"Would you rather use the app? :)" I cannot begin to describe how much I wouldn't

Hanging out with old people rules because after a while they trust you enough to confess to murder totally unprompted

Wait what.

Sometimes old ladies had to kick the ladder out from under their stepfathers when they were girls and that’s valid

oh, my little old lady murder story was her replacing the medication in her abusive husband's capsules with rat poison.

"back in the day, our grandmothers worked on their marriages and didn't get divorced!" nah, friend, they COULDN'T get a divorce so sometimes they killed their fuckin husbands. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My grandma murdered her first husband the first time he beat their daughter.

My college was next to an assisted living facility and one time we went over there to draw people’s portraits so we could get practice drawing older people. The lady I was drawing idly told me that she "dealt quite handily with her first husband” while making a stabbing gesture. Five minutes later she requested I make sure not to draw her double chin. I honored that request.

So when I was a child my grandmother told all these great stories about growing up in the Alaskan wilderness. Amazing bad ass stories about her and my great-grandmother. I recently asked my mom why my great-grandmother moved from Texas to Alaska in the first place. Turns out my Great-grandfather was abusive to my great grandmother for years and she lived with that until the first time he hit my grandmother, who was like three at the time, my great-grandmother got him very drunk and beat him to death then moved to Alaska to hide from the cops.

Men don't realize their life expectancy went up thanks to divorce.

Source

:))))))))

My mom is a gastroenterologist and she once told me that the old wives' tale of people who died of "stopped digestion" was pretty much made up to cover up for women who got fed up with their abusive husbands and slipped some rat poison into their dinner (esp in rural areas). Local doctors knew who these men were (everyone knew) and the community pretty much nodded along when the death certificate said natural causes. The widow would dress in black for a couple years and basically go on with her life.

#i knew that no fault divorce led to a decrease in husbands killing their wives#but i failed to consider the reverse was also true

so have a lot of misogynists

It will never stop being entertaining to me that the CritRole cast just brute-forced Essek floating into being canon. Matt explicitly said when he was introduced that he was just so elegant that his footsteps were near undetectable and that it appeared like he was almost gliding, but the rest of the cast just kept pushing "Nah that dude's floating I'm sure of it" until eventually Matt caved and now it's one of Essek's most recognizable character traits, to the point that he has to stop when he's undercover.

best piece of life advice when you want to change a bad habit: you cant remove something without replacing it. otherwise, you'll leave a hole that needs filled.

you want to distance yourself from that friend and interact less frequently? get closer with other friends, and talk with them more.

you want to drink less gatorade/soda? start drinking more water or tea.

you want to play less video games? play more card or board games.

you want to eat less junk food? cook more home meals or go to better restaurants where you can.

energy cant be created or destroyed, and that applies to your habits too.

As a member of the local SCA, two quilt guilds, and a 3D Physical Arts group... The lovely person in the video will be raising their own alpacas by 2032.

i desire her carnally. and yarnally.

So I was going through an image gallery of these old Wizard of Oz promotional pictures and uh-

...🤐

I mean, they were friends of Dorothy.

Good question!

Back in the 1960s Judy Garland- the actress for the 1939 Oz movie- was one of the few celebrities to openly support the queer community and was frequently seen at gay bars accompanying her male friends so "friend of Dorothy" basically became a codeword amongst the community. If you were trying to get into an underground club then the code phrase was often something like "I'm a friend of Dorothy's." or "Dorothy sent me."

The wings give an extra lift

Y'all.

Getting Covid can reactivate Epstein-Barr Virus (what causes Mono)

I have been wondering for a year now how I got mono while masking everywhere and sharing drinks with no one.

They think some long Covid symptoms are actually attributable to EBV getting reactivated.

The article above also describes how Covid is reactivating other herpes viruses, which is true: people are also getting shingles after Covid because it's reactivating their latent chicken pox. If you're born after 1995 you may already be vaccinated for chicken pox, but you may also need the booster; two shots are the standard now but might not have been available for 90s babies. Check your immunization records and talk to your doctor.

If you have ever gotten chicken pox at any point in your life, there is always a chance you can get shingles later. It is painful and contagious, and I personally know of THREE people who got Covid and then only a month or so later had shingles. Luckily there is a shingles (herpes zoster) vaccine, which is separate from the varicella (chicken pox) vaccine.

This is one of many reasons why those of us who are "covid conscious" stress the importance of prevention: even if you get Covid and it's "mild", any infection can still trigger a cascade of more severe health problems down the line, especially if you've had Covid more than once. As OP said, EBV can cause mono, and mono can lead to ME/CFS, of which Long Covid shares many symptoms.

Do your part in prevention: wear a mask, stay home when sick, and keep up to date with all of your vaccines. Get your shit today!

How long until Dr Oz becomes Surgeon General

motherFUCKER

And I want it now

Guys, I had one of the weirdest 15 minutes of my life yesterday, as if some higher power put me in a jar and shook me around for a very short time and then let me out again.

But before I can tell the story I need to quickly make sure everyone has the context: Kotelet, the stray I took in had 2 bigger kittens and was super pregnant. These are the cutlets 1.0 and 2.0, you’ve mostly seen the second gen as they were born with me. But the two initial kittens went to Danny. They were very wild and we tried to socialize them, but in the process unfortunately one of them got out and was lost forever. This was way back in the beginning of August. The other kitten became Dietzel and recently Danny adopted one of the 2.0 gen to keep him company since we sadly never found the other kitten again… Okay keeping that in mind I can tell my story.

Yesterday around 2 I left my house to go to Danny. While waiting for my tram I was texting someone who is coming to adopt the last kitten. This combined with the nose cold I’ve been having made me a bit inattentive, and I got on the wrong tram. Not too big of a problem, bc this tram also travels close by Danny, I just had to walk one kilometer. A 15 minute walk. What could happen in that time right, I’ve done this route so often.

I get of the tram and I cross a bigger intersection. Open sky above me, as is typical for an intersection. Light goes green, I’m on the crosswalk. Suddenly, and with a loud slap, a pigeon drops dead on the ground in front of me.

I look at the pigeon. I look at the clear sky. I look back at the pigeon. I look back up. I notice the cables of the tram that go over the crosswalk, and realize it must have flown into the cables, and was killed by electrocution. At least it died instantly. Not a bad way to go for a pigeon. One moment it was going “weeeh I’m a bird”, next thing the lights went out.

The crosswalk light had turned red. Normally this would be immediately be followed by irritated honking, but as I make eye contact with the driver perpendicular to me, he also points at the cables and we exchange some “crazy right??” looks while I hurry to the side of the road.

“What’s it called again when people tell fortune by looking at birds?” I think, (it’s Ornithomancy) “the ancients Greeks did it, I remember it from the Odyssey… sure hope it’s not a bad omen!” I imagine a Greek augur predicting a war or whatever when a bird drops straight from the sky and someone going “is that bad?” I chuckle to myself, just a tiny bit nervous, and I continue my walk. Not long to go now.

“Pigeon dropped dead in front of me” I triple text Danny “Crazy. Electrocuted by the tram infrastructure. Super dead in an instance.”

A neighborhood cat cheerfully walks by me. I automatically lean down to pet it, can’t cross a friendly cat without saying hi! It’s a teenage tuxedo.

WAIT.

The cat looks at me. It has a little white moustache. It starts sniffing my boots like crazy.

Could it be…

Squatting on the sidewalk, I go in my pictures folder and frantically search for pictures of the cutlets 1.0 The cat leans against me. I find a picture where the kitten has a distinctive black mark on the back of its otherwise white socks. I stare down.

On the back of its legs it has a distinctive black mark.

“You got to be kidding me” I say. “Sniff sniff” says the cat. He headbutts me again.

I am 350 meters from Danny’s door. Obviously I don’t have anything with me. A car drives close by. I gotta do something, so I pick him up. And he lets me. And I just start walking.

After a 100 meters, he wants to go down again, so holding him in a sitting position, I grasp his hind legs with one hand, like they hold wild birds when ringing them, and my other arm goes across him to squeeze him against my chest and I hold his front paws. He meows a little and bites me so very lightly. He just kinda presses his teeth against my skin to communicate he’s not impressed by my action, but that’s all. He’s still pretty tiny after all.

I ring the doorbell, and Danny buzzes me in. “Bring a carrier!” I yell trough the speaker. “What?? Why??” “Just come down!”

He opens te door and looks confused. “Is that Kotelet??” is his first question, as they look alike. “No, try again” I say. Now Danny’s eyes go wide. “No. It’s not possible…”

It’s been more than 3 months. Danny just starts crying out of shock. I start laughing. Both losing it in different ways about the absurdity of the situation.

We’re in Danny’s living room. The little guy is eating all the wet food he can and promptly passes out. We just stare at him. The other cats are peeking in from the bedroom. I look at its white paws, all grey from the street. He purrs. We sit in silence, kind of forgetting to blink.

“Did you see my text about the pigeon that dropped dead in front of me.”

He’s become a very handsome boy with his suit and his moustache and only some fleas

My mom has always leaned pretty left. Growing up I was always aware we were the household that voted for the blue donkey party. This seemed unfair as elephants were pretty great. My parents voted dutifully in each election.

But aside from that my mother loathes political signs. You know the ones. They go up on road medians and stick around for months after the election ends because no one bothers to pick them up.

So one day in my childhood long ago I was sitting in the front seat, just kid baggage getting hauled around on errands by my mom. After a while my mom realized the car in front of us was placing those hated signs.

My mom had a couple trains of thought. The first was that we were in the family truck. The second was we had no pressing business. And the third was that we needed to insulate the chicken coop.

Suddenly mom announced we were having an adventure. We were punishing the big bad littering machine by taking their signs. I was utterly delighted by this. We began to follow the election campaign car, pausing after they did. I’d leap out, snatch the sign and toss it into the bed of the truck as fast as I could before flinging myself back into my seat.

It took a long time for the sign car to realize what was happening. They got out to yell at my mom who stoically informed them that the signs were being left on public property and as such counted as litter. The person huffed at her and drove away. Mom followed along hopefully but they were done placing signs.

After that we made a game of snagging signs when we saw them, amassing quite a collection.

That fall the coop was adorned with the plentiful campaign slogans of people vying for public office. But while our poor chickens may have slept under the weight of empty promises and propaganda, each one followed by the watchful eyes of countless politicians, at least they slept warm.

In Prince Caspian Susan literally throws an arrow fast and hard enough to pierce through a man’s armor and kill him. Savage.

What’s even more savage is the way she stabs the first guy in the crotch before using the same arrow to kill the second guy. Susan’s not messing around.

Turn on

#susan pevensie #or her extremely appropriate official title ‘susan the gentle’ 

My history teacher told me once that people use to give kings titles ironically. Like if he was a great king they would called him “X the Terrible”

Lets just say that’s what they were going for here

Here’s the thing though: this isn’t sarcastic. Susan is the gentle one, the one who doesn’t go to battle. But when she does…. oh boy. If she’s the least scary Pevensie, I’d hate to see what the others can do.

oh she IS

did you see the boys with a sword? edmund is canonically the best swordfighter in all of narnia, lucy is the best warrior they’ve ever seen and susan is the best archer - those are statements made by various different characters and the narrator, at one point two telmarine soldiers shit their collective pants when they see Edmund, who looks at this point about 11 years old, and isn’t even armed, only accompanied by a giant and another narnian, two creatures the telmarines aren’t scared of

susan is a pacifist, and she’s the least terrifying one because she’s the social one who does all of the organising, the balls, the audiences - she’s hard to get to fight, unlike the others, that’s an aspect of why she’s gentle.

edmund fights using two swords and no shield, lucy is fast and agile and can throw that dagger with a precision that honestly scares me, peter took on the white witch one on one and CAME OUT ALIVE, if I had to choose between who’s the least terrifying from a warrior’s perspective, i’d pick susan too.