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#asoiaf – @thedaughterofkings on Tumblr
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Mellon

@thedaughterofkings / thedaughterofkings.tumblr.com

Lessa, She/Her This is one big mess of fandoms, with Merlin and Teen Wolf being the main fandoms right now. My fics can be found here.
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asoiaf characters who could hack it as a starbucks barista:

— jon. runs that shit like the navy. schedules five minute scream-cry sessions for himself in the supply closet but everyone pretends not to notice bc it kinda seems like its working for him. keeps accidentally charming the regulars

— arya. only ever works closing shift bc if you put her on morning/lunch rush she yells at customers. cleans like a crazy person and leaves the place spotless. WILL put a nick in your car’s tire valve with a box opener if you make her count the till

— loras. makes GREAT coffee and can smooth things over with irate middle aged women very easily. however if ur gay avoid his location bc he cannot stop himself from being catty its in his BLOOD. also:

— dany. hits her (painstakingly decorated) dab pen in her car before work so she’s very zen. however she Is the coworker you sic on asshole customers bc she’s very good at making them feel stupid and also never caves and gives out free drinks

asoiaf characters who could NOT hack it as a starbucks barista:

— sansa. is the aforementioned caver. always turning up the heat because she’s cold even though literally everyone else is sweating like pigs. stayed on a couple months because it turns out mean customers calm down when she starts to cry #prettygirlhack but eventually quits because she hates cleaning the bathroom

— theon. uniquely bad at his job. writes his number on every other cup he hands out even to people wearing wedding bands or ACTIVELY WITH THEIR PARTNER IN THE STORE (has been beaten up like four times doing this). never ties off the garbage correctly. uses too much water when he mops and has slipped in it and twisted his ankle multiple times. is a soundcloud rapper and is always trying to get the manager to play his music in the store

— robb. nobody wants to fire him because hes genuinely a great guy but he takes eighty million years to make one drink and he’s always comping shit for his girlfriend who comes in all the time

— jojen reed. okay at the job but is always saying ominous shit to customers and is passive aggressive to whoever closed the previous night no matter how good of a job they did. quit because someone else got fired for showing up to work high and he didnt want to be next

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15-lizards

Do you guys think that as time passes Robb’s story gets turned into a folk tale…a cautionary story for children…a story rooted in truth but the real details are lost. A boy king marches south looking for justice for his good father but gets betrayed by the people he trusted too much…he gets turned into a beast, half boy and half wolf, forgetting who he is and living among the forest. The riverlanders say that you can hear the wolf king howl when you’ve been lied to, and that he scavenges the woods, pouncing on liars and betrayers. And his mother, so mad with grief, stalks riverbanks at nights, her face torn to bloody ribbons, attacking similar victims, but preferring the ones with blonde hair. Little children hear scary tales of Lady Stoneheart and the Wolf King and are too frightened to ever tell a lie. Men sit in taverns, singing sad drinking songs about a mother and child draped in tragedy. Girls sit about with their needlework, sighing at the true love the Wolf King died for, his fair queen who he put above all others, even himself. Robb Stark is betrayed, and this is true. But time twists the truth. Truth fades into story fades into legend. And he is forgotten, nothing more than a symbol in an old tale.

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THIS ARTICLE IS FANTASTIC

It puts GRRM’s grimness in context. It breaks down why Season 8 is so off-the-rails for Game of Thrones fans.

It also explains the appeal of dystopian/post-apocalyptic media - seeing a whole system impacting individuals.

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someone: do you watch game of thrones?

me: not for years, but I have an exquisitely plotted story in my head about how Sansa Stark serves as lady of winterfell and falls in love with another northern lady but she doesn’t realize it’s Love Love because she’s just like “what very good friends we are :)” and the other woman is really good at resource management and where to put latrines so people don’t get sick, and they work together and are best friends and maybe more?? Yes, more. It’s a fifteen episode miniseries about rebuilding after war, peacetime governance, and gentle gay love, sexuality, and trust. I have the camera angles all planned out. Arya is there, and she has twelve direwolves puppies that cause mischief. At some point, the whole north is like “There Must Always Be A Stark In Winterfell And It’s Fine If She’s A Lesbian” 

someone: can you pass the salt?

me: Episode Three starts with Sansa standing by her window, watching a pack of giggling small children have a snowball fight. She looks cold, austere. She watches Arya fucking pile-drive a six year old into a snow bank. Sansa’s lip quirks. She is Healing. The plot of this episode is dealing with mice in the grain supplies. Sophie Turner is nominated for seven emmys in one season. 

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someone: do you watch game of thrones?

me: not for years, but I have an exquisitely plotted story in my head about how Sansa Stark serves as lady of winterfell and falls in love with another northern lady but she doesn’t realize it’s Love Love because she’s just like “what very good friends we are :)” and the other woman is really good at resource management and where to put latrines so people don’t get sick, and they work together and are best friends and maybe more?? Yes, more. It’s a fifteen episode miniseries about rebuilding after war, peacetime governance, and gentle gay love, sexuality, and trust. I have the camera angles all planned out. Arya is there, and she has twelve direwolves puppies that cause mischief. At some point, the whole north is like “There Must Always Be A Stark In Winterfell And It’s Fine If She’s A Lesbian” 

someone: can you pass the salt?

me: Episode Three starts with Sansa standing by her window, watching a pack of giggling small children have a snowball fight. She looks cold, austere. She watches Arya fucking pile-drive a six year old into a snow bank. Sansa’s lip quirks. She is Healing. The plot of this episode is dealing with mice in the grain supplies. Sophie Turner is nominated for seven emmys in one season. 

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lady sansa stark of winterfell did not win the battle of the bastards, reuinte the entire north, watch her father and brother be murdered, survive two sadistic abusers, keep the northern people warm and fed for the winter, manipulate & outplay a master manipulator, rule winterfell by herself as a teenager, and kill two of everyones least fave characters just for ya’ll to dislike her for not wielding a sword

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beachdeath

the best way to watch game of thrones is to not watch it at all and then be really happy when you see gifs of the female characters doing cool things like aww arya and sansa i haven’t directly consumed any media with you in it since i read a storm of swords back in 2013 but i’m glad to see y’all are killing baelish i love you and would die for you keep up the good work

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George R.R. Martin is ruthless - every death in the Game of Thrones series is tabbed

im not even in the GOT fandom but how the fuck are any of you still breathing

Our motto is ‘don’t get attached they probably die’

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lenoirauteur

jesus

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marguerite26

he died too, but it was a different book.

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