ily, menswear guy

when a pelican bites you there's no malice in their eyes. they aren't upset at you. they are just hungry and want to see if you fit in their mouths. and if you don't then it's no problem and everything is fine. and if you do then well i guess your fate is sealed but that's ok it's a beautiful animal

Okay, see, I knew about the capybara gif:

But I didn’t know that they really are That Dense, All The Time. The same way sharks will bite anything that might be a seal, just in case, these birdbrains will apparently test just about anything for beak size. 

Behold a short list of bad ideas:

Human foot is not food, bird.

That is clearly bigger than your entire body.

...You do know what a bear cub is, right? Right??

That is a BICYCLE SEAT.

That’s it; arrested for bird crimes.

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

Also drink water and eat a plant

This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:

I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:

Just turned 60 and let me say:

This is too tempting…, so, I’m 74, and: don’t fund startups

Please keep stretching and exercise enough NOT to need an elaborate strategy to get up from the floor. IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE

Say bye to your employer as early as you possibly can, unless you really love your job. You won’t be sorry.

Keep doing the annual checkups 🙏🏼

Enjoy that fucking hobby you’ve acquired in your 50, or find something new. Do try new things & adventures.

my favorite thing is to say "investing in" instead of "buying"

just closed on a big deal with a major grocery chain vis-a-vis the procurement of some fresh strawberries

Why do so many people make tiktoks while they're clearly driving. What the fuck. Stop that shit, you're gonna kill someone.

I think people online treat driving too casually tbh, like there was a poll about people's bad habits while driving and they weren't bad habits or problematic or whatever, they were all things that literally kill people every single day. You are driving a massive vehicle that can very easily turn into a murder weapon with your carelessness, take this shit seriously.

"Haha I never use my turn signals" you are going to kill someone.

"I don't do full stops at stop signs lol" you are going to kill someone.

"Sometimes I text while I'm driving 🤭" YOU ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE.

Also people who speed up or suddenly stop or swerve a lot to freak out someone in the car for fun: it stops being funny when you get into a car accident because of it. Just so you know.

Thank you!!! This is a huge pet peeve of mine (or maybe stronger? Like a Hill to die on?) if you are parked in your garage or driveway, fine. Shoot a video in your car. But on the highway??? The freaking highway??? Where cars are going anywhere from 65 MPH to 90 MPH??? That’s where you want to look down to send a text? or make sure you are in frame for your video? not looking at the road or the other cars around you?????

you actually can wait to do a video. Pull over, take an to an exit, go to a rest stop, something, and write down your idea in your notes app or whatever, then do the video or send the text when you get home. Or at least do it while parked at the rest stop!

even if you are driving slowly on a quiet street, you need to pay attention to your surroundings. Unless you are clairvoyant, you should be focused on driving well. A kid can run out of a house into the street even on a quiet neighborhood. Or an adult. Another car could back out in front of you suddenly. Literally anything can and does happen! The point is you don’t know, and can’t know - you can only be present.

And on the highway it’s way worse!! I can’t let this go actually - There are so many people driving on the highway and you have no idea what their driving experience is or whether they are even paying attention! The only thing you can control is you not being distracted. Because two drivers on the highway that are distracted increases the chances for a crash a ton, and if other drivers are distracted too, then they could increase the number of casualties. The fewer ppl drive distracted, the better for everyone.

The point of not being distracted is so you don’t endanger others, yes, but also so you can quickly react to sudden environmental changes (a huge tree branch falling in the road, a flat tire, a deer, a mudslide, a reckless driver) or other emergencies. While driving, you only have seconds (or less) to A) notice *something* is wrong and B) figure out what exactly is happening C) choose a course of action to mitigate damage and D) carry out the course of action. The seconds it takes you to pull attention away from your phone when you are texting or filming a video can mean the difference between life or death. For the driver and everyone else on the road.

I have actually been hit by a car as a cyclist as well as been injured other times because people drive like that. Also had people honk at me because they didn't use their turn signals and I used the information they weren't providing to make a decision about when to go. I always signal on my bike, follow all the rules, etc and it's still very dangerous.

you can click on this button once daily to help palestine and support other causes in the middle east for free. it takes literally 5 seconds and could help save lives so please take the time to click and share this link.

#oh it raises money thru ad revenue and ur click confirms the value to advertisers. neat

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but telling a white supremacist “you don’t speak for me and are not in fact normal” is a very fair and good thing to do. It’s not at all the same as making a “not all white people” comment like the last guy thinks, and it’s especially cringeworthy that he’s another, different white guy himself. It’s like trying too hard to flex allyship. Don’t be a pedant to people who are shutting down a racist’s argument.

If a fascist says “actually I’m just saying what everyone is secretly thinking” it is a moral duty to go “no the fuck you aren’t”

There is a massive, massive difference between telling a person of color talking about racism “not ALL white people, I’m an ally so you don’t mean me right uWu” and telling a fucking white supremacist “uh, no, fuck you, you don’t speak for me.”

If you can’t tell the difference, log off Twitter until you can because Discourse has rotted your brain

This is also why ‘just ignore them’ (which is prescribed aggressively everywhere online these days) isn’t always the best plan.

Quite apart from being affirming to the fascist, it lets their statement stand for others. It allows the Overton window to creep. You don’t have to stay and debate them. You can even block them immediately after, focusing on giving your protest solely to others who will find the fascist’s post. But a quick, 'No, we don’t all think like yoy actually’ can be a very important thing to say.

me when i fucking GET you

Just a quick not friendly reminder: someone who has apologized for past mistakes, made amends for past actions, and clearly no longer holds past beliefs, is a far better person than one who digs up old dirt and uses a person's past that no longer exists against them.

There are a zillion brown tabbies and I love every single one of them

I made some Opossum posters

Protect our marsupial friends!!

legends 

I'm so thankful to have you in my life

Deep in slumber vs. Saying “treats?”

world heratige post

this is the first time i’ve seen this omg thanks