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#self acceptance – @thedragonflywarrior on Tumblr
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The Dragonfly Warrior

@thedragonflywarrior / thedragonflywarrior.tumblr.com

All original content © The Dragonfly Warrior.
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“Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.”

- Steve Maraboli 

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Sometimes when we try to reach for self love we struggle to open our heart completely to the aspects of ourselves that we have rejected and denied. While unconditional love of all parts of ourself is the ultimate goal, this can feel like a giant leap when you are so used to focusing on your flaws. Acceptance is a softer energy. It is a stepping stone to self love. It is the doorway. Acceptance is a practise of making peace with what is. It is an energy that embraces, welcomes in and allows things to be just as they are. You do not necessarily have to love something, but you can accept it. You can just let it be. You can settle in to a neutral space rather than having to swing from the extreme of self loathing to complete self adoration. And from that gentle, softer space of acceptance, your heart naturally begins to open. Your perception of yourself shifts. A new possibility arises. Love for yourself naturally starts to bubble up rather than it being a forced practise.

Connie  Chapman 

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It's easy to get hung up on physical flaws when you strive for perfection. Debunk the idea of a perfect body and learn how to redefine your self-worth.
by Abby Huot - Athlete, Writer, and Fitness Model
Admit it. You secretly check that "problem spot" you are self-conscious about a few times each day. Whether it's the fat deposit on your hip or the spot on your thigh, you've poked it, squished it, or just stared at it for minutes on end. Really, how do you feel about your body when nobody else is looking? The answer may affect your self-worth more than you think.
There isn't a week that goes by where I don't get an email or a text message from someone saying something along the lines of "Abby, I wish I could do what you do," or "I'd kill to have your physique." And, while I'm so grateful for the compliments, I'm no better or worse than anyone else out there.
Fitness modeling is fun, but it perpetuates the illusion of perfection. I'm not perfect. I have problem spots. Just ask the judges who see me on stage. Stretch marks, breakouts, cellulite? You bet I have them. Heck, I wasborn with cellulite, struggled with my weight for many years, and even now, five years into my fitness pursuit, I still strive for balance between contest living and normal life. It's pretty normal for me to gain 15 pounds after a show even though off-season gains are only supposed to be 5-8 pounds, tops.
The funny thing about getting in shape is that no one warns you that it takes years for your brain to catch up to what you see in the mirror. I can logically understand that I'm a size 4 or 6 when I'm not "contest lean." I know that's awesome, especially coming from a size 12/14. Yet, even though it's not realistic, my brain expects me to be contest lean all year round.
If you struggle with head games that keep you from achieving true self-acceptance, here are some tips to keep in mind.
1. PASS ON PERFECTION, IT DOESN'T EXIST

I was lucky enough to shoot with a world-renowned fitness photographer back in March, which was an incredible and eye-opening experience. I remember wincing as we went through some of my unedited proofs because the images were not what I was hoping for.

He started laughing. All the top fitness models he'd shot, he said, had reacted the same way. "Even some of the most beautiful men and women on earth find something that bothers them on their bodies or in photographs," he said.

The fitness models you idealize as perfect specimens also have things they're self-conscious about. We all criticize ourselves.

Remember that the models and icons you see in magazines and online didn't get that way overnight. They worked hard and were dedicated to their goals for years.

Everyone starts somewhere and it's about challenging yourself, growing, and constantly learning.

2.STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER SCREEN AND HANG UP THE COMPARISONS

What is the No. 1 way to drive your physique straight into the psych ward? Page through other people's Facebook pages and professional photos and compare their bodies to your own. You'll likely never take into consideration lighting, better angles, professional cameras, or the possibility that this could just be one stellar shot out of dozens—even hundreds. Nothing will leave you more discouraged.

According to researchers at the University of Houston, time spent on Facebook is linked to depressive symptoms and a tendency to compare ourselves with others.1

Many fitness models drive themselves insane comparing themselves to fitness models X, Y, or Z. These are gorgeous women with physiques that 99 percent of the population would swoon to have. And yet, they incessantly compare themselves to the Jamie Easons,Chady Dunmores, and Jen Jewells of the world. I ask them: "Do you realize you're someone else's Jamie Eason?"

3. ACCEPT YOUR GENETIC PREDISPOSITION

It's important to accept the cards you were dealt at birth. I was born with cellulite, and there isn't much I can do about it. I can train and diet, but that doesn't make the problem go away entirely. I'm also naturally pear-shaped and am a hip-and-thigh gainer. I have to work with what I've been given, and it might take me longer to attain my ultimate goals. Just as I can't help these things, you can't change the cards you've been dealt.

You might be genetically predisposed to specific fat deposits. Your ethnicity might play a role in how lean you're able to get. You might have a harder time metabolizing carbohydrates efficiently. Help yourself achieve results by researching training techniques for your specific body type. Be willing to tinker and experiment with your training and diet techniques.

4. RECOGNIZE THAT EVERYONE IS IN A DIFFERENT SPOT IN LIFE Not everyone can be held to the same standards. You might have two or three kids at home, may be unable to afford a gym membership, or simply don't have the time to work out every day.

The people you see doing physique contests and gracing magazine covers may have totally different schedules, lifestyles, and demands than you. Don't let their accomplishment lessen your own.

Major progress can be made by doing just 20 minutes of cardio or weightlifting per day or opting for the stairs instead of the elevator.

Be sure to set doable goals that act as milestones to keep you on track and challenge you without being so far out of reach that they're unattainable.

Doing a circuit of 20 burpees, 20 lunges, 20V-ups, and 10 planks four times won't take long, but will produce a sweat.

Try taking family walks in the evening or involving your children in your fitness. Are you still short on time? Make sure your diet remains clean.

Having healthy food and snacks available will make all the difference.

5. VALUE CHARACTER AND EXPERIENCE FIRST It all boils down to one quick statement: Looks aren't everything. Don't forget that the person you are far exceeds the physique you walk around with. Your body can be fantastic, but if you're a rotten person, who cares? Having a better body won't fix personality flaws, past mistakes, or looming personal conflicts. Fitness isn't a Band-aid.

Don't fall into the trap: "If I just looked like X, Y, or Z then everything would be better." It simply isn't true. The eyes tend to lag behind the body a bit. You might not be able to see progress as quickly as you hoped.

Pass on the scale and instead gauge your success by how your clothes fit, how well you sleep, your alertness during the day, and your energy as a whole.

6. YOU'RE AWESOME

You know you are. You have your own skill set, abilities, intelligence, and accomplishments. Focus on what makes you unique. Who cares if you have a body part that isn't perfect? Everyone struggles to turn down a homemade brownie and the occasional slice of pizza. Don't get down on yourself. It's not worth it.

In your moment of struggle, re-assess your goals. Remember why you started. Recall the feeling of belief that sparked your decision to make a change in the first place. Grasp it again! Hold your head high and push past the occasional slip up.

Channeling frustration and anxieties from day-to-day life is a great way to expel them, but never exercise as a form of punishment. Look at your training as a form of catharsis. Grind out your woes and turn those feelings into a sense of empowerment. Training should be a cleansing for your body—emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Mental clarity and "a-ha" moments often occur during workouts. Make sure to use the energy expelled to better you, not hurt you in the long run. Stop beating yourself up and be proactive. You're amazing!

A million times all of this. I love it.

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I have been thinking a lot about how people assume that what’s true for them must be true for other people, or that if one person can do it than everybody can do it, and how dangerous that is in terms of how we treat each other and how we view society. I see this all over the place… Those who love running may wrongly assume that everyone will love running if they just try, or that everyone’s body feels the same as their body feels. Some people who are part of the small percentage of people who diet successfully think that everyone can be successful because they were and, that those who don’t succeed (never mind that it’s the vast, vast majority of us) must be doing it wrong even though plenty of people who do what they did have a very different result. Then there are people who think that if everyone ate like they did, then everyone would be their size. It doesn’t help that we make role models out of people who are chosen for their ability to be statistical anomalies – we choose our actors, singers, dancers, and celebrities for their ability to meet a stereotype of beauty that is unachievable by almost everyone as our first priority, with their talent often a very distant second. Then, though we are clear that not everyone can sing, act, or dance, we suggest that everyone could look like these people if they tried hard enough. We all have things that we are naturally good at, things that we can do with a struggle, and things that aren’t possible for us. It’s completely foolish to assume that list is the same for every person.

Ragen Chastain  (via internal-acceptance-movement)

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emilyruns

Some of you may think that being skinny and having “the perfect body” will solve all your problems, but the truth is it won’t. If you aren’t happy with yourself now, what makes you think you’ll be happy with yourself when you’re skinny? Because then you’ll be skinny? Because then people will judge you? People will always judge you, regardless of what your weight is. If you think people will stop making judgments about you when you reach your goal weight, you should rethink the situation.

You don’t need to be skinny to make your life better; I know that it may seem like that at times, but that’s not true. You have all the resources now to make your life better; use the resources, and stop bashing your own body.

Learn to love yourself. Learn that it’s okay to be you. Learn that it’s okay not to be skinny. There are more important things to life than being skinny. Being skinny should not be your main priority in life.

I know ‘being skinny’ is glamorized in our society, but being skinny does not equal to happiness. Being skinny does not equal to having a perfect life. If that were the case, why are there still so many people with insecurities and countless problems?

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alanaisalive

The fundamental mistake that most thin people make regarding fat people is that they make the assumption that all bodies work the same way that their own does. The naturally thin among us look at a fat person and think, “I’d have to eat nothing but cheeseburgers and milkshakes all day long to weigh that much. Therefore, that person must eat cheeseburgers and milkshakes all day long.”

It doesn’t work that way. Most fat people eat the same basic three meals a day that thin people eat. Despite what you have seen on tv and in movies, fat people do not shove food in their faces all day every day. In most cases, they eat the same things that thin people eat, but their bodies simply process it differently. But fat people are labelled as “disgusting” and “pigs” because they are only ever shown from a thin person’s point of view, based on these false assumptions.

Fat people can be guilty of this mistake too. Sometimes we see someone very thin and, knowing that we would have to stop eating entirely and exercise obsessively in order to be that thin, we assume that the thin person must be anorexic, when they may just be naturally thin.

The difference is, in our culture, thin people are assumed to be morally superior. These wrong assumptions about how body size happens paint the thin as disciplined and the fat as lazy, when the reality is that there are as many lazy and undisciplined thin people as there disciplined ones, and there are as many disciplined and active fat people as there are lazy ones.

“But every time I’m out I see fat people shoving food in their faces.” Really? And you never see thin people eating in public? Are you sure you aren’t just noticing the fat people because you started with the assumption that fat people eat all the time, and every time you see a fat person eating, you take special notice of that as proof that you are correct?

Some people will always be naturally thin, no matter how much junk food they cram in their faces, and some people will always be naturally fat, no matter how little they eat or how much they exercise. The naturally thin may gain weight now and then, but their bodies will always eventually settle into being their own natural thin size. The naturally fat can lose weight, but eventually may gain it all back as their body regains its natural shape.

Attaching moral weight to a person’s body size will always be wrong. When you think that thin people are better than fat people, you may as well be saying that tall people are better than short people, or blue-eyed people are better than brown-eyed people.

The truth is that people are people, and all of them should be treated equally.

A friendly Monday reminder that “fat” is not a synonym for unhealthy. “Thin” isn’t either. You are the only one who can define your own health.

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