Happy Day of the Dead everyone!
Since this is a special day for my heritage, I thought I'd share a little bit about how I celebrate it.
Day of the Dead comes with different traditions celebrated by different families because Mexico is huge and there are regional differences. Depending on the family's tradition, it can be anywhere from one to three days long. My family celebrates it for 3 days starting on Oct 31st to November 2nd.
The first day (Oct. 31st):
This day is for the souls of infants and children. This is the day when we put toys, candy, and sweets on the "ofrenda" (the home altar used to put food and items for the Dead: (LINK)). Anything that will make a child happy goes on the ofrenda. This is a day where we play games, tell funny stories and avoid anything scary or spooky to not scare my child ancestors and little spirits.
Trust me, you do not want to scare ghost children... My sister did this once and, well, I'll talk about it in the "my family rules for Day of the Dead" section. Even thought this day is on the same day as Halloween and people will sometimes watch scary movies on this day. I personally avoid anything that has to do with horror and only give out candy so I can still be with my little relatives while celebrating two holidays that make children and toddlers happy.
The Second Day (Nov 1st):
This is the day for the elderly. Anyone who died within this age group is honored with things that comfort elderly people like cigars, cigarettes, rum, alcohol, sewing, knitting, or embroidery, the warm beverage "atole" (a Mexican beverage: (LINK) similar to hot chocolate but with hot corn and masa), hot soup, tamales and we generally avoid food that's hard on teeth like rough steak or caramel apples as examples since the elderly often eat softer chewing food that's easier on the teeth. This is the day when we play black and white Mexican soap operas, old movies, old songs, very traditional things, and tell stories about our grandparents.
For example: One of the stories that I tell is when my grandmother died. On this day, I felt her spirit the second she died, even though she was all the way in Mexico and I was living the US. I called my dad (it was his mom) ASAP and he started crying because even though he would not get the official news until a couple of hours later, he knew it was true because he could hear her on the other side of the line calling his name and saying, "I'm sorry my son (mijo), my dear little boy."
The 3rd Day (Nov 2nd):
This is the day for everyone else. Because children and the elderly require special conditions like avoiding scary things or avoiding food that's tough on the teeth, they are generally celebrated separately. The last day is for everyone else and the spirits come in droves which is why it's also the day with the biggest celebration and the most spiritually active day.
On this day we give out all the traditional things you see on ofrendas, especially Mexican hominy soup called pozole (LINK) which I'm planning to get for them later today. This is also the most active day because when your ancestors come, my goodness do they let you know they have arrived!
I have these women in my family who fought in the Mexican revolution who wear bandolier (bullet belts) and traditional Mexican clothes and I always know they showed up because I can smell the gunpowder on them. They are the reason why the women in my family tend to run the household. My mom definitely wears the pants 😂
I also have a grandpa who always smells like cologne, cigarettes and flowers. Whenever he shows up, I can't help but giggle because when I was little, he'd always tickle me and then ruffle my hair so it's always fun to have him over!
This day is also special to another deity I work with that I don't usually talk about. La Santa Muerte who has been in my family for a really, really, long time! (Pre-colonization long)
I recently broke a VERY big Ancestral Curse and the second I spoke to her, she was congratulating me on doing something so big for my lineage. She's incredibly kind but very active and because she comes from a very superstitious country, she'll make the place feel haunted to people who are not used to Mexican traditions which is why I never talk about her on my page since I don't want people asking me about her because she's very intense for those who aren't expecting it.
My family has rules for the Day of the Dead. These rules can be broken but they're there for the comfort of the living (so our ancestors don't accidently scare us too much because they're really excited and this celebration can sometimes be a little too much for the ones that are still breathing).
1. We cannot under any circumstances call anyone on the phone. The spirits are VERY active during this time of the year for us and they can and will intercept your calls. This rule started when the phone was invented since the celebration is apart of my heritage. When I was growing up, everytime an adult talked about having any spooky phone calls, it usually went:
"I called my mom and we were talking when all of a sudden there was a lot of white noise and suddenly I heard my father, who has been dead for 2 years, on the other line!"
"Did you call on Dia de Los Muertos?"
"Oh yeah! I forgot!"
"Well, your dad didn't!"
2. No matter how loud, the Dead get, let them celebrate and don't worry about the noise. Do not go to the ofrenda thinking you'll see the living making noise because the dead are coming and they can be LOUD. My roommate broke this rule because she heard laughter and general merriment at 3am one night even though I told her to ignore it cus it always happens on Nov. 2nd. She heard a lot of people and when she went to the kitchen (where the ofrenda was) she was terrified to find no one was there. When she left, the loud noise started again and to this day, she insists it was the scariest thing she had ever experienced.
3. Fun stories only! Mexican people love to laugh and our ancestors are no different. They can and will get annoyed if someone is bringing down the mood! Although some might think day of the Dead is a sad day because of the Dead, it's actually a very happy festive day. One time I was feeling a bit down on the dumps and went to make a milkshake for a cousin who likes them and somehow the lid came off and next thing you know, it went on my face. I could feel them telling me to relax so I just started laughing at the idea of these dead relatives telling me to stop being so somber.
4. Do not expose the little souls to scary movies or they will prank you. Do you remember when I said my sister forgot this rule? Well, she was REALLY excited about seeing a scary movie that came out that day and watched it on her television, by the ofrenda! She started freaking out cus the little souls though it'd be a fun idea to prank her by grabbing her feet from under the bed. Yeah.... I avoid anything scary and if I have to see it, I do it as far away from the ofrenda as possible.
5. Do not have sex during this time. The dead are alive... sort of. On the day of the Dead, it is traditional to treat the Dead as if they were alive because you are celebrating with them so just as you wouldn't have sex in front of your grandparents, children and extended family, don't have sex on this day because it's very disrespectful to the Dead who have been waiting all year long for this time of the year!
There are a lot more stories and rules I can share but I have things to do for this big day so I'll probably share more later!
Feliz Dia De Los Muertos
from my very happy ancestors to yours!
