My anxiety is so bad that even my blessings are clouded by my fears. I'm scared and anxious when I'm supposed to be happy. I can never just relish in my good moments without ruining it for myself.
Self sabotage is my one true enemy.
"How many times have people used a pen or a paintbrush because they couldn't pull the trigger?"
- Virginia Woolf
What a mess I have made with nothing more than an idea that I am not enough.
Not enough to be loved.
Not enough to be considered.
Not enough to be comforted.
Not enough to be seen.
Not enough to be heard.
Not enough to be appreciated.
Not enough to be valued.
Not enough to be me.
I was never enough, and for that I am sorry.
⚠️TW: Suicide mentioned
🚫 Please do NOT proceed if you are easily triggered. I respect those of you who will read this post and those of you who will scroll past.
XOXO, Reina (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤
I have been passively suicidal for years on end. There's never been a long period of time where life made me want to continuously live. Nothing about my life or experiences has ever magnified my desire to live. To be honest, I don't know what I'm still doing here.
*I don't know what to do with this revelation.
It's time to admit that some of us can't afford the rest we deserve. *CAPITALISM*
Growth sometimes feels like hurt because that's where your lesson is.