your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

“Wouldn’t it be funny if this night was last time we ever talked to each other?”

Back in the ‘90s, I was in a very famouse TV show♪

horror icons as Troubled Birds

Bubba Sawyer:

Freddy Krueger:

It:

Chucky:

Michael Myers:

Jeepers Creepers:

Jason:

Carrie White:

Billy & Stu/Ghostface:

Brahms(the boy):

POV: its December 24, 2019. You walk into my room and see this.

Ready or Not (2019) dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett

# grown siblings fighting over tamagotchis

Just once I want a character to go, “Well, it could be worse. It could be raining.”

And then another character goes, “You’re right. It would be worse if it was raining.” And it doesn’t start raining.

Ah, hello seasonal depressive disorder. I didn’t miss you at all.

my muse has been entirely dominated by Claire Saffitz from bon appetit help