i swear i dont love the drama it loves me.

When you are freaking out over something ridiculous and everyone is telling you it’s not a big deal: 

ice cream server: What do you want?

me: I have bpd

ice cream server: Say no more

Someone: why are you always so clingy?? 

Me: 

12 is not enough

If this ain’t the truth

The urge to sing the Lion Sleeps Tonight is only a whim away.

This is a callout post for the TSA agent who was incredibly thoughtful and concerned about me flying across the country all alone without an adult and wanted to make sure I knew how to go through security and felt safe and comfortable and explained that, as per the signs, children under 12 can keep their shoes on, and directed me specifically to another agent to help me so I wouldn’t be overwhelmed or afraid.

You were super sweet and kind, and the look on your face when I handed you my driver’s license and you realized I was 25 was priceless.

I have a bad habit of assuming I’ve annoyed people, and it usually ends up with me dropping communication and hoping they’ll be the ones to continue it.

why were dinosaurs ‘boys culture’ in elementary?? why did we designate the giant extinct reptiles for one specific gender, what the fuck

why were horses for girls, both these creatures are equally terrifying and yet we write Pony Detective books for girls and give plastic toy dinos to boys

why do we do this, why are we like this, why were dinosaurs for boys smh

It’s time to stop segregating nature by gender. When the dinosaurs come back they’re gonna kill us all equally and indiscriminately anyways.

equal opportunity carnage

i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because: 

my white friends that have reblogged this give me life

4. Sometimes I am a shitty white person and the jokes remind me to FUCKIN STOP

If ur white and like this post I fux with u

^absolutely

5. It’s hard to be offended when white people jokes involve bland food/tourist dads in socks and sandals/white girls in yoga pants obsessed with pumpkin spice/suburban PTA moms and other harmless and mostly true stereotypes while jokes about POC involve them being called thugs/criminals/slurs/uneducated/illegal immigrants.

i fucks with u heavy if ur white and you reblog this

6. They’re usually really fucking funny and don’t perpetuate stereotypes that will ever affect me economically, politically, or cause me any true harm, let alone create risks that “justify” my murder and/or death

Waits for my white mutuals to reblog😌

yesyesyesyes

i love myself but i dont love me back

i have never ever related to anything so fucking hard

The Last Jedi - PUN WARS

im perfectly aware that at least 86% of all the funny posts on this hellsite are fabricated or embellished or otherwise bullshit to some degree but if i read something and it does me a chuckle or brings any minuscule shred of positive emotion to my stupid fuckin brain im reblogging it

It’s like when comedians tell stories when performing a stand up routine

Who cares if it didn’t happen exactly the way they say it did? Who cares if it didn’t happen at all!

That’s not the point. The point is to entertain with a funny/clever story.

In 2018 I ain’t reaching out no more to ppl who never reach out to me, never again. One of my many improvements goin into this year, no fake love no fake friends.