In The Name Of The Law

Chapter 2/5 now up!

Read it on Ao3

Fandom: Dead Boy Detectives

Rating: Teen

No archive warnings apply

Pairing: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland

Characters: Edwin Payne, Charles Rowland

Additional Tags: Alternative universe- police, aged-up characters, alive men detectives, modern crime drama, not so much good cop bad cop, as sunshine cop grumpy cop, how to get an inappropriate crush on your boss in 0.5 seconds, a book by Charles Rowland, missing persons case, broadchurch vibes, referenced homophobia

Summary:

DS Charles Rowland is 35, and loves being a copper. He finally found something he was good at after nearly 30 years of achieving nothing. He wants to help people, wants to make a difference and thought he was going to be able to do that in London. But now he's been moved to a new patch, and given a new boss to report to.

DI Payne is a genius. At 34, he's the youngest person to make DI in 50 years. He's the best of the best, everyone will tell you that. Unfortunately that'll probably be the second thing they tell you. First they'll tell you he's rude, unapproachable and thinks he's better than everyone else. They might even tell you about the colleagues he's supposedly made cry, and definitely made request a transfer.

But he doesn't care if you know that. All he cares about is finding Becky Aspen, before it's too late and she becomes another girl who's death he hasn't been able to solve.

In The Name Of The Law

Read it on ao3

Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives

Rating : Teen and Up

Chapters: 1/5

Words: 2199

Relationships: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland

Characters: Edwin Payne, Charles Rowland

Additional tags: alternative universe- police, aged-up characters, modern police drama, UK police force, DI Edwin Payne, DS Charles Rowland, Edwin Payne has a reputation for being a tough boss, how to get an inappropriate crush on your boss in 0.5 seconds, a book by Charles Rowland, missing persons case, less good cop bad cop, more sunshine cop grumpy cop, broadchurch vibes

Written for @deadboyween day 14 - AU

Summary:

DS Charles Rowland is 35, and loves being a copper. He finally found something he was good at after nearly 30 years of achieving nothing. He wants to help people, wants to make a difference and thought he was going to be able to do that in London. But now he's been moved to a new patch, and given a new boss to report to.

DI Payne is a genius. At 34, he's the youngest person to make DI in 50 years. He's the best of the best, everyone will tell you that. Unfortunately that'll probably be the second thing they tell you. First they'll tell you he's rude, unapproachable and thinks he's better than everyone else. They might even tell you about the colleagues he's supposedly made cry, and definitely made request a transfer.

But he doesn't care if you know that. All he cares about is finding Becky Aspen, before it's too late and she becomes another girl who's death he hasn't been able to solve.

Adventures in mirror hopping

Read it on ao3

Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives

Rating : General

Words: 2033

Relationships: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland

Characters: Edwin Payne, Charles Rowland

Additional tags: pre-canon, Edwin Payne learns to mirror hop, Edwin Payne teaches Charles Rowland how to be a ghost, figuring out their new lives together, protective Charles Rowland, Protective Edwin Payne, all they have is each other, pre-relationship, but is it gay to want to hold your best mates' hand all the time?, Best Friends being Best Friends

Written for @deadboyween day 13 - pre-canon

Summary:

“Brills. Can you teach me then, yeah?” Charles moved forwards, rubbing his hands together.

“I believe so. It is a complex art and requires utmost focus. You have to simultaneously think yourself into the mirror, and then think about your destination. But not just where you want to be, you have to visualise how it feels to be there. So, when I want to come to the office I imagine sunlight hitting the window, and lighting up the room, the feeling of peace that comes when I am sitting here with a book, the joy I feel when-” Edwin broke off quickly, and bit down on his lip. “You get the idea.”

“Yeah, yeah I think I do.” Charles said. He hoped he did any way. He knew he would be able to find his way back to the office, because he knew how it felt to come home. Travelling out, that might be a little bit trickier.

Tomorrow Never Knows

Read it on ao3

Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives

Rating : Teen & Up

Words: 2727

Relationships: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland

Characters: Edwin Payne, Charles Rowland

Additional tags: pre-canon, a bit of post-canon, alive Charles Rowland, Charles visits a fortune teller, sometimes it's best not to know your future, you'll suffer but you'll be happy about it, crystal ball reading, tarot cards, established relationship, Charles Rowland loves Edwin Payne, Edwin Payne loves Charles Rowland.

Written for @deadboyween day 12 - psychic

Summary:

“C’mon Charles, pretty please, for me?” Nat fluttered her eyelashes as she pulled him forwards, towards the dimly lit tent that was in a corner of the fair. Charles sighed heavily. He only had two hours- he wanted to spend it eating candy floss and toffee apples, going on the ghost train and trying to catch the eye of the fit girl working on the dodgems. He did not, under any circumstances, want to go to get his fortune told.

Charles gets talked into having his fortune told. & he gets left with something he'll keep with him forever.

If it brings me to my knees (it's a bad religion)

written for @deadboyween day 9 - myths & legends

Edwin Payne is the God of wronged boys, the protector of the innocent.

It was not a title he ever wanted, but Zeus saw what those boys had tried to do to him, how they had tried to sacrifice him, and he had granted him immortality. And you couldn't really say no to Zeus.

But he did not want this power. It was too much and people were too ungrateful. He was starting to think it was worth just sitting back and watching the whole world destroy itself.

Then he had heard a voice calling to him. A boy, alone and dying, was saying his name. And Edwin knew there was something about that boy that was different. He had to see him.

Edwin turned and stumbled towards the door, but as he did it slammed shut in front of him. Somewhere, in the dark and distant house, a clock chimed the loud peel of midnight. The light Edwin had conjured to see by dissolved into smoke as he jumped at the noise. Behind him, Niko and Crystal let out a scream.

“Edwin, what the fuck?” Charles asked as he walked to stand next to Edwin in the near pitch-black. The only light came from the slight flickering of the paused TV- white writing suspended on a black background.

“That was not my doing.” Edwin spoke quietly. “Please tell me you ensured this house was safe before descending on it for your movies?”

“Yeah, of course I did.” Charles said huffily. “Spoke to the locals, no suspicious activity. No hauntings, no creature sightings. Just your run-off-the-mill abandoned house.”

“Then what, prey tell, is that?” Edwin asked. The clock had stopped chiming and there was an eerie quiet, broken by a soft sound coming from upstairs.

“That sounds like…” Crystal started but then stopped herself. They all listened again. It was a high-pitched echoing laugh. Every few seconds it paused then started again. It should have sounded innocent, child-like, but there was something about it that put Edwin on edge.

“That sounds like the clown, the clown from the film.” Niko spoke just behind Edwin, and he jumped slightly. They were all on their feet now, grouped together, staring at the closed door and listening with bated breath.

...

Read the fic here

Get the fan mix here

I'm so excited to share the Halloween collab project between myself and the wonderful @tw0-ravens <3 this has been such a fun project to work on.

Only trouble is, I'm dreaming my life away

written for @deadboyween day 7 - the endless

“He’s trapped somewhere, in some awful dream world, waiting for me, Crys. He can’t leave unless he wants to, and he’s probably brainwashed into thinking he can never get out of there, or that we don’t want him back, or being tortured or-”

“Maybe it’s just somewhere good, and he doesn’t want to leave there.” Crystal interjected hopefully, gazing down at Edwin’s unconscious form.

“I doubt that bloody witch would send him somewhere nice, not after we broke her coven to the four winds. Even if she did though, there is nowhere good enough that would stop Edwin wanting to come back to me. Nah. He’d always come back to me.” There was a fierceness in Charles’ voice, but Crystal felt her expression soften. It must be nice, she thought, to have someone you believed in so vehemently. To have a love so true you never questioned it.

[or, the one where Charles has to enter Edwin's dreams to save him, and realises that maybe his feelings towards Edwin aren't quite as platonic as he's been telling himself]

You're a pink pony girl (and you dance at the club)

written for @deadboyween day 6 - case fic

“We could put someone in the club, undercover, as a dancer.” Edwin said. He was resolutely looking forward and not at Charles, who he had not run this idea past, because he had anticipated how badly he would take to it.

“No way are we putting our girls in the position of bait either, love.” Charles said hotly, gesturing to Niko and Crystal.

“Of course not, Charles. That would make no sense. The one thing we know about this perpetrator is that they have exclusively taken ghost performers.”

“So you’re saying it would need to be… one of us?” Charles swallowed.

“Yes.”

“Right, fine. Okay. I’ll do it then. I can-” Charles started fiercely. He wasn’t scared to wear a skirt and dance about on a stage. Ain't nobody who could say he was fragile in his masculinity.

“Oh no, sweetie. Not you.” Ella said and her and Edwin exchanged conspiratorial glances, as if this was a forgone conclusion. “I mean, look at your posture. The only dancing you could do is in a mosh pit.” Crystal let out a laugh and Charles glared at her. “This one, though. I could work with you. Incredible posture. Long legs. Pretty. Have you danced?”

Run Your Fingers Through My Soul

Read it on ao3

Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives

Rating : Teen & Up

Words: 3027

Relationships: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland

Characters: Edwin, Charles, Niko, Crystal

Additional tags: feelings realization, feelings admission, Charles Rowland is a bisexual disaster, Edwin Payne is an oblivious disaster, not actually unrequited love, idiots in love, fluff, someone needs to teach these idiots to TALK

Written for @deadboyween day 4 - orbs

Summary:

“Charles-” Edwin started, his voice catching over his friend’s name.

“Just let me… Can I go first, please?” Charles begged, his hands still caught up with Edwin’s. Edwin nodded and swallowed the words he wanted to let escape.

“Okay. Don’t be mad. But there’s no case.” Edwin scowled and opened his mouth. Charles winced. “I said don’t be mad! Now, I had to bring you here because there’s something really important I’ve been needing to tell you for a while now and it’s that-”

Charles stopped. His hands fell to his side because he no longer had Edwin’s hands to hold. One second Edwin was there and then the next he just… wasn’t. Charles looked around madly, trying to work out what had happened, what kind of magic could have caused him to just disappear in a puff of smoke. That was when he saw the small orb bobbing behind the board games.

aka The One Where Charles Fucks Up His Love Confession So Badly Edwin Orbs Out.

How Do You See Right Through Me?

written for @deadboyween day 3 - disguise

In life, sometimes we must wear a mask to survive. When the world is cruel, it can seem like the only option is to pretend to be someone else.

Charles never knew which mask he would need to pick up: he spent his life trying to read the signs other people gave out and change before they had to ask him, to always be who they wanted.

Edwin's mask was simpler, but also more flawed. He tried to be like everyone else. He tried to walk like them, talk like them, pretend he wanted what they wanted.

After a life in disguise, it was a relief to finally find someone who saw right through it all & saw the real person behind the mask.

written for @deadboyween day 2 - comfort

“Do you miss cuddling?” Charles asked it quickly, the words tumbling together. He’d been thinking of it with every kick of his football. Thinking of it for weeks, actually, every time he looked at Edwin’s arms beneath his rolled-up shirt sleeves.

“Do I – what?” Edwin blinked, closing the book and looking up at Charles. Even if nothing else came from this conversation, Charles would call that a win.

“I was just thinking. I miss cuddling. It’s one of the things I miss most from being alive.” Charles smiled over at him, a little bit sadly.

[it only takes Charles a few months of being dead to realise one of the things he misses most is cuddling. Luckily, he has Edwin to ask about these things now.]

written for @deadboyween day 1 - colours

[[In a world where your birth mark becomes colourful at the touch of your soulmate, Charles Rowland learns to pull away from physical contact. It is better surely, he thinks, to have the potential to have a soulmate- than to have tried all avenues and proved yourself well-and-truly unlovable. But then he dies, and none of those rules seem to apply any more.]]

I'm so sick of online love on Ao3 [Charles/Edwin, side of Niko/Crystal]

Summary:

“Look, just give me permission to do one thing, and the whole conversation goes away.” Niko waggled her eyebrows enticingly.

“What conversation?” Edwin asked grumpily.

“The one where I tell you all your friends are in couples, that you cannot three-wheel with me and Crystal for the rest of your twenties, and that I absolutely refuse to let you graduate while still a virgin. The same conversation we have twice a week.”

“Niko, for the last time, I am not a Virgin.” Edwin flushed slightly.

“And, Edwin, for the last time, The Case Of the First Year Fumble absolutely does not count, so yes you are.” Niko tutted.

“Right, what do I need to do to make this go away?” Edwin spun around in his chair and folded his arms and legs dramatically. Niko was reminded just why she loved him so much.

“Let me download a dating app and match you with five guys.” Niko clapped.

“Absolutely not.”

[Edwin Payne is 22, a law student, terminally offline or horrifically single. Hi best friend, Niko, thankfully has a plan to sort him out once and for all. or, the one where the fall for each other no matter what, no matter when]

Anyone got any favourite Payneland fic recs?

I'm looking for some really nice soft stuff.

Maybe AUs where they are all alive and cute and stuff? Or just where they are being super soft with each other. Or maybe some really good smut (although I'm pretty sure I've read ALL OF IT on ao3).

Please no angst and no slow burns unless I'm definitely gonna get a good pay off at the end.

Rec me your own fics if you think they fit the bill, no judgement.

I promise I'll leave nice comments <3

Basically I'm just having a bit of a down day and need something that'll wrap me in a blanket of fluff. Thank you please xx

@painlandweek day 2 contribution - myths & legends

Rating: Teen (for language)

Words: 3,2000 Chapter 1/1

Summary: