drink more water

While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.

Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of the Onion, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.

(EDIT: Fixed a sentence incorrectly suggesting that Clickhole is still affiliated with the Onion – it totally slipped my mind that they'd sold it back in 2020.)

Things are grim right now but a small silver lining is that The Onion bought Alex Jones's site InfoWars and are going to turn it into "a parody of itself", using it to make fun of conspiracy theorists and far-right nutjobs.

Some context:

In 2012 Alex Jones called the Sandy Hook school shooting a hoax and accused the grieving parents of being "crisis actors". In 2022 the Sandy Hook parents won a defamation suit against him and were awarded more than a billion dollars. Which is what forced Jones to now sell his site at auction.

The Onion won the auction with the backing of the parents. And the proceeds from the purchase will go directly to the parents as part of the damages payout, Alex Jones isn't seeing a dime.

The relaunch of InfoWars is slated for this January. Which would coincide with Trump's inauguration. I bet The Onion have some plans for that.

laurie 😔

Do you think about me and check my blog every day or are you obsessed with someone else

the new honda odyssey will tear your children limb from limb.

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

hey girl your pussy is awesome, where did you get it installed?

between my thighs

imagine one of those country songs that's all "no more women I'm in love with my truck" but as the song progresses it becomes increasingly clear that the lyrics are describing a literal gay relationship with Optimus Prime

PSA because I have gotten this more and more as service dog awareness has gotten more and more in the past couple years.

I find this mostly to be a problem in like queer disabled spaces. I run into the problem of people, wanting to respect my service dog so much that they don’t really respect me..(?) like they’re visibly like walking on eggshells whenever they’re near me. No one sits next to me or talks to me. I think in an attempt to not “offend me” by distracting my dog when they don’t even know me.

I don’t know if this will go for all handlers, but it goes for everyone I’ve talked to. You will be fine around a service dog handler if you were not purposely trying to distract it. If you’re doing something just cause like fidgeting or somethingand the dog gets distracted that’s on the handler and the dogs training. It’s not your fault, and stop apologizing for it. It gets quite annoying after a while.

TLDR a treat service dog handlers like people and like the dog isn’t there. 

“ treat service dog handlers like people and like the dog isn’t there “ is How The trainer explain to Pixie too .

People should interact with service dog handlers like them would if was not have service dog . but . and . something Like … pretend service dog is traffic cone ! or like is Pixies wheelchair or rollator .

Is really super frustrate . Just like how when people find out Pixie nonverbal and Communicate with AAC device . then people so worried about do wrong thing that they do not even try talk to Pixie , just avoid Pixie entirely .

is very very much lonely time .

it’s been long enough i’m making an executive decision that we all need to go reread the tgi fridays infinite mozzarella sticks article

still just as good as i remember it

The link is broken nooooo

burning of the fucking library of alexandria right here. anyway everyone say thank you wayback machine

Happy ten years of Caity weavers infinite mozzarella sticks article

Hot take, but cis people have gender identities. They aren't the gender they identify as because of their genitalia or what their birth certificate says. They're only cis because they identify with a gender and it happens to match their government documentation. Cis men aren't men because they're "obviously" men for having a penis. They're men because they identify as men. It's the self-identification that dictates this, not any other factor, even for cis folks. And we should be framing it this way. A cis man identifies as a man and a cis woman identifies as a woman. There is no automatic or inherent gender.

You are not "born a boy/girl." Infants don't have a gender. You acquire gender when you identify as it. No such thing as "biologically a man/woman."

"I don't identify as anything, I'm a man."

It sure sounds like you identify as a man, bud.

Giving a brownie to cis folks who rb this.

Gonna admit the "this isn't a hot take it's obvious" comments from a dozen or so people are grating on my nerves, so I'm gonna address that.

Just say you've never had an actual conversation with a cis person outside of a very leftist circle lol. Obvious to you. To you, fellow trans person. I wish I got paid every time I had to hear a cis person say they don't have a gender identity or don't "identify" as anything they just "are" a man or a woman.

Sometimes you have to stop and ask yourselves what group of people a post is mainly directed at.

perfect headline. no notes

LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!

They left the best one off

tucson aint got much but it does have a bridge shaped like a rattlesnake

hes my friend

glad people are reblogging my friend the bridge snake

You can see someone else also using the devices' second seat, and I think that's so cool. Mobility devices help everyone, here other employees also get a chance to sit while they're working. I just love mobility aids, man. It's like the cut curb effect

Need that heavy rain sound type of night

Press X to Jason