going insane hearing talk about whether harris did enough to "earn" votes. no candidate has ever or can ever earn my vote because a vote is not a payment i send to a politician and it's stupid to think about it like it is. exact same thinking error that leads to people talking about not voting like it's a boycott. if anyone earned my vote it's the people i tried to use that vote to protect

you never owed kamala harris anything. you owed it to your fellow citizens of the world to vote for harris.

kamala harris is not even close to being the person who would have benefited most from her winning the election, and she's even farther from being the person who will be hurt the most by her loss, which makes thinking about it in terms of "but did she deserve my vote?" disastrously stupid. she simply is not the person whose deserving matters at all here

Exactly tbh

I don't go to the gym because it motivates me. I don't arrive to work on time because of how my job earned it. I don't eat fruits and vegetables because they inspire me.

SOMEONE FINALLY PUT IT INTO WORDS!!!

guYS THE FUCKING SIGNS

the “i am from russia” was a warning

I asked a taxi driver in Bucharest to take the quickest route to the airport. 10 minutes later we're doing 120kph the wrong way done the street car tracks when another taxi tried to pass us and dude just floors it. Never spoke a word, smoked 9 cigarettes over the 30 minute ride, never took off his sunglasses and blasting opera all the way. I look at it as paying 15€ plús tip to lose all fear of death.

the "i am from russia" was both a warning and a promise, and one that would weirdly put me at ease about the situation.

how could you leave this in the tags

second hand story but one I know is true, but my dad worked as a taxi driver in Monteray in the 90s. Now, it’s important to note that there’s a racing event in town, so lots of people are coming through. My dad just so happens to get a group of people in town for the race in his car.

Because taxi’s are not like uber and you are basically expected to make conversation, my dad asks if these guys are in town for the races. They say yeah, so my dad asks “are you participating or are you watching?”

“Participating”

“Well then, I don’t like you”

They ask why, and my dad explains that they’re doing what he’s always wanted to do. Well, this small guy right behind my dad makes the mistake of saying “Well, show us what you got.”

My 25 year old father, takes this as a challenge. Now, his driving is still scary to this day, so imagine how it was when he was 25. He fucking floors it down the highway, and there is an exit they need to take to get to the bar the guys are going. This exit has hedges on the drivers side, so my dad slows down to 60, takes this turn on 2 wheels. All the guy behind him see’s is these bushes coming at him, so he does the rational thing and he screams like a little girl.

When they arrive at the bar, everyone piles out, and then one guy stops, turns around and motions for my dad to roll down the window. He tosses a $5 at my dad and says “I’ve never heard anybody make Christian scream like that.”

My dad had Christian Fittipaldi and his pit crew in his car, and made him scream like a little bitch. It’s my all time favorite story.

@dear-ao3

the main problem with this time of year is the irresistible urge to get fully into bed at like 5:34 pm and outside is like yesss, yesss do it, it's what you deserve yesss. like is it depression or is it just november

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it ith the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

Fascinated by the perceived necessity of an Equivalent Exchange

Girldad pumpkin carving🙂‍↕️

I hate buses so much. Trains are easy, reliable, straightforward. No nonsense. You can trust them. Buses are evil, deceitful creatures who delight in your suffering

yeah that’s fair

it is truly so pathetic how much america hates women

Concept: Depressing dystopian factory where everything is gray and samey and the workers are called by their employee numbers by an ominous deep voice.

But it's a really great place to work with high salaries, excellent benefits, and a flexible working schedule with plenty of paid leave. They just like the dystopian aesthetic.

PA system: Worker 72094. Leave your working station and report to the Supervisor immediately.

Supervisor: Worker 72094. You failed to meet your quota for 3 weeks in a row now.

Worker 72094: I can explain!

Supervisor: You're clearly burned out. I heard you moved recently. Take a mandatory two weeks paid vacation to readjust and report to me then.

Worker 72094: I... thank you?

Shadowy Board Member: Worker 11335. Do you know why you were summoned?

Worker 11335: Is it because I badmouthed the company during lunch?

Shadowy Board Member: That is correct. We are very displeased, Worker 11335...

Shadowy Board Member: ...with ourselves, that is. We hold ourselves to high standards of excellence which we clearly failed to meet. We were hoping you could advise us on necessary improvements. You will receive appropriate compensation, of course.

Job Interviewer: *wearing a featureless mask and speaking through a voice changer* Welcome to Hopeless Inc., Worker 100100.

Worker 100100: What's with the mask?

Job Interviewer: I'm shy 🤭

Of course. All Hopeless Inc. employees are due-paying members of Mindless Drones United.

It's a very responsive union that cares about its members on an individual level. They just love the dystopian hivemind aesthetic.

can I just log in

goodbye

can I just log in

you look great in that frog costume

reblog to tell your mutuals they look great in that frog costume.

SEETHING rn because when i was getting ready to go out my housemate saw my platform boots and told me "watch out for low-hanging branches" thinking he was being sooooooo funny and guess what i walked straight into on my way into town. well why don't you just fucking guess.

is anyone else constantly afraid they’ll be “caught” doing stuff they’re obviously allowed or even supposed to do

uh oh 😖 I’m playing video games 😰 on my computer 🫢 that I own 😨 if anyone sees this I’m going to have to fake my own death