theorigamiphoenix

hmmm…pretty sure one of these is not quite like the others

Most common wildlife attacks by Canadian province

What in the actual fuck is going on in Alberta

this feels like a scene from a nightmare i had when i was like five years old or something

hold on anon she has another question

movies where someone hears an important message only once and retains all the details….

girl if that were me, we’d be fucked. I have to reread emails like 4 times.

if it were me having to repeat my dead father’s instructions on destroying the death star:

I was in a college psych class, and the teacher was doing some kind of exercise about memory, patterns, and retention. He began with, “for instance, if I asked you what number the first letter of your name is in the alphabet, you wouldn’t be able to tell me right aw–” “Ten,” I said. “What?” “J. J is ten,” I said again. He stared at me. “I happened to learn it while looking at the alphabet when I was five or six, and it just stayed in my brain,” I told him. Then we did an exercise on retention. “I’m going to tell you a story,” he said, “and then I’m going to send you out of the room for five minutes, and when you come back, you have to repeat as much of the story back to me as possible.” He told me a long and meandering story with no plot or structure, just a random series of events, place names, actions, etc. Then he sent me out of the room. I looked at the wall for a while. He called me back in five minutes later, stood me up in front of the class, and asked me to repeat “just as much of the story as you remember.” Apparently while I’d been gone he’d been telling the class about how eyewitness accounts aren’t reliable because people don’t remember things well after a certain period of time. So I told his story back to him– not verbatim, but certain phrases were exact– and watched the consternation in his face as I accidentally blew up his (valid! and extensively studied!) lesson about how bad people’s retention is. “It’s like a song,” I tried to explain to him, and the class. “Or a poem. Every part of the story has a little tag to remember it. I looked at the chalkboard while you were saying this part. My leg itched while you were saying that part. A chair squeaked during the next part. Then I just have to come back and go over all the sensations that I had while you were” “Sit down,” he said. I sat. Turns out I’m Autisms Georg adn should not have been counted

ADHD version: A friend asked, on a field trip, why I knew the scientific name for Caltha palustris, “Well, we did that [one week long] field ID course [three years previously] and we saw it in one of the bogs”.

This, I was informed, is very much not a normal reason to remember the scientific name of a plant for the rest of your life.

It took me five whole years to learn when my partner’s birthday is.

I can remember specific details about games I played over two decades ago that I have not played since.

I once forgot it was my birthday. On my birthday. And when my sister (Who lived several hours away) jumped out of hiding and yelled happy birthday, I looked around to see who she was talking to.

I hated having to take a second language in school, and more so I hated the options the school had available; German, Latin, French, and Spanish. (I would later find American Sign Language clicked well) I took Spanish because my older sister did and that meant I’d have help if I needed it. I cheated on most of my tests though as if I needed to remember phrases I would just Draw on the paper something. Often unrelated. I couldn’t read the phrase but I knew the answer associated with it and with key words matched the drawing, and because I doodled all over everything in school including assignments it wasn’t suspicious that I had drawings and doodles in range of my sight.

I don’t remember my left and right naturally, as any time I need it I immediately remember my third grade teacher smacking the chalk board with each hand; “LEFT! RIGHT!” and the sound of the smack because the chalk was in one of his hands so one hand made a ‘tick’ on impact while the other didn’t

I only remember which hand is my left and which is my right because we watched an educational show in first grade and I distinctly remember the man speaking in an accent as he said “which hand makes the letter ‘L’?”

Naturally, sometimes I forget which way the letter L is supposed to be facing.

This is despite the fact that my last name begins with the letter L.

This is despite the

fact that my last name begins

with the letter L.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I once had to order some stuff for my lab and went to put my name on the form and wrote “Derin Edala”. Simple slip, understandable, I spend a lot of time online; I erased it and went to write my –

I couldn’t remember my government name.

To complete the form I just wrote the names of everyone who worked in my laboratory until I got to the one that I recognised as mine.

i got really upset once trying to sign up for something at a country fair because i was so overstimulated i kept putting in my social security number instead of my phone number and it was the wrong amount of digits. i had had that phone number for a decade and only memorized my social the last winter.

true emotion of venus finally identified 

Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man

holy shit somebody on reddit linked to the web page of a designer for disco elysium and i’m Reeling with the pale lore here

*looking for a midnight snack* *gets flashbanged*

This is literally the plot of a Garfield comic strip

i read the cutest reddit thread today where this 19 yo boy was “babysitting” his 15 yo little sister while his parents were away on vacation and she got this horrific period and needed to be taken to the ER.

and this sweet 19 yo boy was doing all he could to take care of her, giving her meds and water and then packing stuff up to go to the hospital once reddit was like “yeah if she’s soaking two tampons in an hour you should go” - but being only a little older than a child himself, he didn’t know what to pack, so he brought like three things, and one of them was SUNSCREEN.

lmao everyone on reddit was like “you’re a really good brother but sunscreen?? for the hospital??” lmao they are roasting him. also op’s sister changed his name in her phone to “spf” and their dad calls him “bananaboat” now. this guy is never living this down

(also his sister is ok and it turns out their family has some kind of genetic blood disorder)

link to the thread on r/BestofRedditorUpdates

the brother kind of reminds me of that post that’s been going around abt that abandoned five-week-old kitten that was taking care of a few two-week-old kittens that were somehow with him and he was just trying his best but he was so small

Yeah that tracks

link to pdf 

While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.

Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of Clickhole, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.