Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel corporate AU:
Wrote this AU with some friends last night and it was too good not to share publically:
Hell is replaced with a massive afterlife based corporation called 'Hell Inc' that handles the production, distribution, and management of all the various types of evil in the world; while also acting as the largest employeer of damned souls in existence and a direct competitor to Heaven LLC.
The company is headed by it's Chief Pride Officer and founder, Lucifer Morningstar, beneath him is the company's Vice President Charlie Morningstar after the former VP retired and disappeared under odd circumstances. Charlie has been trying (and failing) to get the company in some semblance of order and addressing the horrible working conditions that arose as a result of her father's near endless apathy and depression stemming from a millennia of accumulated burnout.
Below them are the six members of Hell inc's board of directors who run the various company departments:
- Mammon, Chief Greed Officer (CGRO) and head of the greed department. Which manages the company finances as well as several financial institutions on earth like Banks and Casinos
- Beelzebub, Chief Gluttony Officer (CGLO) and head of the gluttony department. They run Hell Inc's marketing campaigns and manages several fast food chains in the human world such as Bee Burger
- Asmodeus, Chief Lust Officer (CLO) and head of the lust department. They run Hell inc's production lines in the underworld and various media conglomerates on earth.
- Satan, Chief Wrath Officer (CWO) and head of the wrath department. Which handles all security related matters along with war and conflict in the human world, primarily arms manufacturers
- Leviathan, Chief Envy Officer (CEO) and head of the Envy department. Which runs Hell Inc's research and development and various construction ventures on earth
- And Belphagor, Chief Sloth Officer (CSO) and head of the Sloth department. Which is in charge of all health related company matters along with various hospitals and insurance companies on earth.
Each has their own unique management problems and while they once worked in tandem, which has resulted in a slough of issues from a lack of individual oversight. Such as Greed's severe budget cuts, Envy's ridiculously long working hours coupled with high standards, and employees in Wrath that spend more time arguing than getting things done.
Beneath them are the middle managers, the Ars Goetia, but they're among some of the most useless members of the company. Holding nothing more than figurehead positions to create the illusion of a centralized hierarchy when in reality they just pass their work onto the various supervisors within each department. Recent hire Stella is particularly bad in this way as the only reason she has the position at all was due to the nepotism provided by her brother Andrephelus who works alongside her in the Envy department.
(the only exception is Lust's middle manager Stolas)
Then we have the supervisors, the actual managers of the department divisions who occupy the role of authority figure that the Ars Goetia fail to fill themselves. Notable supervisors include:
- Crimson Knolastname: Greed department supervisor overseeing most organized crime with a focus on blackmail activities
- Wally Wackford: Greed department supervisor in charge of scams and white collar crimes.
- Verosika Mayday: Lust department supervisor and PR manager for the department
- Fizzarolli: originally an intern in greed, he was later transferred over to Lust and supervises the roleplay and costume divisions of the lust department
- Vortex: the primary event coordinator for the Gluttony department along with new employee orientation
- Striker: Wrath department supervisor, handling any and all matters relating to mercenary work and assassinations
- Joe and Lin: Wrath department supervisors, the former managing the hand to hand combat division while the latter runs the in house medical center and trains all Wrath Department employees in battlefield aid.
And last but not least are all the rank and file employees that makeup Hell inc's primary workforce. They're usually sorted by species: Baphomets work for the Sloth Department, Imps work for the Wrath department, Succubi and Incubi work for the Lust department, etc. However this is only for their initial probational period, if their skills prove to be more suitable elsewhere in the company then can be transferred into another department.
With one exception: Pride. The department in charge of processing all damned souls at the time of death and general evil relations in the human world
The Pride department is the largest and most chaotic of all of Hell Inc's departments, it's facing an ever increasing workload that it struggles to manage and even with the steady flow of Sinners rolling in to fill vacancies the department is constantly short staffed. So not only are sinners forbidden from being transferred to other departments, but any hellborn that get transferred in Never. Ever. Leave. Getting assigned to the Pride Department is basically a life sentence and it doesn't help that the department itself has basically gained a reputation as a dumping ground for misfit employees that can't properly function in any other department.
To make matters worse, while the other departments have some level of rules and standards when it comes to employee conduct. The Pride Department is left in almost total disarray thanks to every supervisor in the department being blood thirsty corporate climbers who are constantly screwing one another over to gain more recognition in the overall company. The supervisors affectionately nicknamed the Vees: Velvette (social media manager), Vox (IT supervisor), and Valentino (employee recruitment manager) are the absolute worst when it comes to this backstabbing.
However, the biggest problem facing the Pride department is none other than the man eaters in the Demon Resources division. Ran by two supervisors known as Rosie and Alastor, the former handling employee disputes while the later is in charge of terminating employee contracts...and employees. If you get called into Alastor's office, that's usually the last anyone hears of you. The rest of HR isn't much better either as they all tend to be of a similar temperament to their supervisors.
But for all it's mess, VP Charlie genuinely believes she can clean up the company one department at a time; starting with the Pride Department. With the backing of both her father and the HR rep Alastor, she's assembled a solid team of employees willing to help her with the task.
And by that I mean employees that were voluntold to help her:
- Husk, former supervisor in charge of managing Hell inc's gambling holdings that had been partially outsourced from Greed's own workers. Alastor had personally handled his demotion after it was found the cat demon had been skimming off the top.
- Vaggie, the head of the security division of the Pride Department and Charlie's girlfriend. The rumors of her rise to power via nepotism are matched only by the rumors that she transferred in from Hell inc's rival company, Heaven LLC
- Angel, a rank and file employee of pride with no particular specialization who's working directly under Val. He claims he's only on board with Charlie's plan in hopes of getting a promotion, but it's rather obvious he really just wants to get away from his current boss by any means necessary
- Sir Pentious, part of the R&D team and widely considered to be one of the worst researchers in the entire company due to the numerous cases of collateral damage he's caused. Charlie's project is not only his last chance to avoid getting a pink slip for both his job and his life, but also to get the professional recognition he so desperately craves
- Niffty, once a member of the janitorial team. Nobody knows where she came from or how long she's been working her, only that she's some what of an oddity even by Hell inc standards. The only thing that's certain about her is that she's an employee you should give a wide berth to if you value your personal safety
Meanwhile in the Pride department, a small little clique has formed of low level demons that have transferred in from other departments and work in the revenge division:
- Blitzo, the supervisor of the division who's quite skilled at falling upwards. He is completely and utterly incompetent at his job, choosing instead to slack off with the toy ponies he spends his salary on or flirt/sexually harass his coworkers rather than actually performing any administrative duties. The only reason he still has his job is likely due to a 'friend' he has in middle management that keeps covering for him.
- Moxxie, an accounting intern that transferred in from greed after a disastrous project with now ex-employee Chaz that resulted in massive losses for the greed department, causing Mammon to dump the 'useless' imp into the Pride department. Usually the one doing Blitzo's job for him, very begrudgingly I might add, and frequently grumbles about his station but secretly enjoys the group he's found. Especially his wife...
- Millie, a security guard transferred from Wrath after several complaints in regards to 'excessive force' were leveled against her. Luckily she's adjusted quite well to her new position in the Pride Department even if she tends to drift under the radar more often than not, but she remains optimistic that she'll get a worthwhile promotion someday. In the meantime, she makes use of her spare time tending to her weapon collection or having sexual encounters with her husband around the office; away from most prying eyes
- Loona, one of Hell inc's newest hires. Originally slated to be an intern in the Gluttony department, her attitude problems forced Beelzebub to personally see to it that the hound was relocated to a position in the Pride Department for both her own safety and that of her coworkers. Takes after her supervisors slacker tendencies in an apathetic way, spending practically every waking moment glued to her phone, much to Moxxie's frustration.
And that's the lot of the company! We hope you enjoy your stay at Hell Inc! Remember: Today is the first day of your eternal life....
(P.S. you didn't hear this from me, but rumor has it that Heaven LLC has been experiencing plenty of problems of it's own. Such as poor leadership, communication issues, and nepotism even worse than anything seen at Hell Inc. And there's even a few sources that claim that former VP Lilith was seen on their board of directors, but you know how people like to talk.)
#helluva boss#hazbin hotel#moxxie#blitzo#millie#loona#stolas#stolas ars goetia#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss blitzo#helluva boss moxxie#helluva boss loona#helluva boss millie#asmodeus#helluva boss asmodeus#helluva boss verosika#verosika#verosika mayday#mammon#helluva boss mammon#helluva boss beelzebub#queen beelzebub#lucifer#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#charlie#charlie morningstar#hazbin hotel charlie#crimson#helluva boss crimson
To all the people who complain about Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel designs not being 'biblically accurate'. If you have a problem with these designs:
But see nothing wrong with these designs:
Then you're not a critic, you're just a massive hypocrite.
#helluva boss#helltaker#asmodeus#helluva boss asmodeus#helltaker asmodeus#beelzebub#queen beelzebub#helluva boss beelzebub#helltaker beelzebub#lucifer#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#helltaker lucifer#venting#vent post#I mean really guys 'Biblically accurate' is the dumbest nitpick I've ever seen in my life.
Got all my Helluva Boss posters set up in my living room!
Another chapter of Moxxie Morningstar for you all!
Little Maxxie gets kidnapped by his uncle Ozzie
Got my latest Helluva Boss merch drop in the mail today!
Spread the word, we need to get Helluva Boss and/or Hazbin Hotel on here.
So how about that season 8 sneak peek and season 2 trailer for Helluva Boss vivziepop just posted on her patreon huh?
(If you haven’t seen it, go watch it IMMEDIATELY. Trust me, it’s worth the five bucks.)
helluva boss headcanon:
Not only is Fizzarolli Asmodeus’ top performer, but he also acts as the stage manager for his boss/boyfriend’s club and takes the job VERY seriously. On stage it’s all fun and pleasure, but behind the curtains the jester is all business.