[Emmett]: Yes? Hello 911? I would like to report a theft.

police officer: you’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle

jasper: wait.. what do you mean three?

police officer: yes... three

alice: oh my god...

emmett: what the FUCK

police officer: excuse me?

jasper: beLLA FELL OFF

edward: where’s bella?

alice at the end of twilight:

endless gifs of rosalie and emmett: (9/?)

Bella, after Alice follows her down the hallway after the whole weird it’s the fluorescents line mess that she saw in a vision: What’s up with your brother?

Alice, ready to do damage control:

sir that’s my emotional support vampire

get to know me meme: (6/10 female characters)

emmett at 78 years old standing outside carlisle and esme’s bedroom door wondering if he should go in there and tell them that the police busted the vampire fight club he started in the walmart parking lot a few states over which resulted in alice being tossed into a jail cell in the middle of south dakota

Carlisle when Emmett ultimately decides to call him over the phone while he hides somewhere a couple cities away

— I forget how sassy Edward is in the books. (via wildasthewindis)

alice still insists on taking beau shopping but he’s pleasantly surprised when she makes a beeline for the men’s section

‘you know i love you, but for the love of god we’re gonna find you some pants that fit even if it kills me’

and for the first time in his life, beau sees himself properly in the mirror. not some skinny kid wearing clothes several sizes too big, not a girl playing pretend, he sees beau and everything he wants to be

bella:

No one dressed by me ever looks like an idiot.

We, as a fandom, don’t talk enough about the bit in Eclipse where Alice Cullen keeps Edward out of her thoughts by translating “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” into Arabic and Korean sign language. 

He only calls in once every few months. He said he wants to be alone.