You know, I’d always focused more on watching Dean in this scene and felt the pain of how badly he needs the contact, needs to touch him, needs to know he’s okay, the way he’s able to let his guard down at times like this cause he has an excuse…
But now…oh Cas. It’s been obvious for so long how much Cas loved Dean, but I always assumed he hadn’t really sorted out in his head what all his feelings meant, that maybe he hadn’t really thought about it.
But watching this now, knowing that Cas is AWARE of how much he loves this man that’s crying his name, checking on him, cradling his face, searching his eyes to make sure he’s with him…and being fully convinced that he can’t have more…it hurts.
That last gif. Look at it. Everything about it just screams “all I want is to fall forward into your arms and find comfort there and right now I’m barely finding the strength not to.” And meanwhile, Dean’s patting him and working up the ability to let go.
These two…
God you just destroyed me. Fuck.
Now I’m imagining if Cas just barely getting out Dean’s name before he slumps forward, and how Deans breath would hitch because Cas is warm and malliable in his arms, and it would be impossible not to indulge, impossible not to thread his hand through Cas’ hair. And Cas would curl his weak fingers along the edge of Dean jacket, almost weak enough not to feel, but Dean does – and he isnt supposed to have this. Cas can’t want this the sort of touch for the same reason Dean does. But the mark is gone and Cas’ breath is like a blanket, the weight of his head perfect against Dean’s shoulder, and he doesnt know if he has it in him to let go
You get it.
hey you two how fucking dare you
