#incorrect quotes – @thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends on Tumblr

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Tim: Truth or dare?

Dick: Truth.

Tim: Okay. How many teeth do you have?

Dick: A lot.

Tim: [cracks up]

Dick: What?! Do you know how many teeth you have?!

Tim: [laughing still] Yeah, 32!

Dick:

Dick: Nah, that seems low.

Tim: [cracks up again]

Dick: Gotta be at least 33.

#batfam #batman #bat family #dc comics #the bat fam as quotes from my friends #the batfam as quotes from my friends #bat fam #robin #batfamily #dick grayson #nightwing #thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends #tim drake #red robin #incorrect quotes

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Jason: Do any of you guys know someone named Norm? I wanna know a norm.

Damian: No.

Tim: Nah.

Jason: I wanna meet a norm.

Tim: Wait - did you say Jamal?

Jason: WHAT?

Damian: How did you hear Jamal from Norm?

Tim: I don’t know!

Dick: When I was a kid my aunt dated a guy named Norm for awhile. I remember distinctly because I got in trouble from my mom because I said that he looked like the ring leader of a carnival.

Jason:

Dick: She said I can’t tell anyone, but that it was very funny.

Jason:

Tim:

Damian:

Dick: Huh. I didn’t realize I had repressed that memory.

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

[Opening up a stuffed pita]

Tim: Oh my goodness it’s like a giant uncrustable

Stephanie: Yeah that’s a pita, buddy!

Damian: What white people pita have you been eating?

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Jason: (Drunk) Do you wanna watch the Book Thief?

Dick: (Also drunk) I wanna watch icarly

#batfam #batman #bat family #dc comics #the bat fam as quotes from my friends #the batfam as quotes from my friends #bat fam #robin #batfamily #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends #notaquote #incorrect quotes

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Jason: *leaves, already drunk, to buy more alcohol*

Jason: *returns from buying more alcohol* I HAVE NEWS. They were doing a wine tasting at the store… so I’ve had much. They kept giving me wine, and I kept taking it, and it was so good, so *looks at Dick* DO YOU WANT TO TRY THE WINE?

Dick: *also drunk* YES, I’LL TRY SOME RIGHT NOW

Damian: *Watching in horror…*

#batfam #batman #bat family #dc comics #the bat fam as quotes from my friends #dick grayson #jason todd #nightwing #red hood #damian wayne #robin #bat fam #batman and robin #thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends #incorrect quotes

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Barbara: Yeah but Mike Love is a conservative and it’s like he’s ONE beach boy he isn’t THE beach boys.

Stephanie: Mike Love is such a porn star name.

Jason: Not in the 60’s it was probably a good stage name then.

Barbara: Michael Love is better than Mike Love.

Tim: His last name would be better as Hawk.

Jason: Mike Hawk (sounding like “my cock”).

Jason: I’ll fucking kill you.

(Barbara and Stephanie cackling in the background)

Jason: Can’t believe I fell for that.

#incorrect quotes #batfam #batgirl #the batfamily #Bruce Wayne #thebatfamasquotesfrommtfriends #Batman #oracle #barbara gordon #stephanie brown #jason Todd #tim drake #Timothy drake #red hood #Red Robin #robin

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Damian: Todd, what are you doing?

Jason: Creating an essence project.

Damian:... what?

Jason: Do you want to come stick your hand in?

Damian: No.

Dick: *from the other room* I’LL STICK MY HAND IN!

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Dick: I just think it's really interesting that I don't see you for two weeks, and now you're slut-shaming me.

Jason:

Jason: Dick, let's get something straight: I have been slut-shaming you for much longer than that.

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Dick: Y'know, I wish we could just Hannah Montana transition out of the Coronavirus.

Jason: Honestly?

Jason: I've never related to anything more in my life.

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Stephanie: I’ll say it. I’m gonna say it.

Barbara: What?

Stephanie: If Dick was a Jane Austen character he would be Frank Churchill.

Barbara: You know what...

Barbara: Yeah.

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Damian: Maybe tonight’s the night we finally beat the shit out of someone-

Jason: Damian, are you crying??

Tim: *walks across the platform to observe rats walking along the subway tracks*

Dick: *watching worriedly*

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

[Clip of Trump talking on SNL]

Jason: Oh, my God, his voice is getting worse.

Jason: [smiling] Please die.

Dick: No. I want him to live and permanently lose his voice.

Dick: Because we all know that's what he loves most in the world. Listening to himself speak.

Dick: And then, once he loses what he loves most... then he can die.

Jason:

Jason: Y'know, sometimes, I'm like... 'hey, this person should die'. And then you go... 'no, this person should live, and suffer'.

Dick: [laughing]

Jason: Like we all think my mind's dark. But your mind truly terrifies me.

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Dick: I always keep that motherfucking thang on me.

Dick: And that motherfucking thang is a positive attitude and a smile.

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

[Dick and Tim playing an intense video game together, watching the climax of a scary cut scene.]

Dick: [pauses the game]

Dick: I'm gonna go get water. I'm so thirsty.

Tim: NOW?!

Dick: [from the other room] I'm sorry!

Tim: NOW WAS THE OPTIMAL TIME, DICK?

Dick: [from the other room] I'm just thirsty!

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

[Jason and Dick walking down the street, see Tim coming towards them.]

Jason: Oh, shit.

Jason: Act like we don't see him.

[Dick is already doing finger guns at him.]

Jason: No, no.

[Dick continues doing finger guns.]

Jason: Dick, please.

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Dick: [standing up in a fury] Oh, my God, I have to pee again!

Tim: [laughing]

Dick: [from the other room] I HATE BEING HYDRATED!

thebatfamasquotesfrommyfriends

Dick: Make an intelligence check for me.

[Jason frantically grabs his character sheet.]

Jason: Where is---I don't---

Jason: Why is there no intelligence here!

[Damian looks immediately to Dick.]