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@the-apocryphal-one / the-apocryphal-one.tumblr.com

Warning: my mind is like a ping-pong table. Expect no order in what I post or reblog, and huge splurges of a single subject followed by complete coldness towards that same subject. Happily Catholic and in love with Jesus.
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YOU GUYS HAVE TO READ THIS

A nearby parish was passing out these amazing suggestions for Lent. I am in awe of the holy snark. Seriously, stop and read them. I’ve bolded the funniest ones, though they’re all good ideas.

Pick one from each category for Lent.

FASTING FROM BAD THINGS

  1. Drunkenness
  2. Gossip
  3. Pornography
  4. Complaining–try accepting the cross you’re given instead of objecting that you’d rather choose your own.
  5. Smoking
  6. Masturbation
  7. Calling your sister an alien
  8. Negativity
  9. Being snarky or short or cold or whatever it is you do that makes talking to you an act of charity
  10. Laziness–try exercising for Lent
  11. Arguing
  12. Being picky–eat whatever is set before you
  13. Judging people
  14. Comparing yourself with others
  15. Anger
  16. Immodest clothing
  17. Impure books/television/movies/music
  18. Lying
  19. Cursing

FASTING FROM GOOD THINGS

  1. Snacking
  2. Television
  3. Lunch
  4. Facebook
  5. Makeup
  6. Soda
  7. Chocolate
  8. Shopping (the frivolous kind, anyway)
  9. Secular music
  10. Sweets
  11. Hitting the snooze button
  12. Secular reading
  13. Meat
  14. Naps
  15. Junk food
  16. Fast food
  17. A reasonable diet
  18. Coffee
  19. Cream and sugar in your coffee
  20. Social media
  21. Sarcasm (note that sarcasm is in the “good” category)
  22. Scratching
  23. Your pillow
  24. Hot showers
  25. Hot food
  26. Salting your food
  27. Staying up stupid late–give yourself a bedtime!
  28. Wasting your life on the internet
  29. In that vein: youtube
  30. Wearing your favorite color
  31. Alcohol
  32. Kissing
  33. Gum
  34. Checking your smartphone when you’re with people
  35. Driving when you could walk
  36. Idle curiosity–try not reading every sign you pass or googling every question you have. If it doesn’t matter, be content not to know.
  37. Anything that’s about popularity–checking your blog stats, posting things on facebook that are clever but not edifying

PRAYER

  1. Daily Mass–maybe even daily!
  2. A chapter of the Bible a day. You can get through all 4 Gospels if you read 2 chapters a day and don’t skip Sundays.
  3. 10 minutes of meditation a day
  4. Chaplet of Divine Mercy
  5. Join a Bible study at your parish
  6. 20 minutes of Spiritual reading a day
  7. The Rosary–a decade or even a whole Rosary each day
  8. Go to your Church’s Lenten mission
  9. Stop by an adoration chapel on your way home each day
  10. Don’t turn on music while you drive–pray instead
  11. Subscribe to some solid Catholic blogs
  12. The Liturgy of the Hours–once a day or seven times, if you like. My favorite is the Office of Readings (Matins).
  13. Wear a crucifix
  14. Spend the time you would have spent watching TV reading the lives of the Saints or watching documentaries on the Saints
  15. Go to confession–every week, every other week, for the first time in 30 years….
  16. Pray the Stations of the Cross every Friday
  17. Get up early to pray
  18. List 5 things you’re grateful for every day
  19. Journal
  20. Blog!
  21. Be intentional about your time–make a schedule (with prayer featuring prominently) and stick to it
  22. Go to an art museum or a botanical gardens once a week and just rejoice in beauty
  23. Break your fast with the Eucharist every day–don’t eat until you’ve been to Mass
  24. Pick a virtue to strive for each day
  25. Spend 10 minutes each night talking to the Lord about your day–thanking him for the good and the bad, apologizing for how you fell short, asking for the grace to be better the next day
  26. Listen to Christian music while you drive
  27. Listen to Catholic CDs while you drive
  28. Pick a Saint to be like and do it
  29. Lectio Divina
  30. Pay attention at Mass

ALMSGIVING

  1. Donate the money you would have spent on whatever you’re fasting from
  2. Spend the time you would have spent watching TV with your family
  3. Visit a nursing home–and bring your little ones if you have them. Nothing takes the awkward out of talking to old people you don’t know like a baby.
  4. Step up your tithing game from 10% to 15%
  5. Invite a priest or religious to dinner
  6. Do that rice bowl thing
  7. Save up all your change (and maybe even your singles) and give them to charity.
  8. Write letters to your grandparents
  9. Call your mother
  10. Volunteer once a week–soup kitchen, shoveling snow, the nursery at church, whatever!
  11. Give someone a compliment every day
  12. Take someone to lunch every week–a lonely coworker, a neighbor you don’t always love, one of your children
  13. Perform an act of charity every day–do the dishes when it’s not your turn, take your kids to that awful playground they love so much, talk to your parents in multiple-word sentences, pick up litter
  14. Tell someone about Jesus
#oooh#good suggestions!#lent
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