We all got that one vassal who's read a few too many warrior tales... Trying to get a little freaky with it on the down low... Won't shut up about his loyalty unto death... Saying shit like "my liege, I am your blade...." Bitch I sent you to guard my isolated holdings in the eastern provinces for a reason!!!!!!! #REBLOG!!!!!
must be an escaped monkey in south carolina the way she grhesus macaque 🤤
cmonnn this is the best joke i've made in weeks
just. try saying it out loud. please? i need this rn
Björk on nature / techno
I never watched BBC Sherlock or engaged in the fandom and being into original Sherlock Holmes in the year 2024 feels like frolicking in a meadow that’s grown up over a battlefield. Occasionally a war weary veteran with shadows in their eyes will find me. “Don’t you know what happened in this place?” they ask me. “I literally don’t,” I reply, and go back to drawing guys from 1895.
yeah that's gonna become a heritage post up there with "decay is an extant form of life"
if I had a nsfw twitter account, I would leave this on it after it's been wiped clean
evil wizard voice: i too have a "doom scroll"
there's this word in Serbian 'vukojebina' which literally means 'the place where wolves go to fuck' but they use it to mean 'in the middle of nowhere'. it sure does the job well, but the visual stayed with me longer than I would have liked it to.
for chinese we have 鸟不生蛋, which is used to describe a land so barren and remote that not even birds would lay their eggs there.
In German we have "am Arsch der Welt", which means "at the world's ass"
In Finnish it's "Jumalan selän takana" - behind god's back.
I propose that these are all the same place. The world's ass, behind god's back, where birds would not nest and where wolves go to fuck.
In italian we say 'In culo ai lupi', literally 'In the wolves' ass', so very similar to the Serbian one!! Strange how wolves are somehow often involved.
Alternatively, you can also say 'in culo a Dio/la madonna' so in God's/Mary's ass, if you want to be more vulgar (which is always an option in italian)
The German phrase I think must have filtered down into modern English because I frequently use "the arse end of nowhere".
Nah one straw is no problem bro. I'm the strongest camel ever, I'm carrying like TEN THOUSAND straw right now. If I can handle ten thousand straw then what's one straw gonna do? Stands to reason. Just chuck it on bro, it'll be fine.
By Talos this can't be happening
Bold thing to say on a one minute old post
surely 10,001 notes wouldn't hurt
Please stop giving this notes haven't I suffered enough
Why are all cafes nowadays so open, white and sterile like they don't want me to come in? maybe it's just me, but it screams "get your food and leave and never come back"
like... If I'm going to a Cafe, I want it to feel like I can sit and enjoy the atmosphere for a few hours, not like I'm being monitored in a hospital room every time I sip my coffee too loud
Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.
Might I add:
The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed
The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child
The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship
The adventures of a space roomba
Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)
I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head
hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):
I am in love with you /p
What about the one with the princess locked in a tower learning to become a wizard? That’s lived in my mind for years and I haven’t seen it in a long time
Oh, love that story, adding it to the list: 20. Princess Talia and adding a few more contenders 21. Thyme 22. The Monster under the Bed 23. A Meaningful Death 24. Humans are unstoppable…until they aren’t 25. The Monster under the Fridge 26. Antler Guy 27. Cleric slamming healing spells
Adding a few more I remembered: 28. The Frog and the Scorpion 29. HSTHETE 30. The First Witch in the World 31. Imagine that Oceans were replaced by Forests 32. A Faerie taking a Name 33. The Dragon on the Farm 34. Synovus & Menace 35. Raising the Anti-Christ 36. Aliens vs. Flora & Fauna of Earth (pretty sure there are even more additions to the original post but I had this one saved) 37. Doctors without Borders…in Space! 38. The Villain-Wrangler 39. The Last Contact 40. The 100 Parent-Point Children 41. And the Heavens Wept 42. The Night Gentleman 43. The Serpent God and their Priestess
idek what this says i just pressed post immediately after seeing the word 'blessica'
me reading this post
also, its sister tweet:
How could you forget:
