an archive

my god you're fucked: the lady at the help desk just went to ask someone else for help with your issue and everyone's got a confused look on

Easter egg for office workers: if you go onto Excel and press ctrl+left, then ctrl+down, you will reach cell XFD1048576. If you put a dot in there, then ctrl+A and fill every cell in black, you can then print 34 million black pages from your office printer and get fired

the marketing department has told me ive got to get cuter and smaller and for my face to become a cube with rounded edges and i have to get plastic and i have to attach to a tiny shelf and there has to be 30,000 of me that people will buy for an exorbitant price so i can stand on a filing cabinet for 6 years before being thrown away to become part of the North Pacific garbage patch. and i have to do it by thursday

If you need me, ill be in my office.

*office door shuts and animal i have become begins blasting out of the room immediately*

working in an office is just like being in a horse movie except the horse is a printer. im the only one in the office who can make it work and its because the printer and i have a special bond. its a wild and untamable spirit and we are going to win the big race