Anonymous asked:

I now it’s not X Reader, but I’m imagining the encounter between Edgar and Kerb in MIB going a lot… differently. By that, I mean they fuck in the barn since it turns out Kerb is in a rut, and he’d like something to fuck and Edgar… well, he guesses it beats dying, even if he’s saying that he ain’t gay the whole time. Edgar’s potbelly is bulging out even further on Kerb’s colossal bug cock, and it only gets more prominent when Kerb cums in him and makes his gut swell like a balloon with his seed. I dunno, just surprised no one’s written anything like that yet.

Edgar is so ungrateful. Doesn’t appreciate Beatrice. Doesn’t appreciate buggery. Xeno-buggery.

It is kinda odd there’s not really an Edgar/Kerb fandom. FurAffinity has some decent Edgar the Bug art, but a lot of it contains stuff I’m not into. If there was any plain ol’ Kerb-on-Edgar (or any human) that would make me so happy.

Anyway, that scenario. 🥵 Monster-on-guy, size difference, cum-inflation.

Most of my fave M/M ships have at least one non-human member lol. Stupid sexy space invaders.

#anon #ask #Kerb #Edgar the Bug #Men in Black #minors do not interact #dubious consent #size difference #terato #cum. inflation #anal.#Edgar #MIB #Beatrice

tawneybel

Note: Trying to keep blog mostly live-action, but eh, fun request.

Imagine Blanko misunderstanding your use of the word court.

I’m surprised, you thought as the gangling- No, look at that toned muscle, you amended. I’m surprised he doesn’t think “courtship” is a type of spaceship.

The blue extraterrestrial towered over you, a dopey grin on his face.

“So, this is what Earth babes, like, like?”

He was, well, spacey. But as Blanko’s attention drew away from his newly acquired legs, you got the feeling he was going to be a lot more focused in the future. Just not on catching rascally rabbits.

Maybe Marvin can give me advice on alien abduction. Or would he be a neutral party?

“Hey,” Blanko called to the other Monstars, “do we need cheerleaders?”

Uh oh.

tawneybel

Imagine wondering whether you should flash Rowan, in ghost kaiju form, as a distraction or not. It works, until he remembers that he doesn’t have to be coy at this height.

tawneybel reblogged

Dark Souls 3: A Dangerous Dance

GIF by crystal-chrysilla

A sequel to my previous fic Chills & Thrills

———————-

The knight casually made his way up one of the many stairways of Lothric Castle. Peering at the horizon in the distance, seeing the ashen gray sky and the fiery red sun above… It sure seemed like the sky itself was on fire. Seeing it strengthened his resolve. He had to continue. Had to keep moving.

As he neared the top of the stairway, the sound of the restless undead stirring from their slumber met his ears. Reaching the top step, he soon found a horde of undead cavalrymen shambling about.

He started to reach for his claymore, when he heard the distant sound of large, metal heels hurriedly click-clacking against cobblestone. The sound of which caused him to lightly chuckle, and cross his arms over his chest.

As the sound grew louder, the cavalrymen took notice of him. Two of the ten that shambled raised their weapons upon seeing the knight.

“Three…” the knight muttered

The closest of the cavalrymen let out a primal shriek, and began shambling faster toward the knight. The rest of the monster’s comrades now had their full attention on the knight.

“Two…” the knight muttered, a smile creeping onto his face when he heard the feral shriek that accompanied the clicking metal heels

The closest of the cavalrymen started to sprint. Sword raised high, it sought to stab the knight right through his neck. Inches away from him, and the knight did not bat an eye.

“One-” “SkrrreeEEEEAARRRLLL!!!” howled his partner from behind him

He watched as the cavalrymen was helplessly snatched up by his companion, the Dancer of the Boreal Valley. Plucking the undead soldier off his feet, she snarled before slamming the undead’s skull repeatedly into the edge of the stairs. Spraying blood and viscera everywhere

“NOT! YOURS! MINE!!” she screamed at the mushy dark red paste that used to be the cavalryman’s head

The other undead infantry howled in rage, and proceeded to charge the Dancer with their weapons.

“Uh, sweetums-” the knight started to warn, when his tall, lanky, feral beast of a girlfriend shoved him down the stairs

He wasn’t angry in the slightest, of course. His armour protected his body from the hard stone stairs, thankfully. But also, he didn’t want to be anywhere near his companion when she was like this. Between the feral shrieks she unleashed, the horrified screams of the undead soldiers, and their severed limbs flying over the stairs… He was fine with taking a break for a bit.

Slowly getting up to his feet, he pretended to dust himself off as a severed leg flew inches past his helmet. Climbing the stairs -cautiously this time- he readied his claymore, just in case.

By the time he made it to the top, he found his tall companion mercilessly bludgeoning one of the many corpses into a paste with the side of her enchanted sword. And the way he saw it, she wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

He whistled at her, which caught her attention right away. Seeing that lanky neck of hers snap at an unnatural angle sent a chill down his spine. Lingering fear from the days he used to be her enemy.

“LOoOoovVvVvee…” she purred, lurching quickly to where he was, dragging her sword as she moved

“Thanks, sweetie.” he told her, patting the side of her helmet when she was within range, “You did good-”

Kneeling down, her neck coiled around behind him. It wasn’t long before he felt her long, drooling tongue reach under his helmet and flick against his chin.

“MMmmm… LaaAAaAap dannsss nOW?” she whispered, growling with lust

“Uh, I-I don’t know if now is a good time-” he tried to argue, but fell silent when he felt her large hand press him closer towards her

“LAP DANCE!” she shouted, growling with frustration while she banged her sword over the ground.

Her hand pressed firmly on his chest to keep him from running.

“O-Okay, lap dance later!” he said, almost begging when he saw the next bonfire in the distance

“Laapp dansss NOW!” she hissed, her grip tightening so hard, that he felt the metal of his armour bend in places

“S-See that bonfire?!” he shouted in a panic, pointing frantically at the bonfire several yards away, “Lap dance there!” “Err-RARGHL!!!” she hissed with excitement before snatching the knight off of his feet and hurriedly stomping her way to where he pointed

The world flew by him in an instant. One minute he’d been standing in a pool of coagulated blood, the next minute he found himself dumped onto the floor of a tower. Just a few feet from the bonfire. Groaning, he pushed himself up. Intending to get his bearings, the sound of his companion’s armor coming off caught his attention. What he saw left him stunned.

She was sitting down, spread eagle. Her breasts were exposed, as was her dripping wet pussy. Her helmet was pulled back too, exposing her luscious lips. Blue lipstick that accompanied her ravenous, fanged smile. Reaching down, she lightly fingered herself. Moaning from the stimulation, she looked him dead in the eyes, and ran her tongue along the upper row of her fangs.

“LOoOovvee me…” she moaned, vigorously fingering herself before flicking a finger his way, sending a few drops of her pussy juice at his helmet, “Laaapp dannnnssss~”

Removing his grieves to release the pressure from his rock hard dick, he quietly muttered “This isn’t what a lap dance is…” before making his way over to the large, feral she-beast that hungered for his manhood.

He barely made it three steps before she lunged. Reaching out with her hand she scooped him up and more or less shoved him against her wet sex.

“LAP DANCE!” she hissed, flicking her longue tongue at him before clicking her fangs shut as a warning

“Yeah, yeah…” he muttered, half annoyed when he proceeded to enter her welcoming, wet canal, “You’re lucky you’re cute…”

#reblog #fic #judge m0rt1s #Dancer of the Boreal Valley #Dark Souls #Dark Souls III #size difference #gore #lap dance #masturbation

tawneybel

Imagine Sculpin trying to convince you to chain him up while he’s in his colossal form.

“Like… Gulliver?”

“Oh, so you’ve done this before?” asked the Terror, peering down at you with increased interest.

Something told you he wasn’t knowledgeable about eighteenth century Irish literature. Maybe you could tell him, during aftercare.

tawneybel

Note: Never played Dark Souls, so I mostly went off YouTube, TV Tropes, and judge-m0rt1s. (If you like tall baddies, check out his Dancer of the Boreal Valley story.) Hope it’s accurate-ish lol. It made me sad Gwyn was such a suckass father, so here’s Gwyndolin defiling his dad’s tomb with reader.

Imagine becoming betrothed to Gwyndolin.

tawneybel reblogged

Dark Souls 3: Chills & Thrills (NSFW, Minors do NOT interact)

GIF by halfwayriight

Inspired by a “review” that @tawneybel did a while back. Please check her stuff out! Also, please forgive me for the quality! I love writing, but smut is NOT my forte, despite my desires to take a crack at it. Still, I hope you enjoy it XD

———

He knew not the number of times he died to the feral, lanky, scimitar wielding she devil known as “The Dancer Of The Boreal Valley”. All he knew was that if he died one more time, he planned to bring a step stool next so that he could shove his foot way up her ass!

The battle started promising… But then, they always did. As tall as she was, The Dancer was deceptively fast. Lurching forward, hunched as she moved. The heels of her metallic boots loudly clicking across the floor. Slow, deliberate. And when he’d charge in to shank her heels with his claymore, the she beast would pivot on her heels and smack him across the room with her enchanted scimitar.

Five minutes in (a new record), and the frustrated knight struggled to stand. All out of the refreshing, life rejuvenating estus he kept in his flask, the knight watched helplessly as The Dancer descended upon him. Standing up, her back bending far back as unnaturally as the rest of her moved. Preparing her sword to chop him in half for what felt like the billionth time, the frustrated knight could only sigh in frustration. A half hearted chuckle escaping his lips at how ridiculous the situation was.

“So, do you do lap dances?” he snarked

Right as she started to swing her sword, The Dancer froze. Something that the knight did not expect. Not just because he didn’t expect anyone to take such a sarcastic tone so seriously. All this time he assumed his opponent, alluring though she was, had the mind of a feral beast.

Before he could even ask her if she understood him the entire time, the towering scimitar user aimed the tip of her sword right at his neck. A threat that might’ve worried him, had he not died several times before.

“Hsssher-RAGHHRRLL!!” the Dancer snarled

Okay, so she’s “kinda” feral… thought the knight, frustration returning in full force, Six of one…

When she brought her sword back to impale him, the knight, thinking that maybe she wanted him to repeat what he said, decided to indulge his opponent.

“I-I asked if you do lap dances!” he called out to her once more

He watched her movement with fascination. The way her head tilted in confusion, how her hips swayed when she shifted her weight. Tapping her foot, knuckles pressed into the side of her hip.

“L-Lappff… Danssss…” the Dancer repeated, sounding annoyed by the remark, slurring her words with boiling feral rage

Smirking underneath his helmet, the knight thought that maybe there was a way to win after all! Who knew that it would be through negotiation?!

“Y-Yeah!” he insisted, trying not to get too excited, “You’re the Dancer of the Boreal Valley, right? We’ve been fighting all this time, and I haven’t seen you dance once-”

In the blink of an eye, her large helmet was inches away from his own. Crawling now, leaning in with one hand pressed against the floor.

Right… Deceptively fast… thought the knight, goosebumps marching down his spine

The edge of her flaming sword caressed his neck. When she hissed, he could feel her breath through the slits of his helmet. The chill of winter air seeping through, along with the fading scent of honey and lilacs.

“Gr-rrrRRR-LAAAAP D-DANSSS?!” she bellowed, her booming voice causing the whole room to shake

“Oh, come on!” he shot back, “With a sexy body like yours, how could I not think that?!”

“S…Sexxx…eeee…?” the Dancer repeated, head tilting again

The knight started to blush. Admittedly he did find her physically attractive, though that part he didn’t mean to blurt out.

“I-I mean, y-yeah! You’re… Y-You’re kinda cute…” he bashfully told her, with his frustrations creeping in, “Y’know, when you’re not trying to chop me into-”

With a flick of her wrist, the Dancer hurled her sword to the far end of the room. Then she reached out with her hand, and shoved the knight onto his back. Watching her creep up to him on all fours made the inside of his helmet feel hot.

“Mmmm…” she cooed, reaching with her hand, pinning his back to the floor

With her index finger, she traced a line from his chest down to the crotch of his leggings.

“W-What are you-” was about as far as he got before she ripped a gaping hole in his pants, exposing his throbbing cock

“S-SSseXXxx-eEEeE…” the Dancer gasped with pleasure, gnashing her teeth together behind her helmet, droplets of drool seeping out and coating his cock

Her hand lashed out like a viper. Grabbing him by the cock, she pulled him closer. Gently stroking his excited member as she reeled him in and tucked him under her crotch.

Fearing that he might’ve bitten off more than he could chew, the flustered knight said, “H-Hey, n-not that I-I’m not e-enjoying this… But, m-m-maybe we s-should slow down-”

“UurrrRR-RREGHRL!!” the Dancer hissed, slamming a fist down inches away from his helmet, causing the floor to buckle and break

Then, she uncurled her fist, and tucked it behind his helmet. Prying it off his head, she then reached for her breast plate. When she removed it, she giggled when she saw his eyes bulge.

“N-Nowww…” she hissed threateningly, grinding against his body, causing her large, perky breasts to jiggle and bounce, “L-LAAaaAAppff DannnnsssSSS!”

tawneybel

Make love, not war. Dance on laps, not graves.

#reblog #fic #judge m0rt1s #Dancer of the Boreal Valley #Dark Souls #Dark Souls III #lap dance #dubcon #size difference #size kink

tawneybel

Note: Happy MerMay. One of the more bizarre requests I’ve written. Hope this makes everyone’s day-after-May Day. If not, I hope this ruins it.

Imagine the Octalus using his teeth to carefully rip your clothing away.

tawneybel

Imagine the Bug getting distracted by your pheromones.

Unfortunately, Kerb didn’t have his Edgar suit on. He wasn’t really sure to court you, anyway. You looked like a human, but the chemical signals wafting from your smaller frame were driving him crazy. Upon closer examination, it was clear you weren’t hiding inside someone’s skin.

Kerb couldn’t help imagining what it must be like to run his tarsi over your soft features while mounting you. He wasn’t sure you could crossbeed. But still, you’d make a nice receptacle for his sperm.

Note: Disgustingly cute buggy.

tawneybel

Imagine being a non-flammable Morlock and stumbling into the Chamber of the Ten Terrors with Necrolai.

“We have trespassers here,” roared the giant in front of you, before he burst into- no, clothed himself in flames. “Who are you and what are you doing in our sacred chamber?”

Necrolai clasped her hands. “Are you one of the Ten Terrors?”

“What business do these insects have with us?” questioned another giant, from behind you two.

“You’re huge,” was all your awed self could say, without taking your eyes off the first Terror.

The Queen of the Vampires flittered up to introduce herself before being blown off course by yet another one. All ten seemed to be present.

“Leave now, while we’re feeling merciful.”

While your companion pleaded with his fellows, Magma—as he would tell you later—scrutinized your minuscule form, before lowering his palm. Seeing his immense heat had no ill effect on you, he hooked a finger. Just as you climbed into his grasp, Necrolai had convinced the other nine Terrors to travel to the surface.

“After we punish our enemies,” Magma mused, “maybe we can reward our new ally- allies.”

tawneybel

Imagine the Kraken showing up earlier than expected. And spotting you, who has no way of petrifying a sea monster.

Except for his claspers, prominent as he loomed above all. You had wondered what marine animals the Kraken resembled. Many, apparently. The other Argives aside from the bound princess fled. His excitement clearly hadn’t relieved them.

Tentacles hung in the air. It looked some calculating was being done behind the Kraken’s mean red eyes. Then he lowered a colossal claw. Surely he didn’t expect you to climb onto it?

The Kraken looked at you, then his twin erections, then back at you. Hopeful.

Note: Early MerMay celebration.

tawneybel

Note: The first two paragraphs are from a prompt.

The inhuman driver - what appeared to you to be an oversized cockroach just barely contained in the putrid, overalls and boots that remained of its guise, brownish exoskeleton crushed into the creaking fabric – finally turned its head to face you, sickly yellow eyes staring into you and an exposed clawed limb grasping your shoulder as it finally spoke.

“It’s a long trip…” he(?) began in a deep, guttural growl.

Kerb used his other foreleg to bend the arm of his “suit” back. The rotted flesh torn away, all you could do was gawk. Nothing of the disguise remained. Any and all residue had slid off the chitin. No stench, but the Bug’s breath was sickly sweet. For a brief moment, his grip left your shoulder. But there was no way you could outrun this creature. Now both tri-clawed hands were on you.

Is he an omnivore?

Despite the sharp teeth, human hide, and the mandibles framing your face, you hoped he preferred plant matter.

Oh, who am I kidding? “It’s a long trip.” What else, you figured as his external mouthparts forced eye contact, could he possible want from-?

“I’m going to need some entertainment.”