they call me paul atreides the way i be putting my fingers in the box

Merchandising opportunity idea for this post

the kneejerk reaction to rats eating the king and sitting on his throne is “its bad”, but if you value scurrying and tiny pink hands it’s actually very good

Most intriguing sentence ever

i think im fucking addicted to exploiting weaknesses in my numerous enemies brio

Fourth time now I've tried to propose to my wife and has gone horribly wrong first I put the engagement ring in the wine glass she drank that next time I tried putting it in the cake she ate that at the last point I decided to give it to the waiter to give to her she still ate him too like I've lost so much money but God what a woman

WIBTA for taking advantage of my boss’ possible manic episode?

I know this already sounds bad but hear me out.

So I (30M) am the sole employee of this guy (62M) who’s honestly just a miserable boss and an even more miserable person. It sucks so bad working for him—the pay is horrendous, he’s verbally abusive, and the working conditions are awful (in the winter I literally have to stay bundled up the whole work day because he refuses to put the heat on in the office). He wouldn’t even give me holidays off if it wasn’t for the fact that there’s basically nothing to do those days because everywhere else is closed. I’m almost positive he unironically thinks poor people should die if they can’t work. His nephew (aka his only living relative and just the nicest guy) came by yesterday to invite him to Christmas dinner and he told him he’d see him in hell.

I cannot stress this enough—it’s BAD. I’d quit, but it’s been hard finding a better job and I’ve got four kids at home, including one with special needs.

Anyway, so here’s where I’m wondering if I’d be the asshole. Today was Christmas Day and he showed up at my house out of nowhere (huge red flag, I know). At first I thought he’d forgotten I had the day off and he was here to chew me out, which was worrying enough, but then his whole demeanor changed and he was super happy and excited and talking about how he was going to raise my salary. He even mentioned possibly making me a partner in the firm.

Now if that was it, I’d feel a little weird about the suddenness of it but it’d be fine. I’m not going to complain about having more money to feed my family. But then he started talking about how he wanted to pay our mortgage off. He talked about wanting to pay for our son to get the very expensive medical care that’s probably going to save his life. He mentioned at one point that he was going to be donating a huge amount of money to charity too—I knew he was rich but it staggered me. All this from a guy who doesn’t (didn’t?) even want to turn on the heat or the lights because it costs too much money.

It was such a sudden and drastic change that happened very literally overnight and now I’m kind of concerned he’s having a manic episode or something. I really, really want to accept his sudden generosity (I probably will; my wife is all for it and thinks he owes it to us), and I would love to believe that he’s truly had a sudden change of heart (an actual Christmas miracle lol) but I’m just worried about the possible consequences of accepting huge financial gifts like this from someone who I believe might be experiencing some kind of break from reality. Even if there’s nothing legally wrong with it, I’m worried about the ethics of it.

TLDR, my asshole boss might be in the middle of a mental breakdown. WIBTA if I accepted his offer to pay off my mortgage and my son’s medical expenses?

Update: I got the courage up to ask him about his sudden change of heart while my special needs child was napping in his lap (what), and he told me he was visited by three ghosts. So. Definitely not well. Still not sure I won't take the money.

this is killing me

a magical sword can only be pulled from its anvil by a maiden of purest heart. a young knight visits the anvil daily to make the attempt, crushed each time he cannot do the deed, yearning for a sign from the universe that he *is* in truth what he yearns to be. for the world to plop the gift of identity into outstretched arms. but of course, it never does. until one day, he has a chance encounter with a nymph of the lake who was once an ordinary squire, and he learns from her that maidenhood will not be given to him, that he must be brave and choose it for himself. and so the knight changes her name and reintroduces herself to the world and employs the greatest miracles of modern science to become the maiden she had always dreamed of being, and this time, when she revists the sword, she only can't pull it because she's kind of an asshole.

shout out to I will follow you into the dark for being the song of all time. death cab for cutie just nailed it. there's never been a song as much as I will follow you into the dark. it's so song. like?? hello?? if heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs, if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks, I will follow you into the dark. that's all there is to it.

Wrong image.

This is what you're looking for I think.

This is sooooo funny because A. They’re.. in public? B. He puts on the goggles to start punching the air and C. She says “Don’t hurt him!” as if he’s.. real..

Some people's Lancer homebrew content really does sound like "but what if you could buy weapons of mass destruction from an arms dealing megacorporation run by a young witch in the alps who just wants to fund the search for her neighbor's cat"

therapist who is trying to run the clock out: so tell me more about how naruto has affected ur life

therapist 3 hours after our session time had expired: so sasuke just leaves??? after all that he still chooses to go? wtf. no wonder ur fucked up

He's so dramatic.

you dumb asshole, you just won $0,000

😍fuck