lonely human with a lot of plants and books

( <= green bean

( <= chili pepper

. <= blueberry

=3 <= broccoli

● <= orange

. <= pea

• <= plum

<3< <= strawberry

<==}< <= carrot

~<O{ <= beetroot

°o8~ <= grapes

Ó <= apple

88- <= raspberry

c'ɔ <= bell pepper

cc’ɔɔ <= pumpkin

-8 <= cherries

☆{ } <= pineapple

¶\__________ <= garden hose (to water all the plants)

alright everyone good work gardening today. Let's all head inside and get some lemonade now

My kind of comedy

[remake of this set]

you know what you shouldnt do? constantly tell your child how expensive they are to take care of. because eventually, that child gets scared of asking for money, and doesnt feed themself at school, doesnt go places with their friends that require money, because she doesnt want to be expensive. it really does get into their minds, that theyre too much money and that they shouldnt do anything.

ao3 turns 15 today

reblog if youre older than ao3

idk why people get super pedantic about the movie logic in Home Alone and start and try to pick it apart, because like, its a Christmas movie about a child accidentally being left home alone, the premise isn't exactly asking us to suspend our disbelief that much, and yet nearly every single "gotcha" question I see people bring up about this film is literally answered within the first 15 minutes :/

"seriously how did no one in the family not realize Kevin wasn't there?" everyone was rushing so they wouldn't miss the flight but also every other single contingency measure in place became useless: Kevin wasn't supposed to be alone that night but they moved his cousin to a different bed, Kevin's passport was accidentally thrown away by his dad the night before, the neighbor boy threw off the older cousin's head count so she ended up with the "correct" number of kids before they left the house, they dropped the plane tickets at the terminal, the parents sat in a different class than the kids on the plane

"why didn't Kevin go to the police, the neighbors, etc" his neighbors are also on vacation, the phone lines are down, and if seeing the weird guy stalking his house several days earlier as a police officer wasn't enough to make him suspicious of the cops, he also literally thinks he made his family disappear. like magically, supernaturally, willed them out of existence. and he's eight, so

also he accidentally stole a toothbrush from the store and when you're eight years old that means the police are going to put you in jail forever

Remembering the time in high school there was a repeat visit from a 'motivational speaker'.

He starts off with "Are we having a good time?!" Gets a scattered, desultory mumble back.

So he goes, "I couldn't hear you! Louder! ARE WE HAVING A GOOD TIME!?!"

Nothing.

Silence.

Someone coughs.

He waits, an INCEREDIBLY long time, just staring at this bunch of kids who REALLY didn't want to be there, and who didn't want to have anything to do with him.

And then the only thing that could save the situation happens. The construction crew across the street punctured the gas main (for the fourth time in three weeks), the evacuation alarm goes off, and the whole student body saunters off into the oval.

No, those were explosives the guy had set up, for this exact possibility.

Remember, kids: always have an exit strategy.

[ID 1: Undated tweet by @ jackbern23 that reads: Just FYI if a DJ or children's entertainer tells you to "make some noise", never make the most amount of noise you can the first time, because chances are they'll tell you that they can't hear you and you'll have to make even more noise

ID 2: Tag that reads: #this reads like incredibly tired advice from a 9 year old to a 7 year old /End description]

I love that this implies that the person with that sticker both

a) lives in a conservative part of America

b) knows that none of their local Trump supporters are going to look up the verse

2013-2015 Honda Accord

one of the worst feelings in fandom is when the canon version of a character is one of your favorites ever but their fanon interpretation is just something you want to dropkick into a dying star and watch it all go supernova hopefully from close enough that it will obliterate you and your memory of what the fandom did to them in the process

Taylor Swift performing "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived" in Warsaw, night 2

Timeless is literally the most Taylor Swift song ever written. Projecting a current romance onto old people and fictional stories? ✔️ Believing you're destined by fate to be together in every timeline? ✔️ Reference to forbidden love? ✔️ Emotional bridge that culminates in the story honing back in on the narrator? ✔️ Ending line that returns to the beginning? ✔️ Eyes meeting in a crowded room? ✔️ Love letters? Antique shop? Old photographs? Teenage love? Arranged marriage? ✔️✔️✔️✔️✔️