"IT'S PERFORMANCE O'CLOCK!"
- my lead right before our 7 am livestream show when asked what time it was (our call time was 5:30 am)
"You can't come in that way, that's the ocean!!"
- director to one of my actors
"You're not a Hufflepuff, you're a bully."
-- one actor to another
Me: Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, sir?
Cast Member: I am God.
"Jeremy Jordan could play a 92 year old woman and I'd be like, 'Grandma?!'"
-- me, after a long day of tech
"Keep it, it's on the house."
-- one of my cast members after giving our music director a pencil
"Oh for a hot second I wasn't sure if you were supporting me for being a slut or telling me to slate."
-- cast member
"Oh you like Shakespeare, do you? Name five of his plays."
-- a precious cast member