“He’s the akuma, Bug.” The handcuffed Chat Noir gritted his teeth, trying to pry the other Chat’s hands off the collar of his suit. The chains were just barely long enough to allow it. “He set a trap and caught me by the scruff, but I don’t know what his end goal is.” “No, I swear he’s the fake!” The Chat Noir not in chains turned to Nico, electric blue eyes wide and sincere, the fight clearly less important to him than the conversation. “He’s trying to drive a rift between us, to steal you away from me.” Chained-up Chat blinked, grip suddenly slack. “Haha, what?” Oh god. This was all Nico’s fault. or; Sometimes, the only way to deal with your feelings is by beating them up.

“Woah!” The other boy righted him and patted his shoulder. “Careful, you might…” The end of his sentence trailed off into nothing as he caught sight of the glower Nico was sending his way. He looked way too normal to be in a place like this. He had blond hair that looked like it was supposed to be short, but had been forgotten about for a while. His eyes were so blue they were almost electric, and they were getting wider and wider as he stared. Nico almost looked behind him to see if there was anything more interesting than a scrawny and hopelessly lost half-blood, but didn’t have time to get too confused. “Nico di Angelo,” the boy whispered.

(or; the first few meetings of Nico di Angelo, Champion of Hera, and Jason Grace, Ambassador of Hades.)

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nico interrupted, stance and voice defiant. He held his sword at the ready as dust and wind whipped around him. Jason tried to vault over a column that had collapsed in between the two of them, but a fresh clump of rubble was hurled his way by the invisible god when he got too close to it. YES YOU DO, SON OF— “Jason already knows I’m gay.”

(or; Nico and Jason follow the rules of improv and "yes, and—" their way into a different outcome in Split.)

There was a stranger on the subway who had been staring at them on and off since they had boarded the train. That wasn’t too unusual, but it was rubbing Nico the wrong way today. He shifted from one foot to the other as their car passed from the light of the last station into the darkness of the tunnel system once more. Maybe it was the fact that the stranger was a boy who looked just a little older than him. And taller. Broader, too, although he was almost certainly less experienced at actually using the muscle filling out his expensive name-brand athlesiure. He’d been looking between Nico and Jason since they left the shopping center they’d spent the afternoon at, but mostly he’d been looking at Jason. (or; Nico and Jason's journey to self-expression and belonging through really dumb shirts.)

The figures have their backs to the door, but Wangji can make them out regardless. Even seated, Wei Wuxian’s hands move continuously.

“The older of the Twin Jades was inoffensive to the point of forgettable; the younger was so Jadelike I thought he might actually be made of stone. Has he ever smiled, do you reckon? Even once?”

Ah. Wangji feels a tide of heat to his face and a sort of wavelike rush in his ears, as if he were standing very near a waterfall. This is the precise reason Rule 569: Eavesdropping Is Prohibited exists. Wangji will have to punish himself for the infraction.

It is good, Wangji muses, that he doesn’t care about this Wei Wuxian’s approval.

(Or; Lan Wangji is a single man in possession of a good fortune. He is not in want of a spouse.)

Camp has officially started, and the Zeus Cabin has to make it through Welcome Week before they get to do anything /really/ interesting. Refreshers on how to survive in the wild, how to work a canoe, and fire safety lay ahead of Jason, but he had something far more important on his mind first.

Operation: Befriend Nico was officially starting.

Nico took a deep breath and stared at the computer screen until his eyes watered too much to keep them open. Then, in one motion, he blinked and swiveled around in his chair as fast as he could, opening his eyes back up on the blurry rain spatter of his bedroom window. He fumbled behind him for the notebook and pen that he’d put on his desk and thought very hard.

He clicked open the pen and started a bullet point list. Chat Noir had… hair. It might have been blond. He was taller than Nico, because when Nico thought about talking to him, he imagined looking up. Chat Noir had a nose and a mouth and two eyes. He probably had skin of some sort, because if he didn’t that would be horrifying. Chat Noir wasn’t horrifying.

or; Ancient protective magic can really get in the way of getting yourself a boyfriend.

Chat landed too close to the edge of the building. One of his feet slipped halfway off the edge, and he pinwheeled his arms to regain balance. “Oh no oh crap oh frick!”

He regained his footing, but narrowed his eyes. He seemed to be thinking very hard about something, and for a second, Nico was worried that he was about to be asked why he hadn’t helped.

(He hadn’t helped because it was kind of funny. Plus, they had superpowers. One fall off a two-story building wasn’t going to hurt him too bad, and it would be good training for his reflexes.)

Cautiously, Chat opened his mouth again.

“Fuck.” He pronounced it too carefully, like it was foreign, then looked to Nico.

Nico, for his part, couldn’t figure out how he was supposed to react, so he nodded solemnly back. “Fuck,” he agreed.

okay so i know this post didn’t take off w y’all as much as it did with me, but i wrote a thing about it anyway because the concept wouldn’t leave me alone. i had fun :)

“I guess you owe me now. You have to help me with the fitted sheet.”

Thalia groaned as they passed a couple younger campers who were walking too slowly. Jason tried not to laugh—they couldn’t have been older than 12 or 13, but they were still the same height as Thalia at 20 years old.

“You better not take the top bunk again this year.”

He was definitely taking the top bunk again this year.