Realising that it has been two years since the Early Man premiere is realising that it's also been just over two years to the day that I decided to do something about my life.

As some of you might know, I spent the first half of the decade seriously ill, becoming almost reclusive as Crohns disease ravaged my body and the resulting depression overwhelmed my mind. I lost friends because I was so anxious about even going out in public or socialising.

I lost myself for a while. But facing my own mortality gave me a kick up the backside to engage more with the things I was passionate about. I’ve always been a bit of a geek about books, films and a few different fandoms. But I used to suppress that side of myself, worried about being laughed at. Looking back, I have no idea why. It wasn’t as if I was ever one of the ‘cool’ kids, anyway!

I've talked about this before, but I'll say it again. Tumblr saved my life. At my lowest point, at my weakest, I discovered a community online. I had a lot of time on my hands back then, being bedridden for extended periods of time after multiple surgeries and setbacks, and days spent in hospital. I couldn't sleep, and so, when I was wide awake at silly o'clock in the morning, I’d look on Tumblr, where there was always someone around - the people we fondly call our pocket friends. We might never have met in person, but we still refer to them as our ‘friend in [insert town or country]’ as if we have. And doing so gave me the confidence to no longer be embarrassed about the things that I liked.

But my resolution for 2018 (which was a pretty huge deal as someone who didn’t even make resolutions) was to do more. To push myself to get out and engage more with the things I was passionate about. The stepping off point was travelling to London for the Early Man premiere. It was a pretty last minute decision, and not guaranteed to even happen until I was sat on that train (if you have IBD, you’ll understand!) But it turned out to be a great way to start the year.

And who knew then what it would lead to? Later that same year I travelled alone to Chicago and met Tom for the first time (as well as the lovely Lee Pace) at my first overseas convention. But more than that, I also finally got to meet two of my Tumblr ‘pocket’ friends in person. 

Since then, they’ve come to the UK to stay with me; I’ve met even more of my wonderful friends; i’ve got back into going to the theatre; and last year I finally realised my dream of attending San Diego Comic Con (and the madness that is Hall H on a Saturday!)

So I guess, really, all i’m trying to say is that it's never too late to start living your life the way YOU want to live it. I realise i’m fortunate in that I was able to afford (with a lot of saving up and sacrifices) to travel for my dreams. But it doesn’t have to cost money. And you don’t necessarily have to travel to do it. 

But whatever your goals are? Be bold. Be adventurous. But most importantly? Be you! After all, you only get the one life. Make it memorable!

So, I was lucky enough to be able to watch Cyrano de Bergerac at The Playhouse Theatre, starring James McAvoy a few days ago. I’ve been meaning to write about it for a couple of days, because it so unlike any version i’ve ever seen before. Jamie Lloyd’s direction is bold and beautiful, but it’s Martin Crimp’s translation of Rostand that’s the real star. Think performance poetry, cut with beat-boxing, and the competitive air of a rap battle, and you’ll get the tiniest hint of just how energetic and dynamic this adaptation is. The entire ensemble cast is outstanding, and the opening scene setting allows them to establish each of their characters. It’s a diverse cast in every sense and they seem to be having just as much fun as the audience. Ragueneau (played by Michele Austin) is my favourite. But the moment Cyrano (played perfectly - and without prosthetic - by James McAvoy) steps into the limelight the energy on the stage cranks up a notch. 

[Spoilers below the cut]

Yesterday I had the absolute pleasure and privilege of spending the afternoon in the company of this wonderful man. It was a return to the Harold Pinter Theatre (which feels a bit like home now!) And what an absolute joy. It’s honestly hard to believe this man is eighty years old. From Gandalf to Widow Twankey; fond tales of how he became an actor to an absolute masterclass in every single Shakespearean play; it had everything. And there’s a lot of audience participation.

At one point, which I won’t spoil for anyone who might be yet to go, he launches things into the audience. LOTS of weird and wonderful things. I came away with a couple of rather unconventional souvenirs...

His sheer love and passion for theatre, along with many of his cast-mates and contemporaries, is so visible. He moves freely between laughter and frivolity to breathtaking performances of poetry and Shakespeare. And there are also extremely poignant moments. He talks of his early closeted life, and how free he felt once he was able to be completely himself. And he talks of mortality, again fondly remembering friends and contemporaries that are no longer with us.

I believe there are still a few tickets available, so if you enjoy theatre, or any of Sir Ian’s TV or film work i wholeheartedly recommend it. You will laugh. You will cry. But most of all, you will just wish you could be as sprightly at eighty years young!

p.s. There’s no stage door. However, if you happen to be seated in the stalls, you might just meet him in the interval, or may even end up on stage! And for everyone else, straight afterwards, you’ll find him in the foyer collecting for youth theatre. Seriously! He has a yellow bucket at the doors! I got an albeit brief but magical moment where I thanked him, and he thanked me right back! 

*Creeps back in* Hey everyone! 

Hope you are all well and not suffering too badly with the heatwave wherever you are in the world. I got home from San Diego a couple of days ago to find that the temperature here was just as hot as in California (but minus any relief from air conditioning). That, along with an already exhausted body and horrendous jet-lag completely drained me. So sorry I haven’t updated this blog sooner. Today is the first day that i’ve even had the energy to switch on my laptop. 

It’s been a week since my dream of sitting in Hall H for a Marvel panel finally came true, and honestly? I’m still pinching myself that it really happened. If you’d told me way back in 2013 - as I sat in a hospital bed watching Tom Hiddleston appear on stage in full Loki gear - that I would one day sit in that very same hall, chanting ‘Loki’ alongside 6,500 other attendees to the obvious delight of Tom; or that i’d be singing Happy Birthday to Benedict Cumberbatch I would never have believed it possible.

I’ve been to a lot of conventions, and even more gigs, but the atmosphere in that room was unlike anything i’ve ever experienced before. It was quite simply electric.

I took a bunch of photos and videos, but truthfully, by now I think everyone must have seen the footage on YouTube anyway. We were seated quite far back (despite having queued for over 26 hours to get in first on Saturday morning! Yes, you read that right... T W E N T Y  S I X  h o u r s. We started queuing on Friday morning, slept under the stars, made so many wonderful new friends. Oh, and we might just have adopted some wildlife along the way too!) But it was worth the sleep deprivation, sunburn, and aching feet. We got to watch Sir Patrick Stewart make his triumphant return to the Star Trek family, the entire Westworld panel, and also an inspirational ‘Kick Ass Women’ panel. 

But it was immediately apparent that the majority of attendees in that room were waiting for one thing, and one thing only. And boy did Marvel deliver. I can say, without any hesitation that it was genuinely one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

Every single cast member, whether new or old got a rousing reception, and the sneak peeks left us all salivating for more. I don’t know if anything has been leaked online but I wasn’t personally able to video any of the exclusives as we had four members of security directly alongside us (apparently I must look really suspicious!) But I will just say this. As someone who absolutely HATED the official Loki series logo when it was first released, it actually makes a ton more sense when you see how they animated it, trust me. 

I’m still in awe of the latest additions to the MCU, with some of my absolute favourite actors and actresses now joining it’s illustrious ranks. And I left Hall H on such a high, doffing my own Black Widow cap to Kevin Feige and the entire Marvel Studios creative team. Phase Four and beyond is going to be another wild ride!

It's been a very, very long 24 hours but we are finally in!!!

Hey everyone! Just a heads up that this lil’ birdy is flying west to San Diego today so will probably only be around sporadically for the next week or so. Please keep your fingers and toes crossed that we somehow manage to get into Hall H on Saturday - i’ve genuinely heard people are camping out N O W so not particularly holding out hope, but God loves a tryer, right? 🤞🏻

Laters, Humm <3

Yay! Finally finished for the holidays!!! 

Well, yesterday was unexpectedly epic!

I managed to get a last minute ticket to see Betrayal one final time, so I gave myself an early birthday treat.

The play was just as great the third time, and being able to watch from another angle (being sat in a completely different area of the stalls) was really interesting as you spot things you miss on other viewings. Afterwards, I made my way outside to join the queue for stage door - after having been barged, and elbowed out of the way by several extremely rude travelling fans who couldn’t even be bothered to applaud the cast and felt it was perfectly acceptable to push half-way down the row they’d been sat at, while people were still sat.

Despite getting out sooner than either of the other times (simply because my last minute seat was at the end of a row) the line was MUCH bigger than I’d ever stood in. I was joined by my lovely companion @tomkurbikston and our expectations were once again absolutely zero, especially as security (who honestly continue to do an AMAZING job) cut the line and moved our portion way past the entrance to the theatre. But we had nothing else to do, so we had a really good laugh as we waited, talking to other fans in the sunshine. Very, very, very slowly we started to move forward but were still not even remotely close to getting around the corner onto the street where Stage Door is. 

Eventually, Charlie came around and was as lovely and sweet as always. He was only able to do autographs and as I’d already had my programme signed by him, I didn’t pester him for another.

Not long after that Zawe came around the corner. This time I asked her to sign my copy of Character Breakdown. She was so sweet and beyond flattered that I had her book. We chatted about the evil incarnate Wash & Go shampoo (if you’ve read the book, you’ll understand!) and the north of England - as you do. I’m pretty sure I offered her a bed if she was ever in my neck of the woods at one point, because I continue to have verbal diarrhea around people, but as she came back from signing the rest of the queue she again thanked me for supporting the book.

We pretty much assumed that we’d missed any chance of even seeing Tom, much less seeing him at Stage Door by this point. I mean, we still hadn’t even  reached the corner and it had been almost an hour. But we carried on chatting to our new friends as we waited. We had no idea what was going on around the corner, or if Tom was even still there.

And then suddenly we were being hustled around the corner by our favourite security guard, and Tom was STILL there! He was further up the barrier than usual. The situation seemed to come as much of a surprise to the security guard that we were chatting to as it did to us, as he’d been out for over an hour by this point. He even basically said that Tom does what he wants! I don’t know if he’s aware how pertinent that is, but it made us laugh.

And then Tom was there... Really, really close. I was all fingers and thumbs as I asked him to sign my programme and thanked him for his performance. The icing on the cake was finally being able to give him a customised Funko Pop that i’d made of a painted Dr. Robert Laing earlier this year. I think I spluttered something about loving his performance as another squash loving Robert (but God only knows what actually came out of my mouth!)

Still, Tom was so gracious as he thanked me, and my lovely companion even got to take our photo together, right before I practically collapsed, overheating from the sun and intense blushing. 

So basically, yesterday was the perfect farewell to Betrayal. And a pretty epic early birthday present! 

( S, I’m still so sorry btw, you know why. I’ll make it up to you <3 )

Humm’s Betrayal Review

In the spirit of Pinter’s Betrayal, i’m going to write this rather rambling review in reverse chronological order, with my (potentially spoilery) personal observations of the actual play under the cut at the end. If you don’t want any of it spoiling, please don’t read past that point! Here goes.

Wednesday 13th March 2019

So a rather funny thing happened to me the day AFTER watching the play, as I was making my way back to the hotel ready to leave for my train. I'd been to the cinema (Captain Marvel for the second time if you're at all interested - just as fun. I want a Flerken. I shall call her Goose. I shall kiss her, and love her, and squeeze her, and get her to eat people who piss me off - Hi Tumblr Support!)

Anyway, there I am, minding my own business, trundling along on my short, little legs towards the tube station, when THE human giraffe himself, the man mountain, the 6ft 2 adonis that is the one and only Mr Thomas William Hiddleston strides past me (presumably making his way to work). 

I kid you not. What are the odds?

Out of all of the tube stations in London, their multiple entrances, and of any of the possible times of the day, he glided past me as graceful as a gazelle giraffe. Clad in the ubiquitous uniform, pea coat and Airpods, glorious curls only slightly dampened by the drizzle. I guess I could possibly have called out to him of course, and who knows? He might actually have heard me over whatever he was listening to, but I was also acutely aware that this was a man literally just going about his day to day business, on his way to work. I certainly didn't want to alert anyone else to his presence or make him feel uncomfortable. To be fair, I also have a track record of spluttering nonsensical nonsense (trust me, it’s a thing) in front of this man, but that's a whole other story. 

So I basically just had a little moment where I grinned to myself at my unexpected - but lovely - little farewell surprise, and carried on with my own business. It’s only as I write this that I now realise it happened on the 13th (which just so happens to be my lucky number!) Anyhoo...

Earlier that same day I’d had a mooch around Leake Street Arches, which was really close to our hotel and where the Betrayal Teaser clip was filmed. If you get the chance, I recommend paying a visit. You could spend hours looking at all of the bold and brilliant graffiti. It’s also lit up in the evenings.

Tuesday 12th March 2019

The Pinter Theatre

So, firstly. I want to give a HUGE shout out to the front of house staff and security at The Pinter Theatre. They were some of the friendliest i’ve ever encountered, clearly VERY busy but calm and collected. The merchandise was also very well priced (unlike some theatres). Programmes are £5 each, A3 posters are £3.

I did find the stalls seating quite cramped, but that’s not unusual, particularly in older London theatres. And the stage is HIGH, so second row might not be the best option if you’re short like me and want to see the bottom half of legs further back on the stage. But it’s a lovely theatre. And there are some distinct highlights of being so close to the stage which i’ll get into later... ;)

Stage Door

On leaving the theatre, myself and my lovely companion @filthyquill decided to attempt Stage Door. We had low expectations (especially given that we were seated in the stalls). We’d heard that Charlie and Zawe had stopped doing stage door a few nights earlier so weren’t really expecting much, to be honest.

As it turned out, we queued for maybe 5-10 minutes (it was bloody freezing so if you’re going over the next few days wrap up warm!) and then first Charlie, and then Zawe appeared and were escorted along the line taking selfies and signing autographs. They were both lovely, though Charlie understandably appeared to be more at ease with the crowds (he’s an absolute sweetheart with the loveliest smile and seemed genuinely humbled when we told him how much we’d enjoyed his performance). We were given the option of a selfie or an autograph. We queued for around another ten minutes, and were then told that Tom had now finished signing (we didn’t get close enough to see him, there were maybe 20-30 people ahead of us).

But honestly? We left that queue still on an absolute high. Here’s why...

(production spoilers below the cut)

@filthyquill Shit. Just. Got. Real!

Well today just got even better!

Tickets secured for Betrayal next year (thanks again @tomkurbikston ) 💕

Venomized Loki finally arrived - and he's freaky but awesome!

Plus a big parcel of goodies just arrived from @deathbyukmen Thank you darling!! 💕

Definitely going to be ending 2018 on a possibly sugar high! 👌🏻

Thank you so much dear Nonny! I'm honestly simultaneously on cloud nine while still having to keep pinching myself that it really happened! I'm glad you enjoyed reading about it too. I only ever wanted to share my excitement so it means a lot that you felt something 💕

Day One ~ 12th October 2018

Today was the day! After months of planning - and weeks of quite literally counting down the minutes - myself, @deathbyukmen and @tomkurbikston finally arrived at Navy Pier, armed with all of our paperwork and more than ready to get the show on the road.

We were directed to our designated line and the excitement was palpable as we finally got our hands on our VIP passes. The ACE Universe event staff seemed to share the excitement, and by the time we cleared security and entered the main hall it was almost time for our first photo ops of the weekend.

First up? Talk about a baptism of fire! Friday evening would be our first encounter with Tom. 

We’d booked an additional photograph on top of our VIP passes - in my case quite simply because I always hate the way I look in my photos (I always blink!) and didn’t want to risk having travelled almost 4000 miles for a picture of me gurning like an idiot! As we headed to the line to wait, the nerves really started to overtake us all. My anxiety kicked in and my hands were shaking badly, and I could barely breathe. I know, I know. Tom Hiddleston is just a man. But I was equal parts excited and petrified! I have a track record of making a fool of myself around people I don’t particularly care about, so this was definitely much higher stakes! As the clock ticked closer and closer to the start time for the photo session, I tried to get my head together, but just as I thought I might have myself in check, an almighty roar broke out around us. We’d been stood right next to the staircase, and as we turned and looked up, there he was!

Tom looked happy and relaxed, clad in the infamous casual uniform we all love, while we practically had to hold each other up! He was SO damn close! 

You’d think getting that first sighting would calm our nerves a little, right?

Wrong! I was a walking, talking mess by this point, not even capable of thinking about getting my phone out of my bag to take a quick photograph as he passed (thankfully this lovely lady was paying attention!) But, to be honest I was shaking so badly that it was probably for the best anyway... All you would have got was a blurry mess, or even just my hand over the lens. 

But then we were off. Tom had barely passed us before our line was guided towards the curtained photo op area, and we each took a deep breath, ready to finally meet him for the first time.

Somehow I found myself at the front of our group, and as I made my way through the curtain, there he stood. The man I have dedicated countless hours of my life to for the last 5 years or so... from watching his work, to listening to/reading/watching his interviews, from being inspired by his generosity of spirit and humanitarian work, to making gifs and edits of literally anything and everything he’s done.

Tom Hiddleston was stood, holding out one of those huge hands I have stared at for countless hours, and was speaking directly to little old ME! Truthfully, the next few seconds are a bit of a blur. I remember him saying “Hi” as he took my hand and shook it - YES... TOM HIDDLESTON SHOOK MY HAND! - and apparently the only thing my stupid mouth (and even more stupid brain) could summon up was “I’m from England!” 

Now, let me tell you, I don’t think I have EVER felt the need to tell a fellow English man, woman or child that I am from England before in my entire life, so God only knows why that’s what my brain defaulted to... But yeah. Apparently i’m even more of an idiot than I thought! 

Tom was gracious enough to laugh (probably thinking ‘Oh God, I’ve got one here!’) while maintaining that devastating eye contact, and then we had our picture taken. I wish I could tell you how it felt to have his hand on my shoulder. I wish I could tell you what it felt like to briefly graze the infamous navy John Smedley sweater. I wish I could tell you how I even came to be facing the person behind the camera. In fact I wish I could tell you so much more. But honestly? My brain had well and truly short-circuited by this point! All I can confirm is that, as expected, the man is T A L L. Our moment was all too brief, as is the way with these photo ops, but I lingered at the sides as my friends had their photo and was able to enjoy that moment in person, and that is one thing that I will never forget!

[At this point I should probably address the fact that there are possibly people who would like to see my pics. But a) I don't share my face on SM for personal and professional reasons, and b) I know - even if I were to hide my face - that someone would completely crop me out of my own special moment with Tom, just to share another photo of him around social media, and i’m sorry but that doesn’t sit well with me, so my photos with Tom are for myself and my closest friends only. I hope you understand] <3

Once we left the area, our nervous excitement spilled over and all we could do was to hold each other for the longest moment and squeal, before it was time to head over to the printers to collect our photos.

I ended the first evening with another photo op, having been invited to join a very special couple of ladies in a photograph with a certain freakin’ WWE wrestler. I’m sure I still looked pretty shell-shocked from meeting Tom but at least I was grinning like an idiot. Even better, I didn’t blink! ;)

Day Two ~ 13th October 2018

Today we left our hotel still walking on air from the night before. We had another busy day ahead, with half of our group meeting Chris Evans, and the other, Lee Pace. For me it was almost straight into line for my photo with Lee as soon as I arrived.

I’ve already talked a little about that encounter here, but I would add that I was much less nervous for this one. While I have always had an appreciation for Lee’s work, it was only after binge-watching Halt and Catch Fire late last year that I truly classed myself as a ‘fan’, so I was much less anxious about meeting him. That said, he was so excited when he spotted the Halt shirt that I couldn’t help but to get caught up in the moment. I left that photo op on cloud nine and couldn’t stop grinning for hours afterwards. That man is ridiculously cute. And boy is he T A L L! (Yes, even taller than Tom!) 

My only regret is that I didn’t get the opportunity to see him again for an autograph. Sadly his times on the Sunday all clashed with my Tom photographs and autographs. But hey ho. Maybe another time!

After a quick bite to eat we headed over to the Main Stage for The Avengers Panel, fully aware that as two of us didn’t have a VIP pass for any of the three panellists, we’d likely not get a very good view. We found seats on the back row, and it was then that we finally got to meet @curator-at-large in person. What a lovely moment! Sadly our time was cut short as the panel was just about to start but it was so cool to be able to put a face to a name. 

Then the audience were told that there was still space near the front, so we decided to venture forward and see what we could find. We found a great spot, just to the side of the stage against the wall.

We had a perfect view of Chris Evans, Lee Pace and Karen Gillan as they took to the stage. Little did we know that a certain Mr Hiddleston was stood watching the entire thing, just like us, on the balcony directly above our heads!

It was clear from the crowd’s response just how popular ‘Cap’ was as soon as Chris came on stage.

Chris was very humble, thoroughly likeable, passionate and just as political as in his Twitter feed - the crowd erupting in applause when both he and Lee urged the audience to get out and vote in the US midterms.

I have to admit though, that after my earlier experience with Lee, I was still more than a little starstruck and truly only really had eyes for him throughout the panel. 

He comes across as one of those people who doesn’t say a great deal, but when he does it’s sassy, passionate, or just downright hilarious (particularly as he regaled the audience with the tales of his problematic Ronan the Accuser costume).

Karen Gillan was a joy as always. Her best moment for me was when she was asked what she’d do if she had access to the Infinity Gauntlet, and let’s just say it involved a certain infamous ‘orange’ person meeting a similar fate to Loki... ;)

Perhaps the most poignant moment came when all three guests were asked for advice on how to handle anxiety by one member of the audience. I’ve sadly seen some negative discussion aimed at this person since the Con, but I can tell you now, within that auditorium I saw nothing but love and support for her. 

Finally we watched the Cosplay contest. There were some A M A Z I N G costumes, and hilarious moments: The sassiest Grandmaster pushing Loki and Thor out of the way; and more than one Loki cosplayer suffering the same ‘horns’ malfunctions that Tom has spoken of in the past. It was a fun way to end the day, and we dragged our tired asses back to the hotel on yet another high.

Day Three ~ 14th October 2018

Day three, and it was our final ops with Tom. This time we were armed with our VIP passes, which meant both a photograph and an autograph, then later on seats for Tom and Elizabeth Olsen’s panel.

First up. Our photo op. With a straightforward and thankfully gurn-less ‘hug’ photo in the bag, I really wanted something a little bit more unique for the second picture. Back in the UK I’d toyed with the idea of going all out and cosplaying as ‘Painted Laing’ for a while, but a) I am WAY too lazy, and b) I wasn’t convinced that I would even be let into the event carrying a tin of paint. But then, as I sat rewatching Kong: Skull Island one night, an idea came to me. 

Remember that moment when Lt. Hank Marlow meets Conrad et al. for the first time?

It’s one of my favourite moments in the film, and the fact that Marlow actually references Chicago’s most famous sports venue just confirmed in my mind that it was fate. After all, the likelihood that I would EVER get the opportunity to meet Tom Hiddleston in Chicago again was surely slim to zero. So I got a shirt especially printed: 

At the last minute I found a candy replica of a Chicago-style hot dog, but the beer presented a bigger challenge. I knew I wouldn’t be able to bring alcohol in, so there was a mad dash to try to get something - anything! - to take the place of the beer. We desperately searched for a bottle of root beer, but as is sod’s law, there was none to be found near the venue. In the end the lovely lady on the concession stand near the second stage took pity on me and gave me an empty plastic fruit cup.

Before we knew it, it was time to queue up again, and this time we were all ready with our phones. I managed not to freak out completely and captured a couple of seconds of shaky video, but honestly? I was more focused on desperately trying to recite what I was going to say to Tom once I got inside, because I was absolutely petrified that I was going to get my words muddled up when I pointed at my shirt and asked if he’d mind if we did something with the props. Given that I was holding a fake sausage and had to point in the direction of my chest, i’ll leave it your imagination what unhelpful sentences continually crossed my stupid mind...!

But, in a rare moment of clarity, I somehow managed to articulate what I was asking for. Tom read the movie quote on my T-shirt and nodded, clearly understanding as he adjusted his glasses *whimpers* and said “Aaah”. He, of course managed to look like the pro that he is in the photograph: holding the empty fruit cup in such a way as to make it look EXACTLY like a beer; whereas I look like I’ve never held a hot dog before in my entire life! I guess that’s why he gets paid the big bucks though! But we somehow made it work, it is definitely unique, and as he handed the plastic cup back to me and I thanked him, he laughed and said: “John C. Reilly would have LOVED that!”.

So, yeah. Day. Month. YEAR... Made!

There was little time to dwell on this though, as it was straight in line for our autographs. I’d been toying with a couple of ideas for things to be signed, but when I saw the photo we’d taken earlier I decided to go with that, as it felt much more personal than a poster or a Funko Pop. As we waited - Tom still busy with the rest of the people waiting in line for photos - we got to share our experiences so far with other fans. There’s always so much love at these events, and we had the pleasure of chatting to the little girl you may have seen on Twitter who was dressed as Loki, replete with her amazing green tutu, as she was directly in front of us with her mum, and we also met Grace from Twitter (Disneycastle88). As always, it’s nice to put a person’s face to the social media account.  

Before we knew it, we were being guided into the autograph area, and for the first time the entire weekend, I was able to take a few moments just to watch Tom in action. I can’t say I wasn’t nervous still - because apparently that’s my default setting around this man! - but a lot of the earlier adrenaline had finally burnt away, and I was able to at least appreciate some of the little things i’ve always admired. Little things like the way he took the time to make eye contact, and engage with each and every fan as he signed their items. 

That isn’t always a given at these events, let me tell you. 

When my turn finally came around I passed him the photograph and he paused and smiled at it, then looked directly at me and grinned as he said: “See? We made it work! That definitely passes as a beer!” 

I think I replied with something along the lines of: “You did a great job, thank you.” but It could just as likely have been “Asdfghjkl...flurbergurgle” that came out of my mouth!

I wish I could tell you that while he was signing the photograph - during which it almost felt as if time had stood still - I managed to tell Tom just how profoundly he’s inadvertently affected my life over the last five years. I wish I’d been able to tell him how many friends he’d unknowingly brought into my life. I wish i’d been able to tell him what an amazing talent he possesses, how he brings everything he performs to life, and how he inspires me each and every single day with his kindness, his generosity of spirit and his unwavering values.

But as he started to write I’m afraid my brain went completely and utterly blank yet again and instead I simply stared at those beautiful hands as they glided across the photograph. As I somehow gathered a breath, I did manage to notice The Eyelashes of Doom™ and Boom! Anything approaching a coherent thought that might have still been bubbling under the surface well and truly evaporated.

I just about managed to remember to give him the (still packaged) gummy hot dog (Hey, I figured he might need the sugar fix later on!) and - given that luckily I had already had the foresight to assume I was going to lose any semblance of articulacy - a thank you card which I had been at pains to ensure said EVERYTHING I had been incapable of articulating moments earlier, to which I got a cheeky laugh and one of these...

[Ugh. I can confirm that the eye contact was absolutely no less deadly this time by the way!]

And so, we left our last one-on-one encounters with Tom on an absolute high. We weren’t so much flailing, as simply grinning from ear to ear and unbelievably happy. With so much negativity in the world, it was simply wonderful to experience such pure joy, and I hope Tom realises just how much of that he exudes.

Once back in the auditorium, we decided to take a seat and try to relax a little before Tom and Elizabeth’s panel later on. We were just in time for the start of Tom Ellis’s Devil in the Detail panel. Never having watched ‘Lucifer’, and only having been familiar with Tom Ellis from way back in the day on Eastenders, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But I was pleasantly surprised. He comes across as a really fun guy, and we laughed a lot. I’m definitely going to check out ‘Lucifer’ when I get a spare moment.

And then it was main event time... We’d already been told that ‘The Trickster and The Witch’ panel was going to be a little different from others we’d already seen that weekend. It was billed as ‘Tom interviews Elizabeth’...

By now you’ve probably watched it in its entirety. As always, Tom was his loquacious self, practically answering the questions he put forth. But it worked. We were lucky enough to get seats just a few rows back, though sadly to the side of the stage, but we still had a great view.

All I can really add to what you’ve already seen is just how fantastic it was to watch and listen to Tom talk ‘in the flesh’... [stop it!] 

I found Elizabeth’s teasing sweet, and when we got to the Q&A and Tom was asked THAT Loki question, the entire audience erupted. Of course he spent an inordinate amount of time trying to navigate a non-spoilery answer, finally coming up with this gem:

I took so many photographs, but given our position, i’m sure you’ve already seen much better-quality ones online. Still, our view would only have been better had Tom actually sat in his designated seat(!) but hey, these things happen, and at least it gave us a chance to focus on that beautiful profile and the curls. 

The final question came from the same girl as in the Avengers panel, and what struck me first and foremost was the honesty with which Elizabeth answered. I was already close to tears as I pinched myself yet again, trying to get to grips with the fact that I was even in that room, but to know that even big stars have severe moments of doubt and anxiety really struck a chord with me. As always Tom then went on to give yet another thoughtful, and eloquent response, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I completely lost it. Again.

But I don’t want to end this post with me getting emotional again. So instead...

Tom wasn’t exaggerating. I’ve been to several UK Conventions now, and the cosplayers in Chicago did not disappoint. There were SO many amazing ones to choose from, from every variation of Loki you can think of to the ones who cosplayed as ‘Tom’ himself. But here are just a few of our personal favourites... 

(The Heimdall one in particular was OUTSTANDING, even down to the gold contacts!)

And so, we finished our amazing weekend with some retail therapy at our favourite artists at the event. If you haven’t already discovered the amazing illustrations of @butternut-gouache and @briannacherrygarcia go take a look at their work, right now! Erin also posts over on Instagram, as does Brianna. We also got to fangirl over our mutual love of @mintmintdoodles  Our final stop was to the talented local artist Deviant Apple Illustrations, where we pretty much bought up the last of Esteban’s remaining Loki stock. Again, if you haven’t seen his artwork, take a look. 

We left Navy Pier laden down with goodies and on such a high. And, to be honest a week later i’m still struggling to come back down to Earth, or even process that last week really happened. I have so many more memories, but a lot are simply not my stories to tell. All I will say is that anyone who has followed my blog for any period of time will have some knowledge of just how big a deal it was for me to travel almost 4000 miles alone. The past five years have been the toughest of my life, but from the second I set foot in Chicago I had the biggest grin on my face and immediately felt welcomed. 

The people of Chicago, the ACE event organisers, and most significantly the wonderful @deathbyukmen, her A M A Z I N G family and our dear friend @tomkurbikston will forever hold a special part in my heart. 

Meeting Tom, Lee and all of the other amazing fans was just the cherry on top of the biggest and best cake ever!

If you made it to the end, THANK YOU for reading. Give yourself a huge slap on the back and please excuse my propensity to waffle. I’m well aware that I lack anything resembling a succinct bone in my body when it comes to writing (as anyone who reads my fics will no doubt confirm!) but I wanted to write this as much for myself as for anyone else, because time dulls memories and i’m certainly not ready to forget! <3