(734): He just fucked me into paralysis. can’t feel my hands or face.
(512): I’ll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
(307): Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That’s the problem with open fields, no privacy…
(978): everyone made a circle around them and started chanting fight fight. they weren’t fighting, they were dry humping
(781): Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
(1-781): If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
(303): i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
(519): He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
(1-519): Doesn’t tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
(320): No, that’s just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
(217): I could be doing way worse things besides texting him ‘come over and bang my headache away’. i could be on meth
(317): The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
(1-317): Do you even hear yourself?
(903): Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
(206): My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
(813): I’m like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
(678): He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that’s exactly how it went.