the-open-future reblogged
Literally anyone meeting Shepard: hey! You're commander Shepard! The one who's whole entire squad DIED on Akuze! Man it's so cool that you're the ONLY ONE who survived that huge tragedy!
Shepard: haha yeah thanks for bringing up that incredibly traumatic incident as casually as you'd bring up the weather. My entire colony was destroyed and my whole family was murdered when I was a kid, wanna bring that up too?
And then Miranda and Jacob make sure to do both on that shuttle ride after escaping the Lazarus Research Station in ME2!
Jacob: Records show you were a colony kid, lost your parents when the slavers hit Mindoir. You enlisted, and you survived a thresher maw attack that wiped out the rest of your team.
Shepard: The Illusive Man's stinking team entrapped them. And thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it?
#colonist shepard#sole survivor shepard#that conversation cracks me up#because miranda is like ask her all the questions! we have to make sure her personality and memories are intact!#and jacob is like i dunno but okay fine i'll ask the questions#like hey shep do u remember those major traumatic events that marked your life from age 16 to 23 or what?#to which shepard can say i think we're done here#and jacob's like yep ok personality and memories are indeed intact 👌