I think any inanimate thing you regularly care for becomes a little alive.

I know they're named after him but for reasons I can't fully articulate it's hilarious that the guy who invented zeppelins was named Ferdinand von Zeppelin

Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin literally sounds like the joke name someone would make up if they didn't know the actual answer

oh you KNOW he’s got that big bushy mustache

a skeleton walks into a bar.

"ouch."

No steppy on the raptor

ID: a drawing of a brown raptor, a small bird-like dinosaur. It is wearing a reflective safety vest, with a red flashing beacon on its head and a tall orange flag on its back. Beside it are two very large dinosaurs. End ID

Let me be With You (2024)

transitioning isnt enough i need to bond with a symbiote. i need to be a weird shapeshifting goo monster. i need look all pretty and then make my face split open reveling sharp teeth that by all logic should not fit in my skull. and the big long prehensile tongue.. ough

Got off a video call with my grandma. Asked her what sort of American foods she was enjoying (my dad flew her in from Korea and she's staying with him in Phoenix rn). She said most of the food isn't too impressive but she's addicted to a specific candy, and when she held up a bag of Werther's Originals I started howling

had a bad low blood pressure moment last night and messily asked my partner for saltines and water before realizing i should probably ask for the Blood Pressure Medication I Need To Take. while they went to go grab it though i still had water and crackers so in a daze i took a swig of water but didnt swallow and then tried to cram 2 saltines in my mouth. full of water. in bed. with mouth full of water

Oh My God Damn

satisfying

dash is dead im teleporting to the past

https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard?max_post_id=606474489540042752

2016 dash here

2014 dash

2012 dash

2010 dash

BEFORE YOU CLICK A LINK!

Reblog this post :) Especially if you’re on mobile, you’ll lose the post if you click the link without thinking. Take a note from your elders before you

Interesting note: It definitely uses whoever you're following now, not at that date. Even the 2020 one includes a lot of people I was absolutely not following yet in Feb 2020, which is actually kind of cool, I can see what they were reblogging from this fandom before I got into it.

Ok but do you think they've been to Libido bath

wait did I really never tell tumblr about giant badger stripper bar

back in 2017-2018 I had a job that involved basically constant travel around the US. I saw a lot of incredible sights. giant sequoia trees. the Grand Canyon. the Apollo mission control room. the world's largest chair. but one sight stands out in my memory for the sheer audacity of its existence. it is a testament to the power of senselessness, the Tower of Babel of whatthefuck. and that, my friends, is this bar in northern Minnesota:

I FOUND A NEW WORST RETAIL SONG

I cannot find it because it's so incredibly generic but I feel like I'm in a dystopian psychological horror every time it comes on, God help me if I can find it I will post a link

it's genuinely the absolute worst, like the perfect uncanny-valley blend of passionless, inflectionless, saccharine, meaningless positivity. It's like if you hot your leg stuck in a woodchipper and while you were screaming on the ground clutching at your grisly wound a person watching tiktoks on their phone nearby was like "damn girl don't die your so sexy haha" and kept on scrolling. Easily one of the top ten worst ever sounds, feels like a CIA experiment, it's perfect

today is a mary drawing day idk

MY ULTIMATE CREATION

We’re coming close to ten years on this puppy

i feel like this is exactly how i sound when i post on here

i love every diogenes joke