most genius headcanons

pic i took years ago while driving home from work past the scary snail playground. i stopped in the night and pointed my headlights at it

wheres seasons greasons

its that time of year again

It doesn’t have to be

its not optional

so Trump being a felon isn't actually the problem. you guys understand this right. it's the thing he did that got him charged with a felony that is upsetting, not the fact that he is technically a criminal. felons are not inherently worse people than non-felons. becoming a felon did not make him any less qualified than he already was. there are a quite lot of felons who would do a much better job at being president than Trump

it's the hypocrisy. its the fact that in some states felons lose their right to vote, much less hold office. it's the fact that you might be turned down from jobs making minimum wage due to felon status. it's the wealth and privilege and power being weaponized to avoid consequences of actions.

one time in minecraft i built myself a secret underground base because i was experimenting with redstone, i built a lighting system of redstone lamps, as well as an emergency self-destruct feature

i put the light switch and the self-destruct switch next to each other

can you guess what happened next?

Yep

ur telling me a ginger bred this man 😶‍🌫️

in the club stragiht up schlerkin it and by it I mean my schlesticles

i’m sure it’ll find its people

you hate my post ?? sherlickin shlenis??

Magic can theoretically be used by anyone but it takes years of meditation and weaving past the fabric of the self and burrowing into the soul of the universe to cast even the most basic spells so where did this farm boy from the back ass of nowhere find the time to learn how to cast fireball

What do you mean he says he just thought about it really hard and figured it out on his own I went to college for this no stop holding me back let me at him I have some questions

Boy where did you learn how to do that? You’re… hold on. No you’re going to drive yourself into the ground if you keep doing that. What do you mean your pa told you to put your back into it that’s not how magic works there’s no back involved in it stop that you’ll strain yourself

Stop throwing fireballs at the horses we only have so many of those. No you’re going to get arthritis if you keep doing that hold your hand like this. No, you don’t get to fry them horses those ones aren’t for eating. Yes I’m sure your ma really appreciates you helping with dinner but it’s ruining your… boy stop aiming at the horses and pay attention I’m trying to stop you from consuming your own spinal fluid

little miss awful body temperature regulation is taking his hoodie off again

little miss awful body temperature regulation has put his hoodie back on

Would being called big dog fix me? Who knows?

fun words :

Cute gender neutral things to call your partner

anybody out there hiring gay losers. ideally a 100k/year salary and i work for one hour every day when i feel like it. thanks

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That's pointing to the left