an archive

<3 is for heart 3< is for being pegged.

why are you thinking about pegging?

because i wanna be pegged why do you think.

oh sorry go back to gay sex blogging on the gay sex blogging app

oh sorry go back

to gay sex blogging on the

gay sex blogging app

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

*The brucesterling-tumblr memes greatest hits for 2022, now all in one convenient place for maximum vitalisation 

I want to be the first person on the moon to shoot a sniper rifle at earth and hit a wasp nest.  my whole life so far is leading up to that moment

I know everyone’s seen this a million times, but it’s still SICK.

The origins of the mission status: sick image

HIGH STAKES TIC-TAC-TOE (mbmbam animated, ep. 361)

I hate correcting customers who call me ma'am and miss and honey over the phone, because only about 30 percent of the time do they apologize and start calling me sir, while 70 percent of the time they double down assuming I was trans and continue misgendering me on purpose to show how little respect they have for me as a human being. "Thank you, MISS."

I'm a cis man, for the record.

Whenever I correct someone and they keep it up, I simply refuse service. "Oh, I'm sorry, we're completeley booked up the day you wanted. Yeah, no, we're booked up on your backup dates too. Looks like our next opening isn't until, hmm, mid-November. Oh, but it doesn't have enough beds for your party. We could probably fit you in around New Years, but you'd have to change rooms every day. You might wanna try [more expensive motel] a few blocks north of us, they might have vacancies. Have a good day."

I've been able to dodge what few complaints we've gotten so far because they all tell my boss that they just spoke to a very nasty woman, and she has no idea who they're talking about. "You must have dialed the wrong number, because I'm the only woman here, and I didn't talk to you." That PISSES THEM OFF, and she doesn't understand why they respond with "well we've been staying there for years, but we're never coming back." They think she's protecting me, an afab trans man, and are disgusted by it, but from her perspective they're just crazy people who are complaining about made up bullshit; it doesn't even cross her mind that they're talking about me. Why would it?

My boss is like 70 or 75, and was a Republican until 2016. It's never come up in conversation, but something tells me she wouldn't exactly be a trans ally. I'm in a weird position here, and it's hilarious.

"capitalism wrapped" that includes amount of strikes broken up and amount of children employed in the cocoa industry

YOU HAVEN'T FUCKING SEEN HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

still don’t really understand how some people have trouble just being nice

Oh my gosh you’re such a good person. Hey everybody come look at how much of a good person this is.

i literally cannot comprehend how you got offended by this but thanks for proving my point anyway

I don’t mean to distract from OP’s post but my dash won’t let me see what the second image is, it’s just showing me this:

And I am losing my goddam mind.

My only advice for y'all about tarot is that the fool and death do not mean what u assume they mean and u should relax

Ppl will pull death and have a twenty minute panic attack then pull the tower and be like that doesn't bother me

I'm a scientist

wjhat about the card i keep pulling called the egg? it doesn’t even have an egg on it i have no idea what it means

That card just means egg. You don't have to read any further into it

no that’s gengar. gender is a game of skill that involves balancing wooden blocks

No, that’s Jenga. Gender is the robot from Futurama.

No that’s bender, gender is a set of goals made by a group or for a meeting for the purpose of cohesiveness and unity, such as the one commonly attributed to homosexuals

no thats agenda. gender is how minecraft worlds are made

louis needs clarification

whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t

TEA!

but that’s none of my business 🐸☕️

Thanks I hate it

this is the new lorem ipsum

when we have to be stuck in quarantine for another three months because people has to go protest for their right to die in mcdonalds

imagine seeing this post a year ago

if you find bones in the forest, sit a bit and listen. they are old and have some good stories to tell. maybe they’ll teach you a spell or two, or explain where the water on our planet came from.

if you find bones by the ocean, run. don’t look back. run, faster, faster. the sea may love you but there are nights where she knows neither mercy nor science, and the bones warn you only once.

boi if you find bones call the police i hate this website so much

this is a piece of creative writing, in case you couldn’t tell from the fact that real bones don’t usually go hey lil’ mama lemme whisper bony secrets in your ear or warn you of the incoming tides like a calcified weather frog.

everyone in this post is wrong and dumb as shit you take them with you. finders keepers

The three types of people everyone!

you can only reblog this once

2020 will be a good year

Top 10 anime photos taken only a few months before tragedy

reminder to tell people you love when you're thinking about them. bc they won't always know, and love does more when it's put out into the world.

reminder to also tell people you hate that you're thinking of them, so your nemeses know you are out there, plotting

I knew there'd be a shitpost connected to this at some point

when you think about it i’m actually very reliable and consistent