I think one of the things that makes OFMD feel freshest is how it balances being a romantic comedy and being queer - specifically, a romantic comedy about queer men (& Jim). Queer men are not unknown in the romantic comedy genre! But what makes the show stand out is how exceptionally careful it is to ensure that the fact of their romances, and of their queerness, is never the source of the comedy. It’s never meant to be funny that someone is queer, or that someone is in love. Coming out, even in the most casual and incidental way, is never used as a punchline.
And yet, it’s also not a utopia where stereotypes about queer people and homophobia (the things that ultimately fuel those kinds of jokes) don’t exist - they do! But every time somebody tries to make them funny, it falls completely flat. It steps outside the acceptable bounds of the genre and the characters react to it in that way. Homophobia isn’t a central obstacle, it’s a faux pas. It’s not allowed to be funny and it’s also not allowed to take up space in the narrative by being the thing the characters must overcome to get their happy ending. Which is a hell of a balancing act.
That scene with Izzy trying to mock Black Pete and Lucius is absolutely crucial to this tone. These characters know they’re in a comedy and they react to things like they’re in a comedy, but they don’t react to his mockery like it’s a joke OR like it has power to shame them. They react like Izzy is embarrassing himself by failing to read the room - like he’s a bully, but a pathetic one. You can be evil in comedies and still be funny, but Izzy is committing the cardinal sin of failing to be funny…and what that does is draw very clear boundaries around what the show is going to allow as a legitimate joke. Homophobic jokes can only be funny when the people making them have consensus from the rest of the group that they’re funny. Instead, in this show, it is clear instead that they are acts of violence and (attempted) control. Which defangs them, because the ultimate power in a romantic comedy always comes from acts of comedy. I find it extremely powerful for a queer romcom to look homophobia in the eye like this and say “nah” than either to ignore it completely, or to make it a central problem.
It’s very very smart writing and acting and it should be cited every time someone tries to whine about comedy and boundaries and not being allowed to be homophobic/transphobic any more. You can be extraordinarily funny about queer people and be received well. Queerness just can’t be the punchline.