- everyone hates carpets. no one wants their feet to be comfortable. no one wants them to be warm. no one wants to be able to lounge on the floor. they all want to throw their back out on hardwood.
- everyone hates walls. i thought that houses having walls was normal, but everyone wants the only walls to be around the bathrooms and the bed rooms. children cannot leave your sight or they will be sucked into oblivion. you need to be able to see through the entire house and into hell.
- people demand double vanities. when you’re a couple, apparently you have to use the bathroom in tandem. you get shackled together and you’re brushing your teeth at the same time, there are no other options available so you NEED two sinks.
- showers must be separate from the tub. not counting people with disabilities and the elderly, i don’t understand why people can’t stand in a tub and take a shower. my whole life i thought tub showers were normal but apparently they are for peasants who don’t deserve to do cartwheels in their 10 by 10 shower stall.
- people don’t have kitchen tables, they have islands. they need them for cooking prep, which is impossible to do at a table. they also need them to eat at in absurdly tall stools, despite the fact that the breakfast nook is 10 feet away and the dining room table is 15 feet away through their open floor plan.
- stainless steel appliances are the powerhouse of the home.
