiden with a beating heart called Persephone.

Woken from a dream that made her heart beat all too fast,

where a voice called out to her “Come while the night lasts.”

Was it him or a stranger trying to lure her outside?

Persephone longed for someone in whom she could confide.

Her mother never let her far from her grasp

and had told her, “feelings tied to men may not last.”

But Persephone was weary from being all-but alone

so she wandered out beneath the canopy of a starry dome.

Towards the heart of the forest, a melody hit her ears.

In couplets of seven, the melody would follow her for years.

The lady smiled. “Where are you? Show me your face!

Do not leave me alone in this dark and quiet place!”

“I’m sorry,” he replied, stepping out from behind a tree.

“I wanted to take you in before we began to speak.”

The lady smiled, her cheek turning red with delight.

“Hades, you could have given me quite a fright.”

The lord grinned, grabbing her hand. “Forgive me.

But for the past month, you are the one I wanted to see.”

“Why not come calling?” she asked in a breath, his hand cool in hers.

“I only get away when it is dark or things are tragic,” he whispered.

“Although,” he paused, eyes pouring into hers. “I wish to see you more.

Forgive my forwardness, but it’s a thought I wanted to implore.”

She squeezed his hand, pressing their hands to her chest.

“Forwardness has worth. I’d love to honor the request.”

Heaven. I’m still waiting for you to come.

In a place I cannot share. I have no one.

One promise, lives lost to become joined together.

One being, two spirits, trying to stand the weather.

Come in, the water’s fine. Don’t you love its allure?

Baby, why are you hesitating? I’ve been assured.

Slowing heart. I lay down in a bed of grass.

Slight panic, but then the moment passed.

Join me, darling. You’ll be so at peace.

Come with me. It’ll put me at ease.

I’m falling, slipping away into the abyss.

Fall with me and the sensation will be bliss.

Let’s ride in a boat on an underwater river.

Jump on in. The water is good, just gives a shiver.

What’ll it be? Are you coming or not?

Grab hold of me or else I’ll never be caught.

When you're dropped in the middle of the ocean,

you immediately hope you don't drown.

You pray, face turned to the heavens, that you won't go underwater.

You may start out floating and feeling quite alright,

but you wonder if it's just low tide.

You feel confident in your ability to swim,

but what happens when you begin to tire?

Saltwater splashes in your eye but the sting is light.

It'll be worse with your eyes open under the surface.

But if you close your eyes, all you see is darkness

and the water weighs you down.

So if you drown, you try to keep your eyes open

so that you can remember the sunlight that once warmed your skin.

You'll be weary so you'll let your body sink for a moment

before kicking upwards and taking ragged breaths.

The air will sting worse than the salt in your eyes,

but it will make you feel alive.

Not that you want to sink under, you want to stay afloat.

But sometimes the weight of the water in your clothes drags you under.

And you wonder as you are still above

if you'll be strong enough to come back up.

Darkness hung like a curtain in the middle of the wood,

a doorway of shadow that swayed where it stood.

An entrance of night, a door to the world down below;

a pathway few would see, but many would know.

The lady noticed the cold before she could see the door;

it banished the warmth so well it was like it hadn’t been there before.

A shiver went through her as the cold settled in her bone,

separating her from her senses, leaving her feeling frozen and alone.

The lord squeezed her hand. “Close your eyes if you desire.

Perhaps the change will be easier if you don’t see it transpire.”

The lady stared at the doorway and straightened her spine.

“No. I would prefer to see you the entire time.”

He smiled at her courage. “Don’t let go of me. One step after another.”

Then he led her through the shadow, under darkness’s cover.

The darkness clung to her skin, seeping into her lungs.

She choked on its heaviness, wondering what horrors had begun.

Her mind recalled every lie, every disappointment that transpires,

all the pains she’d felt, every unfulfilled desire.

Like waves, they crashed over her. In her lungs, her breath was shallow.

One foot at a time, the lady descended down below.

Then came the light and warmth coating her skin

and the relief of air flooded her lungs again.

The darkness faded; a gradient giving away to light.

A dawn in the world below, not a complete night.

But there wasn’t true daylight, it would never be past dawn.

There were no flowers nor grass in the lawn.

There was nothing but shadows, rocks, dirt,

and a castle in the distance, built of granite and earth.

The landscape held shadows of other realms in the distance

and there was wailing in the air if one chose to listen.

There was singing too, melodies of joy and cheer

and she found the castle welcoming as they neared.

“It’s just a corner of the kingdom,” he said, his voice cracking.

“But I will provide whatever you decide it’s lacking.”

The lady was bright and saw richness in the soil.

Her heart was willing, her hands ready to toil.

No, the work wouldn’t be easy but the seeds could take

and Persephone knew how beautiful a garden she could make.

The lady smiled softly. “No world should be judged in a second.

Love is a choice that requires patience and dedication.”

The work had begun. They were in it together.

But above ground, stormy weather.

The sound of strings wafts through the stillness of the air,

intertwining with the lushness that flourished everywhere.

The scents of wisteria and narcissus are there if you search them out

and though the air is still, the fullness of life surely abounds.

Elysium, beloved. A realm of solitude and peace,

where souls go to rest when they need ease.

There’s celebration each fortnight and laughter each noon.

It reminds one of a lazy afternoon in the grass where flowers bloom.

Full of comfort and cheer for when the departed come

is the realm of the deserving, the realm of Elysium.

Wanna walk with my eyes closed into the unknown

and not fall off the edge of the world.

Want to take down my hair at the end of the day

and find my hair perfectly curled.

But the world doesn’t work like that.

Wanna fly in real life like I do in my dreams

and take off whenever I want.

Wanna believe the cheers I hear when I have

accomplished an impossible stunt.

Want to skate on the ocean and play in the rain.

Want to run a mile and feel no pain.

Want to always feel good, not like today.

But the world doesn’t work like that.

Want to have all the courage a lion could bear.

Want to smile like an idiot. I want to stare.

Want to love the real you as much as the ideal.

Want to tell you all my thoughts and how I feel.

Want to hear you say yes on some fateful day.

But the world doesn’t work that way.

first crush

I remember the first crush of my kindergarten days,

Though the memory’s blurred through a rose-colored gaze.

I knew he liked me back when he started tugging my hair

And the adults told me he was mean because he cared.

I didn’t know any better, so I decided to like him back,

Though if I could go back I’d give little me some flack.

I guess it all worked out because that little boy was sweet

But you shouldn’t fall in love with every bully that you meet.

They’ll call it romantic to disguise the abuse.

Men can be mean but women can’t blow a fuse.

My first little love was the sweetest little man

Who gave kisses on cheeks and squeezed together our hands.

He’d give me the best parts of his home-brought lunch

And bring me pretty leaves that gave a satisfying crunch.

Back in those days, we labeled it as love

For we had no idea what real love was made of.

Now we’d recognize it as a childhood crush

Who we loved because we didn’t know better than to blush.

Not to say it was wrong to crush and not like.

It’s simply odd to think of how much love causes a fight.

My first crush and I “broke up” because we changed interests

And as easy as that, we forgot our easy bliss.

It’s saddening how quickly we grow up and forget our little selves

And that we fell out of love so quickly as well.

But it’s good to know that love was there earlier in our lives.

That love was some sort of current making all things bright.

And sure, life will get harder and love becomes confusing

But neither has to be a game so there’s nothing we are losing.

"Role Model"

from my book "The Way I Felt: A Collection of Poems From My High School Years"

I remember when you used to be my role model,

When the respect I had made my common sense topple.

And I remember how it felt when you disappeared.

I remember when I always sought you first,

Asking silent questions for answers I never heard,

And I forget what it was like with you here.

Now you’re just the mother of a friend.

Not a saint, or a savior, or a godsend.

You didn’t keep it up, ask or care,

And I don’t see you anywhere.

What happened to the overflowing well I knew of?

The one so eager to fill my cup.

Did you run dry or just stop?

I know dependence isn’t something I need to be okay,

But I could use a prop-up just for today.

I guess I’ll never get to the top.

Now you’re forever away and long gone.

I guess you’ll never be honored with this song.

I hope you know I remember your name,

But now my life is more of the same.

To make an impact, you have to pursue.

Don’t give up on me; I need help too.

There’s revival; I wanna be renewed.

But it’s too late to get that from you.

For more, check out my Instagram

"Losses"

I think I’ve been disappointed by everyone I know

So I fall in love with acquaintances, making them my hope.

It’s hard to watch your pinned-up hopes leave for college.

It’s harder to know they might never get the message.

With them, I thought I deserved a scene,

They were graceful and ignored me, I took it as mean.

They meant so much to me. Then they left.

They showed me little emotions and I felt the theft.

for more, check out my Instagram

"Facade"

There is no joy in lifeless things like lifeless tulips in emergency wings.

There are places where nothing grows amidst the trials, toils, and woes.

Yet we paint it yellow so all is bright against the dimming of the light.

To some, the change is liked. It’s a counterbalance to the pale white.

But for others, it’s a facade that smiles at you and gives a prod.

It’s another sign of faux cheer that makes this normalcy seem weird.

There’s nothing real about fake colors just like how some partners are not lovers.

The uncanny valley is a hard line to toe but there's nothing lovely about even tones.

for more poetry, follow my Instagram

"A Pondering"

I often feel I’ve lost some kind of connection.

I fall in love with people, make them my obsession.

But now I wonder if I’d go too far

Just to keep a relationship from falling apart.

I’ve never been in love, just infatuated.

I feel many things strongly, like love and hatred.

If I ever fell into the abyss,

Would I cross a line, would there be something I’d miss?

Could someone love me if they had to calm me down?

Would they bother to save me or just let me drown?

What if my next boyfriend is unstable like me, too?

Could I fix him or just try and be the glue?

I did that last time and we were messed up.

And then we fell apart when he fell in love.

But what if I was on the flipside?

If my love’s too strong, will he try to deny?

Would he keep me safe when my head’s not sound

Or will we too be doomed at the starting round?

For more follow my Instagram

"Can You?"

from my book, "The Way I Felt: A Collection of Poems From MY High School Years" (Check it out here!)

Can you imagine being nailed to a tree?

To blow in the wind like a simple leaf.

Can you imagine making that your fate?

To hang there in agony and patiently wait.

Would you do something like that for me,

Let yourself ache for all to see?

To have a public death for the greater good,

To hear of a better day coming and believe it could.

Can you give up what you scarcely have?

Would you do it for your mom or dad?

Would you feel your life fade away?

Would you even lift your head to say:

“Have patience, have peace.

Care for those, even the least.”

Maybe you can’t imagine it,

But that’s the throne on which my savior sits.

That’s the price He chose to pay

For us to have that better day.

Happy Easter Everyone! (For more, check out my Instagram)

"untitled/unfinished" (03.24.22)

I'm not made for congeniality, that's not my reality. It can't pay my salary.

I'm not built for all these fake niceties. Empty words are just a disease, they don't make interesting CDs.

You could try to be my type but something just isn't right. 'Cause it's not you I like. I'm sorry this is good-bye.

For more follow me on Instagram!