it's been a year so i feel more comfortable talking about it..

when you're atheist and you lose someone, religious people don't really know how to interact with you. it's fine, we have different worldviews.

'He's in a better place, now.'

Sorry auntie, but I don't believe that. I believe that his brain stopped working at 5h55pm on december 11th 2022, and that's it. Nothing after that.

It makes grief very difficult, because not believing in god or the afterlife also means accepting that you will never, ever see that person again. That's it. The end. Nada mas.

But, back to the aunties and other faceless people gravitating in the grey blurry waters of your awareness.

They tell you 'He's with god now' and you tell them 'Yeah I don't believe that' and.

they. get. annoyed.

Here I am, gutted open, the worst day of my life, barely holding myself together, and they! Get annoyed that I won't smile and entertain their point of view!

Another faceless person tried to heal me with cristals. She also got annoyed when I told her I didn't believe in that.

I usually don't really mind religious people. It's fine, we have different worldviews. I think I'm right but so do they. As long as they're good people, I don't judge them for their faith.

I'll even be grateful for them trying to console me. I get that you're trying to give me strength and love. Thank you.

But I'm going to be true to myself, yes even when I'm mad with shock and grief. And I still can't believe they got annoyed that I didn't play along to placate them, on the worst day of my life.

(I wanted to share because I've never heard anyone talk about atheism and grief, and the loneliness that comes out of it.)

I have not lost anyone recently, but I purchased this book some time ago and found it helpful: Comforting Thoughts about Death that Have Nothing to Do with God.

Because as you say, there's very little discussion of how to think about death and handle grief as an atheist, when you don't have the comfort of thinking they're in an afterlife, they're just gone.

Please folks, whatever your own beliefs are, when you are comforting someone, you must align with *their* views and beliefs. You're religious and they're atheist? Maybe talk about how their loved one isn't suffering anymore, or remind your friend that they have a community around them who will support them as they grieve. You're atheist and they're religious? Go for that "they're in a better place" language, or that God is with them in their grief.

This is not a time that's about you. It's about the person that's grieving and you need to use the language that will connect with them! If you're not sure what to say, just tell them you're there for them and be present with them.

Sope the troodon wishes u many fried chicken and good tummy rub

hey writers we have to talk.

if you've read any romance or fanfic in the past twenty years (i know you have), you know that there are a certain number of scents associated with hot dudes. you can probably recite the list of Things Men in Fic smell like in your sleep: leather, black pepper, pine, sandalwood, "something uniquely him", clean sweat, and if the character has ever fucking been within 50 yards of a firearm, something called "cordite".

here's the thing.

NO ONE SMELLS LIKE CORDITE.

cordite was a highly specific type of smokeless gunpowder developed in the 1890s by england specifically and used mostly in wwi.

if your good-smelling guy is not (a) english (b) using a very specific type of british rifle (c) dying in a trench in flanders, he does not smell like cordite. technically even if he does meet all those conditions he still doesn't smell like cordite because he smells like trenchfoot.

the point is, cordite is so far from universal that no one but the most hardcore gun nerds give a single shit about it. making your Sexy Hero smell like cordite is like naming a cassette-only bootleg live recording from the 1970s as your favorite grateful dead album. everyone at the party hates you immediately and knows you're doing it for clout. also, it's just factually... wrong. please stop. i know everyone else is doing it, but you can do the right thing here, i believe in you.

so what do people who are using guns smell like?

well if your story is set before the late 1880s, the smell of a fired gun is black powder, which, unfortunately, smells like seventeen flatulent cows have been shoved in a tire factory. trust me, you do not want your Hot Dude to smell like black powder. it's b a d.

if your story is set after the late 1880s, guns are using some variety of modern 'smokeless' powder - which speaking broadly doesn't really have a ton of scent when used. it does have some, but it's sort of non-descript: the best way i can describe it is the sweet, ozone, hot-plate smell of popping your car hood with a warm engine.

people who use guns a lot don't smell like fired guns all the time anyway, so while those scents might work in a fight scene, they're not realistic all the time. but there are some things that your Sexy Shootist will smell like basically 24/7 and that's metal and gun oil. metal you can go and sniff (i recommend non-stainless steel), but if you want a reference, most gun oils have a sharp, organic smell that's not dissimilar to canola oil but muskier and with a tang overtop. it's not unlikely leather is in the mix as well due to routine handling of leather equipment and gear. modern gear also tends to have a certain smell although it varies by production country and storage conditions - lots of opportunities there.

in conclusion: gunslingers and hired killers and military folks can be sexy and smell great on page, but i am begging you not to say "cordite" when you mean "gunpowder" ever again. we can do this. we are writers and therefore pedants. i believe in us!

not normie enough to fit in but not fringe enough to lean into being a freak, worst of both worlds, pure liminality, just the weird coworker, and unrelatable classmate. and your mutual

"childlike sense of wonder" this and that. Personally, I'm cultivating my elderly sense of wonder. Hence my excitement over a perfectly ordinary bird in my backyard or an above-average-sized vegetable.

dare I say? the joys of a wikipedia article about the railroad system in a faraway land that I have never been to

like i do get why the OT having characters describe the jedi as an 'ancient religion' when they were an active and significant political presence within living memory annoys people. but honestly i think making the fall of the jedi so recent just ramps up how idk. sinister the whole thing is to me?

like the Jedi weren't just wiped out physically; their memory has been flat out obliterated. let's not forget Palpatine didn't just have the Jedi order destroyed, he got the senate to cheer for him while he did it.

we live in an age of alternative facts - it's not difficult to imagine. oh you remember seeing the Jedi using the force live on space TV? no you didn't. the Jedi order is ancient history, they fell a really long time ago. 50 years? a hundred? something like that. we don't believe in that kind of superstition anymore. kinda sad that they're gone i guess but it was progress.

like 'the government massacres thousands of people including children and then 20 years later everyone acts like it didn't happen' isn't an implausible series of events c'mon

The guy who made it was literally watching it happen in real time with Vietnam. They didn’t need the internet or social media or fake news. Lucas watched the government change the narrative on the war as it was happening, so he knew full well the power of propaganda and state media. It’s not a plot hole, it’s scarily accurate.

anyone who knows how websites are run, could you please tell me what, if anything, connects the sudden absence of donation requests in my inboxes and the equally abrupt return of pornbot follows? it feels very much like in an effort to hinder one, tumblr unleashed the other, though surely they are separate?

the blank blogs are back too

Creatures located in this post:

i love when you just click the share link on a picture on your phone and you get a bunch of batshit insane options. yeah let me email this selfie to the periodontist office. let me send this to my boss on teams. perfect suggestions.

Trying to cause an asthma attack at my family's gift exchange. The gobbler. I made 3 of these bitches.

it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me

i have to do EVERYTHING around here

There are a couple of things about current shipping culture that confuse me.  

1. The focus on whether or not a pairing will become canon as a reason people should ship something or not.  Do you not understand what the “transformative” part of “transformative works” means?”

2. This idea that saying “I ship that” means “I think that, as presented in canon,this is a perfect, healthy relationship that everyone should model their relationship after.” 

Sometimes shipping something does mean that.  Sometimes shipping something means “Person A is a trash bag who doesn’t deserve person B but I would love to explore how Person A might grow to deserve Person B.” Sometimes it means “I want these characters to live together forever in a conflict free domestic AU.”  Sometimes it means “I want Person A to forever pine after Person B.  Nothing is beautiful and everything hurts.”  And sometimes it just means you like their faces and want to see Person A and Person B bone in various configurations and universes. 

Listen to your parents, kids.

This really should be one of a handful of Public Service Announcements randomly and chronically inserted into one’s dash.

Hell man sometimes it means “these two are TERRIBLE and I want to watch them burn like a catastrophic forest fire as a proxy for all the shit I don’t actually want in real life (like to light my own apartment on fire and scream) and then laugh at the destruction at the end.” 

All “I ship it” really means – really – is “I think there’s a story in those two, and I want to hear it.”

All “I ship it” really means – really – is “I think there’s a story in those two, and I want to hear it.”

creating cutscenes that dont exist just so i can go "nice"