Source: everydayfeminism.com
Anonymous asked:
Im trying really hard to fight my ED ideations, but Im finding it really hard to focus my fitness goals around strength and health rather than calories burned and pounds lost. Do you have any tips to help me focus on what really matters?
Hi anon,
Sorry it took me awhile to get to this ask, but I wanted to answer with care.
It’s very hard to move on beyond ED ideations. It can be incredibly painful to let go of the days/months/years controlled by an ED. When we start trying to make positive changes for health instead of calories/weight, the hardest thing was starting to let go of what I sacrificed “for” the ED. It’s like I wanted to feel like the years I spent torturing myself were “worth something”, that I didn’t want to acknowledge that it was “all for nothing”. But sometimes the only thing to do is to allow yourself to start over. Don’t try to hold on to xx pounds lost or xx clothing size. To grow into a healthier and happier version of you, old emotional baggage must be released. I promise that it hasn’t all been for nothing; you have learned a lot and are conquering a terrifying, seemingly impossible experience. But you have to let your body, mind, and emotions start over. Tons of nutritious delicious food and a super awesome badass fitness plan will still be deadly poison if you track it obsessively and use it to beat yourself up when you don’t do it perfectly. Unhealthy desires wearing a new faux-healthy face will still rip you apart in the same old ways.
Moving past the philosophical advice, though ;)
It’s hard, but the best thing to do is to stop counting food. (If you’re not counting food, I apologize for seeming presumptuous.) Don’t count calories, carbs, sugars, fats, proteins, or anything. It’s a nerve-wracking and painfully anxious endeavor for awhile (”how do I know what anything is worth if it doesn’t have a number??” etc) but it gets so much better as you go about your life and you’re not counting food and the world DOESN’T END. (Holy shit.) You can start smaller, like not tracking one meal. Then maybe one meal per day. Again, this usually creates some anxiety, in varying levels of extremity depending on the person. I encourage you to examine and address the anxiety instead of burying it in something else. Since ED’s are generally coping mechanisms used to divert or numb uncomfortable feelings, simply diverting negative feelings caused by addressing your ED behaviors is not actually addressing the root problem. Support people/groups are very important in recovery for reasons like this. Above all, food is fuel, but it is also important to us as humans for enjoyment reasons. Find ways to allow food to be more than numbers to you.
On the subject of exercise: It’s a great thing. But we use it in the worst ways. It’s not compensation for something “wrong” we think we did/ate or are planning to do/eat. We tend to think of food as “plus calories” and exercise as “minus calories” and at the end of the day we’re just looking at whether there’s a positive or negative number. But that’s skewed, aberrant, distorted, really just flat-out wrong. Exercise makes your body stronger and happier. Food is what your body wants to use with exercise to make itself physically greater. It’s intricate and complex and more than math. To have a better relationship with exercise, find a modality that speaks to you. Something that inspires and elates you. Something that speaks louder than the ED voices, something that helps you decide to nourish and refuel after that incredible session because that session was so much more important than the bullshit your ED has to say. I found that freedom in powerlifting, and then in martial arts. The amount of weight I could move was so much more important than a bit of pudge on my tummy or the scale number. In martial arts, teaching my body to whip around and strike with intense accuracy and power is so much more important to me than worrying if my thighs jiggle when I land a hard kick. My little sister just discovered a natural talent for dance. She recently gained significant weight and still struggles with disordered thinking, but she is learning to love - not just tolerate - her wide hips and gently rounded belly and the way her body moves so impressively through space. The ED thoughts may never go away entirely, but when you find something that is more important, that speaks louder than ED thoughts (even just a little bit, even just for a second), the thoughts begin to lose their power… slowly, but surely.
At some point, you may grieve for the time you spent being bullied by your ED, and that is okay. You won’t get that time back. You have to mourn for it and eventually move on. But it wasn’t for nothing. You can nurture a more positive relationship with food and exercise. I won’t ever say that it’s easy or that it just happens one day. It’s a lot of work on your part, not just on a private level but also in constantly fighting insidious messages from the disordered, toxic diet culture we live in. But it is a battle worth fighting and you DO have it in you.
Important question for female-bodied athletes?
Under the break (personal/TMI and multiple TW, etc)
#tw numbers#tw weight loss#tw body talk#tw calories#tw exercise#personal#tw menstruation#martial arts#athletes#question#body stuff#health#wellness#fitness#tw ed mention#tw body numbers#nutrition#weight#weight loss#weight gain#period questions#female athlete#advice#fighting#combat sports#mma#female fighter#I apologize if female-bodied is the wrong term#tw eating habits
Guess who had to wear unusually revealing clothing for her first Bikram session today... :|
I haven't seen myself with bare arms and legs in a long time, especially since it's winter but also because I don't own a full-length mirror. It was awkward and I don't love it, but I don't hate it either and that was a surprise. Even though I can't help but wonder what my legs would look like if I didn't have the super baggy post-weight-loss skin. Bodies are so fucking weird amirite?
Anonymous asked:
I'm 4'11 and want to loose three pounds but I would have to eat under 1.200 calories a day, help?
Please do not start eating under 1200 calories a day. It will not help you achieve your goals. 1200 calories is really and truly not enough to sustain a body. I get that you are small, but unless you are also elderly and completely sedentary, 1200 calories isn’t enough for your body to run. Consider eating more than that and please do NOT eat less than that.
If 1200 is your current maintenance amount, you probably have other things to think about other than wanting to lose weight. If your metabolic rate is really that low, look into some ways you can restore it. Generally, this can be achieved by eating more. If your body has literally reached a point where it cannot burn more than 1200 calories, it is time to stop making weight loss goals.
I am also concerned as to why you are determined to lose “three pounds”. In terms of physical health and fitness, three pounds does not make any difference whatsoever. If you want to lose three pounds simply for the sake of forcing your scale weight to reach a certain number, I suggest that you seriously re-evaluate your mindset and the reasons why you are making these goals.
Instead of trying to lose weight, why not consider working on your body composition instead? If you’re trying to change the way you look, or your fitness level, or your athletic performance, weight loss is not the way to see the results you want. If you really feel the need to change your body, try gaining lean mass and losing bodyfat. Your scale weight should stay the same (or even increase) but your shape, size, and general physique will change in ways you might not even imagine.
To work towards those types of goals, you should be eating at expected maintenance levels or above - 1800+ range or so. More fuel for your body = more energy for your body = more change in your body = more results for you to feel and see. Workout smarter, do some strength training and more effective types of cardio. Get plenty of protein, fat, and complex carbohydrates. Go do something FOR your body instead of endlessly trying to do things TO your body. It will thank you.
I am not trying to be harsh, I am saying these things out of concern for your well-being. I hope you find some healthy positive goals and achieve them with spectacular success.
Anonymous asked:
Will you post an arm flex photo so we can see your arm skin? Just curious
⊱¡⊰
Source: thedragonflywarrior
March body check. Now that I'm no longer weighing myself, my body/self awareness is coming from three things: 1. My physical performance (strength/speed); 2. How my clothes are fitting; and 3. What I look like in the mirror. I don't like using mirrors for the actual body checks, because it's easy to focus in on one little thing at a time until you go nuts.
So instead I'm taking mirror shots and giving them a neutral, gentle glance once a month. This month I feel pretty damn good. I think my "weight" is stabilizing and settling in a very healthy way, aka I'm healthfully hovering at or near my current setpoint. My energy levels are up and my clothes are fitting perfectly. I'm seeing great upper body gains in the weightroom, and my appetite seems normal and healthy. No all-out binges (just some nighttime munchies then and again) and not feeling any emotional imperative to restrict.
The best thing about all this is that my body is doing exactly what I've wanted it to do for the longest time, except it's only doing it now that I stopped trying to force it into that place with exercise and measuring and weighing and hyper-regulating my diet. For example, the more I tried to keep my midsection "lean" by putting restrictions on what I ate, the puffier my belly and sides would get, just from how unnatural my "habits" were. Now I'm eating normally to my hunger cues and listening to myself, and that's probably the flattest belly and slimmest waist I've ever had in my life. (Which is pretty funny because I could no longer give a fraction of a shit about those appearance-based things...)
Looking honestly at my intake, I'm probably ranging anywhere from 2500-3000+ calories daily. I'm making better progress "overeating" (LOLOL) than I ever was "eating for fat loss". My body is hella fueled and it is burning hot! Love this.
Source: thedragonflywarrior
thedragonflywarrior reblogged
REBLOG IF YOU HAVE STRETCHMARKS
This way girls and boys can see they’re not alone. I have them and this would help me see that.
Learning to love 'em. :) They're silvery now, just the coolest color.
This year I made a resolution to wear more leggings.
I have a love/hate relationship with leggings. To be more precise, I have a love/hate relationship with my body that goes as far back to when I began having conscious thoughts as a human being in society. That aspect of my life has been with me, day and night, waking and sleeping, for over 15 years. The idea that my body is not, has never been and will never be a conventional shape and therefore it is automatically expected to be hidden, conned, "flattered" into an optical illusion more closely resembling the standard of correctness. It's programmed deeply into me, into all of us. The insinuation that of course I am "allowed" to accept and even love my body... that is, if I agree to the exhaustive process of either changing it or otherwise disguising it to resemble something more suitable for societal viewing.
Leggings are revealing. They are what a glossy fashion magazine calls "unforgiving" for the large and "accentuating" for the slim. Leggings cover everything yet show everything. Wearing leggings forces you - and the world - to view your own, true, unique shape. In my case, that "shape" is not one considered proper to be seen wearing leggings.
To that I say, no. I pledge to wear leggings as much as humanly possible, and love my legs in them. I am done criticizing my body for everything I've been told is incorrect, and fully ready to love my body for precisely what it is and (more importantly) for what it can do. I deserved to love my body at its highest weight and biggest size. I deserved to love my body in its lowest, painful ED-tortured state. I deserve to love my body at any weight, shape or size, and I am going to love my body right now. Not ten pounds from now, not ten workouts from now, not that elusive pair of "flattering" pants from now. RIGHT NOW, and for every day of my future.
I am showing my thick thunderous thighs and chunky calves to the world because I am going to love the hell out of these legs. I'm going to powerlift with them and hike mountains with them and run 5K's with them and let cute people touch them and wear sparkly neon leggings on them or wear nothing on them at all if I feel like it. Because this love/hate relationship is finished. There's no more room for hate. Love is taking over. <3
An Open Letter to “Fitblr” -
Dear Fitblr, we’ve had quite the on/off relationship these past few years. On the surface, you are so supportive and cheerful and motivational. You were a welcome source of inspiration when I needed a place to start my own fitness endeavors. You gave me something to strive for.
But you know what, Fitblr, I’m sorry but you are not All That. You never were. So much of what you persuaded me to strive for was wrong - usually nothing more than simple misguidance and misdirection from my real goal, but at times purely unhealthy and frightening. For every true, intelligent young person with a positive message, there are ten more miseducated, brainwashed individuals promoting a dangerous, disordered mindset veneered over with faceless “fitspo” and Nike swooshes.
Even those with genuinely positive messages are subject to discrimination and societal privilege in action. A positive message is only received with support when it originates from those who fit the culturally accepted fitness ideal, or have clearly marked that ideal as their goal. Somehow, stuff like "Don’t lose weight. Gain health!" is praised as gospel when coming from a Fitblr faced by a tan, thin young woman with a flat stomach and a pink Nike sports bra, even if her next post is about “losing 10 pounds by June” or “flat tummy workouts for bathing suit season”. But when that sensible, body-positive message is championed by those of us with average bodies, or those of us with no weight loss or appearance goals - by those of us who actually live by those words - our efforts are ignored. This letter is not to demonize the former (that tan, thin girl has every right to do whatever it is that she does) but rather to bring a better awareness to the efforts and validity of the latter. We are here. We are working as hard and deserve to be as proud of ourselves as you tell the “ideal” ones to be. And we will feel proud.
Fitblr is positive and motivational - but only for those who are willing to adopt and live for the goals that our culture has decided are acceptable to care about. You are not given the option to choose or change the ideal; rather, the ideal will shape you instead.
I am a weightlifter and all-around exercise enthusiast, not a photogenic runner or yogi. I do not color-coordinate my gym clothes. I have no “looks” goals. I’m blunt, not charming or cheerful. I am strong, not “slender” or “toned”. I am pleasantly chunky, not “lean”. I fall far from your ideal, and in fact deliberately reject it. Because of this, I know full well that I will never be as admired or respected as those who strive for - or occasionally achieve - that ideal.
But I celebrate that, 100%. In the case that my body is something to be admired and respected, I choose to be respected by a thoughtful few for my message and for what my body can do, rather than being admired by the masses for canned motivational slogans and for what my body looks like. I am proud of me.
I give my sincere gratitude and respect to those who have chosen to appreciate my individual journey to my personal version of health, strength, and happiness. Thank you.
Source: tumblr.com
Becoming a fan of my butt. Hashtag #SQUATZ
Source: tumblr.com
Thank you. :) That is exactly what I am trying to find. I felt best emotionally in the top middle pic, when I was still overweight but felt super sexy. Physically, I feel the best probably right now, which is a good feeling, but I need to get there mentally and emotionally as well. I'm still doing good things for my body - eating good food, exercising for physical ability, getting lots of sleep - but the focus is definitely on mental/emotional health as a priority. The body can wait, because the physical is no good without healthy thoughts and feels.
Body checking really quick here because I have had such disconnect towards all the physical changes my body's undergone that I have pretty much no concept of my appearance.
- Top left picture: May 2011, highest weight, sick and tired. Pretty much right before I started trying to eat better and exercise more.
- Top middle picture: March 2012. Still in the "overweight" range but safely out of the "obese" range. I remember feeling sexy as fuck but unhappy with my "fitness level".
- Top right picture: April 2013, upon reaching "original goal weight". I was focused on running at that time, had just begun to weigh/plan my food and remember that I was not satisfied with my weight or fitness level. I wish I had been able to feel proud of myself then.
- Bottom left picture: August or September 2013, lowest weight. This pic was taken on a trip to Vegas. I was stressed the whole time (about food) and was trying to hide it because I was afraid to purge, and skipped getting a very important full night of sleep because I was bent on working out in the morning (we were only there for 36 hours). I had two drinks at the show which was enough to blitz me, and had a dizzy/blood sugar crash after the show which turned into a semi-crisis. I was also cold. In Las Vegas, in August. I distinctly remember being decidedly "not happy" so I want this on record in case I start thinking about dropping weight again.
- Bottom right picture: Current. Similar or slightly higher weight than the picture taken last April when I met my "original goal weight". No longer cold all the time, sleeping better, lifting better, although still tired and occasionally binge/restricty/extra workout mode at times. In progress.
I'm hoping putting everything side by side with the feelings/memories can help give me a little perspective. My body has gone through so much change and I need to remember that it doesn't deserve so much bullshit, it's doing the best it can for me, or at least it would if I figure out how to treat it right!
Legitimately doing really well.
I'm still struggling mentally and emotionally in this "breaking up" with counting. Physically, I feel great. The biggest breakthrough for me so far has been de-quantifying my workouts into "I am doing this because it's fun and feels good, and when it becomes unenjoyable I will stop." Sounds simple, like common sense, but it's unbelievably difficult to de-train one's mind from years of calories in / calories out.
Second, there's a paragraph or two from Lesley Kinzel's Two Whole Cakes that's sticking pretty hard with me right now:
"Women in particular are prone to directing their anger at themselves rather than at the pair of jeans that fails to fit both their hips and waist at the same time, as though the jeans' expectations must necessarily prevail over the actual dimensions of the body you've had for your entire life. If the jeans don't fit, it must be your fault. You should change to fit them."
Such a poignant bit of sarcasm that rings too true to something we are conditioned to accept as reality. I own a lot of clothing that doesn't fit right - categorically they might be the right size, but they are quite spectacularly failing to fit my body the right way. Why do I keep them? Do I think that if I can have less chunky calves or narrower hips that they will magically fit me properly? It's time to eject those items from my wardrobe. Even though there are some gorgeous pieces, designer, badass, fierce as fuck rockstar stuff.... they have failed me. I have not failed those clothes. They have failed me.
Food tastes better when you choose it with caring positivity and refuse to turn it into numbers.
"Strong is the new skinny" is bullshit.
Look, I appreciate that female strength is gaining a better appreciation in the mainstream. I, personally, prefer my body to be powerful and capable of moving extremely heavy objects, versus slim and dainty and (as would be in my case if I had a "skinny" body) malnourished.
But when you fitness warriors charge into the blogosphere head-on, touting "Strong is the new skinny!" as the battle flag of your personal revolution, do you have any idea what you're doing? You're simply taking one close-minded, judgmental, often-unattainable societal body ideal and replacing it with another one that differs only in its outward appearance. You mean to say "Strong is good, strong is desirable", but at what cost? In one careless turn of phrase, you have attempted to erase the validity of skinny people. You've taken the offensive cultural value in favor of thin-ness, and simply applied it to "strong" (read: lean, ultra-toned, photogenically muscular young people in Nike gear). You're still proclaiming one particular body type superior to another type. You're still excluding those you have deemed inferior. You're still promoting perceived physical discipline as a way to measure self-worth, and still creating the implication that a body's appearance and ability are also a person's moral traits.
"Strong is the new skinny" is problematic language voicing a latently oppressive concept. It fails in every regard to convey the message that I'd like to believe at least some of you are trying to communicate. "Strong is the new skinny" is not body positive, not intersectional; it is delusional and privileged and just another version of that same mass-media body-shaming wrapped in a shiny ad-emblazoned faux-feminist package. Every person has the unalienable right to own whatever body they choose and/or are naturally inclined to have, and every person has the right to know that the body they live in is priceless. Valuing one narrowly-defined body type over another does nothing but uphold our society's obsession with the concept that a person's body is their worth. A strong body is not worth more than a skinny body, or any other.