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Stupid Sexy Slashers (18+ Only)

@thedeathdoctor / thedeathdoctor.tumblr.com

Writer, Artist, and Thirstposter for Big Stabby Murderers // REQUESTS: Open // ASKS: Open // any pronouns & in my 20s // Main: @tired-and-healing
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Welcome to my Twisted Mind!!

Hi! I’m Audrey! I’m in my 20s, use any pronouns, and am wildly into thirstposting for people who would just destroy me.

This is my side blog for horror and slasher simping, and recently I’ve included Call of Duty and Resident Evil stuff in here too! Mostly I reblog things, but on occasion I post the stuff I create under the tags #my art & #my writing!

Feel free to send in asks and requests for little drabbles! I feel the most comfortable writing for x AFAB readers of any gender and looove writing smut! If I don’t feel comfortable writing something (or most likely feel too ‘stuck’ about it) I’ll try to still reply to the ask for clarification.

Still in the process of figuring out how to organize a blog. I apologize for chaotic and disorganized tags, especially in reblogs, but I am learning!

REQUESTS: Open

6/8/23

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dmitriene

cw: drunk sex.

coming back home to simon absolutely drunk, your legs can barely hold your limp, relaxed body as you stumble through the doorway with the clink of keys and the clatter of your low heels on the parquet floor, trying to make your way through the blurred gaze and floating interior into the dimly lit living room, the walls occasionally flickering with bright flashes from the turned on tv.

simon is here, muscular, beefy body leaning against the headboard of the soft couch, he was waiting for you, the turned on phone is located on the wide handle right to his side, open on messenger with you, where your words about that you will be home soon are clearly printed with black, large font, stubbornly refusing his offer to pick you up from the bar because your girlfriends saw you off, so he stayed waiting obediently, his eased body drowning in the cushions under him.

he didn't expect you to come back not only drunk, but also painfully horny, head snapping aside when simon hears the shuffle of feet, too drowsy to hear you coming back, even through it was loud enough for even your neighbors to hear, as his sleep clogged mind flicks awake quickly, should his lidded, coal eyes meet your gaze, studying, squinted, you eye him up and down like the most delicious candy, a lopsided smile painting over your lips.

it's the shudders that wrack his spine and pierce his wide shoulders that make you giggle, sweet, half hiccuped smile that makes simon huff his own, hoarse with lingering sleep chuckle, helping you to settle down on his bulky lap, heavy, thick hands holding onto your wide hips that hugged by the flimsy fabric of your dress, rubbing a calloused thumb over the bone of your hip, even when your naughty fingers reach for his sweats.

he ain't the one to refuse you when you're the one to take the reins, hastily and messily bunching your dress up enough to expose the view of your underwear, already wet, aching, pulling aside the edge of the fabric of your panties that is already soaked at the front of your pussy, you release his chubby, engorged cock from beneath his pants, letting the girthy length slap against his rippling, toned stomach, your coaxing, gliding touch to the weeping, thick root of his cock makes simon moan out instead of hiss.

simon is louder than you, even through it's his spit soaked fingers that is stuffed in your mouth, drool seeping out and dripping down at the fat, meaty length of his cock that already glistens with his pearly precome and your glistening strings of slick, gushing out from your stretched, stuffed pussy that suctions at him greedily, keeping his girth deep inside with short, aborted buckles of your hips.

you take him while he let's you, watching with lazy, fluttering eyes how you bounce up and down with hiccuping, keening whimpers, calling his name like a siren itching to drown a poor lad, and you almost do, his spasming cock squeezed painfully tight along your pulsing, gummy walls, as he grunts around your digits in time you choke pitched, slurred sounds around his own, rough one's.

main masterlist. quidelines.
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teasing loser!könig as you grind your bare pussy against his thick cock (p!link)

rendered him useless, putty under your body, pre-cum drooling from the tip as his head is thrown back against a pillow. his face is flushed, sweat dripping down his temple and his damp hair sticking to his skin.

he's whimpering mindlessly, panting with his tongue stuck out from his slack jaw, drool dribbling down from his lips. his hands lying either side of his body because he doesn't know what to do with them, doesn't know if he should touch you, if he even has the strength.

his chest is heaving under your hand, steadying you as you drag your sopping cunt, coating his aching, weepy cock in your sweetness, mixing with his sticky pre-cum.

it's a wonder he hasn't cum yet, mind blown and stupid and he's not even buried in your warm pussy, just gliding through your puffy folds.

but that's not to say he lasts more than a minute, whines becoming more incessant, high-pitched before white, creamy releases oozes from the tip of his cock, pearly against his pale skin and shooting across his stomach. it earns a giggle from you, your hand milking him for every last drop.

lick it off his abs and he might just have a heart attack, liebling.

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vicholas

the funniest part of the jason x sex scene post is actually watching jason x and finding out that the sex scene was plot relevant because jason revives at the very same time they were having sex in the room next door and it's implied that jason could sense them having sex while he was cryogenically frozen and it pissed him so much (because he hates sex) that it revived him. if you removed it you would make the movie less funny.

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machveil

Roommate!Simon Riley who’s always got presents on hand for your birthday and holidays. he’s almost embarrassed about stockpiling gifts for you, all neatly tucked in the back of his closet… almost. that nagging embarrassment is quick to fade when your eyes light up, always excited that he bought you something and how, “Simon Riley, you didn’t have to get me anything!”

Roommate!Simon Riley that specifically likes buying you rings. nothing too fancy that would raise your suspicion, but always something shiny and pretty - something he wouldn’t dare tell you how much it cost. silver, gold, anything in between, if he thinks it’d look good on you he buys it. he likes seeing those bands decorate your fingers, reflecting in the light when you happily show them off to friends and family

Roommate!Simon Riley that gets one engraved - his initials delicately printed inside the band. he plays nonchalant, voice even when you notice, “Hm? Engraved is it? Didn’t know.”. you laugh it off, tell him ‘thank you’ before grabbing your phone. he loves when your friends ask you about the jewelry, how you always point to him as the one whose covered you in pretty metals and eye-catching accessories

Roommate!Simon Riley who has a matching ring, your initials engraved on it. snug on his ring finger when he’s at base - pretends it’s a wedding band, that his spouse is waiting for him at home. Simon doesn’t flaunt that ring at home though, not when he can have you tucked against his side. no, Simon doesn’t have that band on ring finger, he slips it on with his dog tags. tucked under shirt, safe and sound on that silver chain as he holds you tightly

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nightunite

Dawg you can't do this to me, I was about to take a nap I can't be yearning to marry this man while I drift off

@beloveds-embrace @itsa-me-lily look what Mach did to me

I love this man so much there arent enough words to describe how much he reminds me of a smug cat here i love it

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lialucis
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Pssst

Hey, are you an artist or writer with WIPs?

Come here... I got a secret for you pssst come ‘ere

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kittmoon

waiting in deep suspense

Psst you ready here comes the secret

Here it comes

I am also very curious about this secret

Your time spent enjoying the creative process is infinitely more valuable that any final project you create. So stop putting yourself down for never finishing or posting those WIPs because every moment you spent creating something you loved is a moment not wasted. Your progress and talent is measured by your passion not your number of posts.

This post went from 3k to 7k overnight and that just goes to show how many of you need to hear this so make sure you don’t ever forget it

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theorist-fox

Can I interest you in some silly sex with Simon? 🧎🏻‍♀️‍➡️

18+

Word count: 1k.

CW: nothing really. Just silly sex. Just giggling sex. Just I-need-to-give-this-man-some-humanity sex. Simon is ticklish and you find out, that's the plot.

𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬

You look delectable straddling his hips.

Naked and soft, plump tits sitting prettily in his hands. His thumbs swipe idly around your perked nipples as you ride him slowly, early morning sun peeking through the curtains and lapping at your skin. What a way to wake up, what a sight.

He stares at your lips and how they part for him—something he still has to get used to, though he probably never truly will. How dulcet does his name sound if it’s your voice whispering it, how beautiful your eyes when they take in his face.

Soft hands are pressed on his chest for leverage, and you’re treating him with a view he keeps pinned to the forefront of his brain—gliding your cunt until you’re chock-full of him, stroking yourself until you’re shivering.

He likes it when he’s on top, sure. He’s used to taking the lead and orchestrating every detail, in and out of the job. 

But when you allow him to sit back and take it? Hell, sign him up. He’d do it every day. Especially when it’s this lazy sex here, in which you’re canting your hips to cum before he does, giving him the blissful chance of feeling you clench around him when he's still hard. 

Goosebumps rise under your nails as they graze down his chest and brush his stomach. Your hands wander blindly on his belly, then his sides, as you clock his eyes with your heavy ones, panting softly, idly—my beautiful, beautiful girl.

But then you inadvertently brush his ribs, and he stiffens—even squirms, and your movements come to a halt.

You blink as conscience returns to you slowly, and the room sinks into tense silence. His cock twitches inside of you when you tilt your head inquisitively, squinting your eyes.

Experimentally, you brush your fingertips against his ribs again, and his biceps flatten to his sides, trapping your hands.

Your eyes widen, and his do the same.

“Don’t.”

You gasp, “Oh my God.”

“Darling, no.” He warns, but you’ve clearly made up your mind already.

Your lips are curled in a smile that promises mischief, and he can only give up, sit back, and count his losses.

“Darling, yes.”

Simon feels your fingers wiggle under the tight press of his arms, but no matter his strength, they're seemingly useless against that playful resolve you're displaying.

His cock is still embarrassingly hard inside you, and Simon reckons it won't soften any time soon. You don’t seem eager to get off him either, thus prolonging the torture with each tiny movement you make.

He inhales sharply and fights tooth and nail to school his expression into neutrality. His eyes are narrowed, and his jaw is locked tight. The only thing giving him away is the flush of his cheeks, getting pinker by the second because he refuses to open his mouth to breathe a much-needed lungful of air. Knowing that if he would, he'd bark a laugh that would proclaim you as the winner of this fight.

He would never.

You roll your hips, then—cheap trick. He unravels with a shaky breath, and his biceps give out enough for you to slip your hands away.

And then, he knows he's done for.

“Cut it out.” He barks, trying to sound stern and miserably failing. He knows because you're laughing even harder.

Your fingers feel like tiny bugs crawling up his sides, and they make his breath catch in his throat.

“Never.” You say, with a grin that scrunches your nose. A smile that would normally make his heart throb, but right now just makes him wish he were a lesser man so he could throttle you.

“Fuckin’-“

You chuckle.

You evil little cunt.

Resistance lasts a few more seconds before he bursts.

It’s not a full laugh that leaves him; more of a wheeze that makes you chortle like a wicked witch. His chest heaves as your fingers frantically tickle his sides. Tries to get you off him by shaking his hips, but that only makes the two of you falter and moan, and then chuckle and catch your breaths.

His shoulders shake in a breathless, choking laugh that pitches upward as you continue with your assault (yes, assault—he is not being dramatic), eyes veiled with tears of frustration and mirth. He shrieks when your hands travel under his armpits—the sound makes you giggle in a way that would have him melt. 

“That laugh’s lovely, baby.” You say with a smarmy grin he wishes he could wipe with a kiss, hands unrelenting against his sides. “Sound like a kettle whistling.”

He tries to glower and push you off, but you’re surprisingly strong when you’re focused. Right now, your only goal is to apparently make him hate you—he'd rather be held at gunpoint than being forced to hold in a laugh that makes his stomach hurt.

Simon now looks shockingly harmless, with his cheeks flushed bright red and his voice an octave too high—wouldn't look dangerous if he tried.

“Tea ready, yet?” You add, batting your lashes, because why not rub salt into the already embarrassing wound marring his pride.

It’s that unfathomably stupid joke that finally makes Simon crack. He barks out a laugh that bubbles up his throat, rippling through his stomach so suddenly that you bounce above him. Your own laugh follows soon after, because each time you manage to steal one from him, your heart vibrates with loving triumph.

But still—he is Simon Riley, isn’t he? Member of Task Force 141. Lieutenant in the UK Special Forces, SAS. The Ghost. There is some pride in there, one he'd like to keep intact.

He tries to recollect his breath, sniffling, and his arms shoot out to wrap around your waist. He rolls onto his side, taking you with him.

It’s then that you find yourself in a position of utter disadvantage, on your back with your big brute of a boyfriend holding you down. You’re wide-eyed and still smiling with barely contained giggles, and he’d be lying if he said it doesn't make his heart soar.

Sure, he’s panting, still proper flushed and apple-cheeked, with shivers wrecking his spine and unshed tears in his eyes—but he takes great pride in having won yet another fight (again, not overreacting at all, if you ask him).

He grabs your wrists and pins them above your head.

You fix him with a look. “Simon, no.”

Before you can add more to your complaint, he rams his cock into you until your chest stutters, your lips mouthing around a shaky breath he drinks dry with a wet kiss.

He fucks you into the mattress, then—once, twice, until the remnants of laughter vanish from your face and you’re trembling in bliss, eyes rolled back under heavy eyelids.

He places a sloppy kiss down to your collarbone.

“Simon, yes.

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Older boyfriend Price who is absolutely DISTRAUGHT over the fact that you don’t care about marriage because you think he’s over it.
Note: this one has no smut but it has mentions of sex and sexual relations so interact at your own discretion. Reader is in mid twenties.
Masterlist

“What the fuck do you mean by you don’t want to?” If Price had been any louder, anyone outside his car would’ve been able to hear him.

It had been a few months into your relationship with Price after almost a year of being friends with benefits. You weren’t sure how your arrangement changed over time but you were glad to be with him as he valued you a lot.

“I mean, think about it. You’re like, what? 40-“

“I’m 37, love”

“Right, yeah, I just think that it doesn’t really matter as long as we’re having fun together. Honestly, I thought you’d agree.” You said before taking a bite out of your burger.

Price could only watch you in shock. Sure, your relationship started on the basis of sexual benefits but when he did think of the future all he thought of was you. Even if you were a generation younger than him, he had never felt such synergy with anyone before. It was a connection of a lifetime - emotional and sexual.

“So you don’t give a shit about marriage because you think I don’t care about it.”

“Kind of. If I’m gonna get married I need my partner to be on board too, don’t you think?” He sighed at your reply. You looked up at him, confused and cheeks full with your dinner as you grabbed the plastic cup of coke.

His heart swelled at the sight. It was like looking at an innocent chipmunk. To think that the same face looked fucked out an hour ago awed him but he couldn’t let himself get distracted by your unintentional seduction.

He grabbed your drink and put it back in the cupholder. You were about to whine but he grabbed your face and pulled you close, noses almost touching.

“You-“ peck “-are the most wonderful thing to happen to me and I’ll be damned if I don’t tie you down with me in the future.”

Your face heated up. You had swallowed your food not too long ago but your mouth felt like it had gone dry.

With your face in his hands he continued. “I’ll have a rock on your pretty little finger before you know it.” He left a longer peck on your lips this time and pulled away.

What you didn’t know was that he already had a ring for you. It was stored away in a hidden drawer in his desk, waiting to be worn by you.

In fact, he had brought it just a month into your relationship. He wasn’t religious but he knew that a person like you was the blessing of a lifetime.

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anhed-nia

NEXT WEEK on 11/19, The Miskatonic Institute of Horror Studies has an online class I am especially pleased to host! Dr. Anne Young explores the largely unsung legacy of Daria Nicolodi, and discusses the negating effect of male auteur worship on women's creative work. For years there has been a sort of floating awareness that Nicolodi was much more than "Argento's muse" but it is still rare that anyone digs into this topic in serious detail. Don't miss your chance to learn about Daria Nicolodi's contributions to Italian horror cinema, the devaluation of women's labor in general, and the possibilities for reclamation.

I am VERY PUMPED FOR THIS if you cannot tell!

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reblogged

Sometimes aftercare with Simon looks like-

Gasping for breath as you feel him grab onto you. The sudden release of air from your lungs almost sending you into a coughing fit when he decides to trap you under him.

"Si- Si- you're fucking heavy-"

"I know, I know", and he'll lighten up just enough for you to breathe comfortably. Opting to cuddle at your side while your chest and leg get covered by his limbs. You'll grab his hand and he'll press it down into the mattress as he has done mere moments ago.

"Don't leave", is all he says when you start to question him. A begging edge to his words when he hides his eyes into the corner of your jaw. Scarred and split lips that kiss and pray, a miracle thats arrived. Greedy enough to keep it.

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