Mere. She/Her. Multifandom. House Stark Loyalist™. Salty winter adult and permanently exhausted pigeon. Known for my viciousness, continuous bullshit, two-faced fuckery, and desperation to maintain my BNF/Meta Queen status.
you know what is honestly the most annoying af part about the sexism and misogyny constantly hurled at traditionally feminine fictional characters?!?
it licherally makes N O F U C K I N G S E N S E...
“oh this female character DOESN’T fight in hand to hand combat, isn’t into sports, and can’t shoot guns but she DOES wear dresses, love the color pink, and have above average personal hygiene so she OBVIOUSLY must be U S E L E S S and E V I L!!!”
tbh it always really confuses me when people justify violence against women in fiction as being “historically accurate” like it isn’t still happening literally everywhere all the time.
I am not a man-hater.
But I am afraid of men.
If I’m the only woman in a room full of men I am afraid.
And if you think that’s unusual, you’re not speaking to the women in your life.
Others might have a different view, but here’s how I see the distinction between sexism and misogyny. When a husband tells his wife, “I can’t quite explain why and I don’t even like admitting this, but I don’t want you to make more money than me, so please don’t take that amazing job offer,” that’s sexism. He could still love her deeply and be a great partner in countless ways. But he holds tight to an idea that even he knows isn’t fair about how successful a woman is allowed to be. Sexism is all the big and little ways that society draws a box around women and says, “You stay in there.” Don’t complain because nice girls don’t do that. Don’t try to be something women shouldn’t be. Don’t wear that, don’t go there, don’t think that, don’t earn too much. It’s not right somehow, we can’t explain why, stop asking.
We can all buy into sexism from time to time, often without even noticing it. Most of us try to keep an eye out for those moments and avoid them or, when we do misstep, apologize and do better next time.
Misogyny is something darker. It’s rage. Disgust. Hatred. It’s what happens when a woman turns down a guy at a bar and he switches from charming to scary. Or when a woman gets a job that a man wanted and instead of shaking her hand and wishing her well, he calls her a bitch and vows to do everything he can to make sure she fails.
Both sexism and misogyny are endemic in America. If you need convincing, just look at the YouTube comments or Twitter replies when a woman dares to voice a political opinion or even just share an anecdote from her own lived experience. People hiding in the shadows step forward just far enough to rip her apart.
Abusive men pave the way for lazy men to get wives and girlfirends.
pulpmother
Lemme clarify, how many times have you heard your overworked female friends and relatives say “Yeah, Jerry drinks beer every evening after work while I cook dinner and clean up after everyone and does the bare minimum to help me raise the kids but he’s such a nice guy. He’s never beat me in my life. I couldn’t ask for a better guy in my life.”
Like no, Sally, your husband is a common stone among turds and you know it.
I am not saying Arya was never treated badly, that’s simply not true. I am also not saying that Sansa is blameless or that her treatment of Arya was always fair, that’s also not true. But both of those things are completely and totally beside the point… The point is this: instead of looking so hard for someone to blame for judging Arya (and weirdly settling on another young girl who was subjected to her own unfair mistreatment, as well as horrible abuse, in the series??) that maybe, just maybe, you should be blaming the misogynistic system that dictated the arbitrary standards by which she was judged.
Blame the Westerosi patriarchal system that placed impossible expectations on women beginning in childhood, but still demanded absolute conformity.
Blame the system that criticized, and often ostracized, women who could not or would not comply.
Blame the system that essentially turned “slut shaming” into some creepy public spectator sport refereed by nuns.
Blame the system that determined a woman’s worth and value by the state of her virginity and reproductive organs.
Blame the system that told parents the only way to ensure their daughters had a good future was basically to make them ~marketable~ as a proper lady a man would want to marry.
Blame the system where it was acceptable for men to have multiple illegitimate children with multiple women, but mercilessly condemned women who became pregnant and had children out of wedlock.
Blame the system that treated women like chattel and, in most cases, completely stripped them of their agency and autonomy.
Blame the system that decided that there can only be one type of “good woman” and that any woman outside that definition should be judged.
Blame the system’s rampant, indoctrinated misogyny that taught women to hate themselves and other women basically from childhood on.
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