Hermes: Apollo doesn't care about his partner's gender.
Aphrodite: So he's pansexual.
Hermes: Hell no! Pan wishes he was into him!
Aphrodite: *looks at the camera like she's in The Office*
theoi-crow reblogged
Apollo: Just be yourself.
Aphrodite: Really? Apollo, I have one day to win over Persephone's mom.
Aphrodite: How long did it take for you guys to like me?
Hephaestus: Couple of weeks.
Athena: Six months.
Artemis: Jury’s still out.
Aphrodite: See Apollo? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!
Yeah, Apollo, you really shouldn't be giving dating advice.... Maybe give people advice on plants, that's more your strong suit.
Hades: No.
Hermes: Please?!!! We really need to revamp our image, me and Thanatos are still getting souls that refuse to be escorted to the afterlife because they're terrified!
Hades: fearing death is natural.
Hermes: Aww c'mon, a little afterlife PSA wouldn't hurt anyone!
Hades: fine, but keep it practical.
Hermes: K. *writes the Beetlejuice musical*
theoi-crow reblogged
Me: *finds out Ares is a part of the house of Atreus via Atreus's mother and therefore directly related to Agamemnon*
Ares and Agamemnon are related?! Seriously?!
No wonder Agamemnon had the audacity to challenge the priest of Apollo, Apollo and Achilles, his strongest warrior, in the Iliad!
Man's got that unadulterated Ares audacity coursing through his veins!
Wait! So you’re telling me that Aphrodite convinced Ares to turn against not only his divine family but his mortal one as well?
Damn people really gotta stop underestimating my girl Dite! She clearly has War himself on a leash! (And he’s def not complaining 🤣)
I think we all know the real reason why Aphrodite was able to convince Ares to betray his own kind! 😏
Ares: no I'm not going to turn my back against my own kin! I told Mom and Athena I wouldn't betray them!
Aphrodite: You sure? Cus...
Ares: FUCK my kin! My mom and especially Athena! *Changes teams mid-fight*
I'm convinced Hermes wrote the whole Beetlejuice Broadway Musical as a PR stunt
to make the afterlife look a lot more fun because he was tired of dead people refusing to go with him to Hades: "Let's talk about the whole being dead thing!"
You can't tell me Beetlejuice is not Hermes in a messy trenchcoat with green hairspray paint he stole from a Spirit store in this video!
My ancient Greek professor: lately I keep having these very profound and religious experiences whenever I teach class.
Me *to the Greek gods*: Please stop harassing this man.
theoi-crow reblogged
u call her a “war criminal” and “tyrant” …i call her “babygirl”
theoi-crow reblogged
Zeus: What are you two arguing about this time?
Athena: He's always using common phrases incorrectly!
Ares: Cry me a table, Athena.