Imagine accidentally let slip you’re sailing the crimson tide on the Demeter. And Dracula immediately attempting to get an invitation to your cabin. 

Imagine asking Angel to have sex with you on your period, so you won’t get pregnant. He tells you he’s a vampire, so you don’t have to worry about it. He’ll also eat you out. If you want.

Imagine admitting to Max that one of the reasons you like dating him is because he’s mature enough not to belittle you over your period. And he initiates menstrual sex.

Pelle NSFW Alphabet

Note: “Hi! Can I request the nsfw alphabet for Pelle if you do that please?” Blank template. Not going to bother censoring words this time, even if this doesn’t show up in results lol. 

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Pelle will offer to get you something to drink, then lay down and gaze adoringly at you or hold you in his arms. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Your torso. He adores holding you in his arms above all else, but any part of his body that brings you pleasure...  

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Really only likes his inside you, in your vag or mouth. But watching you lick cum off your lips is nice, too. Your cum, on the other hand, Pelle likes on his face. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Remember how Maja pursued Christian? You’ve unknowingly consumed Pelle’s semen before you started dating. The love spell worked! 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Pelle probably wasn’t a virgin when he started dating you. Even if he was, he asks questions and listens. You might have assumed he was inexperienced until he gives you multiple orgasms during your first time together. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He loves to face you. Sit down and/or wrap your legs around him and he’s happy. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He does like hearing you giggle now and then. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Doesn’t landscape of his own volition but will totally wax his pubes if you ask. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Eye contact, hand holding, the whole shebang. Pelle makes you feel like you’re the center of his universe, or even that it’s just you and him. Even when you have an audience. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

There’s not much privacy at the commune so it’s not uncommon for anyone to take care of business amongst the trees. He likes to press your panties against his lips and daydream about you bouncing around on his face. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Voyeurism, but with his upbringing that’s to be expected. Also, sharing you. Usually with Ingemar. He’s also a bit of an exhibitonist, or at least doesn’t care if someone asks to watch. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Your bed, Ingemar’s bed, someone else’s bed. In the woods, against a building. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Just tell him you want to be held and he’ll go all out for you. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Pelle’s not very kinky. He might be evil, but he’s not sadistic sexually. (Though he does get off on the fact he stole you from your boyfriend.) 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves cumming down your throat. And eating pussy! Especially when you’re backed up against a wall or tree, or sitting on Pelle’s face. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and sensual, definitely. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

None for Pelle, thanks. Unless maybe there’s a line of other cultists who want to take a turn with you.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Not a fan of condoms. If you’re ovulating, expect to find yourself queening him. You’re probably forced to rely on the rhythm method. Pelle doesn’t like pulling out, either. Sif probably gave him permission to impregnate you, anyway. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

It helps that he loves pussy eating. He’ll just eat you out until he’s hard again. If your clit’s too sensitive at the moment, Pelle will just have you sit down on his face or lap for a while. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

If you already have toys he’ll use them, but he prefers to use his tongue or fingers on you. He really only wants to cum in you, so no fleshlights or the like unless you’re planning on drinking its contents afterwards. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

No teasing, straight to business!

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Quiet grunts. Your name over and over, mostly. If you’re being shared, he might carry on a conversation about the virtues of your mouth or thighs or whatever’s being fucked. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Hårga culture doesn’t teach menophobia. Sometimes he actually likes seeing your blood mix with his semen. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Regular boxers outside the commune, traditional underclothes inside. So, to you, it just seems like Pelle’s commando. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Whenever you’re ready, he’s ready. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Likes watching you fall asleep first, if he can.

Note: Haven’t written period stuff in a while lol.

Imagine realizing Jerry Dandrige is a monster.

In your room, you contemplated how you would tell your housemate. Consumed by this unpleasant thought, you jumped when she stuck her head in.

“______, didn’t you hear me call you? Come on down.”

You were still crafting a mundane retelling of your interaction with Jerry as you followed her. Not mundane as in “boring,” but mundane as in “believable.” You wanted to tell your roomie the truth so bad. He was a type of predator. It wouldn’t be a lie to say that.

“Hello, ______.”

Jerry ceased tapping on the side of his chair and sat up to look at you. You refrained from answering. You turned to your housemate, who shared (or so she thought) a knowing look with you, smirked at Jerry, and left the room.

“Has she been converted to one of your minions?”

He chuckled, but didn’t answer. And didn’t get up like you’d hoped. If he got up, you might’ve been able to unroot yourself from the carpet.

“We have the living room to ourselves.”

The way Jerry casually drummed his fingers against his thighs made your skin crawl.

“Can you call what you do night after night ‘living’?”

This time he just smiled, shaking his head like he thought you’d either said something surprisingly clever or unsurprisingly stupid. It was hard to tell with Jerry. You were barely acquainted with your neighbor yet you wished he was a stranger. At least then you’d have an excuse to defend yourself. Why did he have to get to your housemate before you could warn her?

“Now that I’ve been made welcome, I’ll probably drop by quite a bit.” Ah. Vampires did have to be invited in, after all.

“Speaking of ‘drop,’ or should I say ‘drops’?”

An immaculate finger pointed below your waist. Driblets of blood streamed down your thigh. You stared at his ring while heat rushed to your face. You were so preoccupied, you’d forgotten to replace your tampon after tossing it.

Jerry stood up. “How about I clean you up?”

Imagine Roman convincing you and Peter to let him watch while you two have period sex. To nobody’s great surprise, the upir asks to eat you out afterwards. But neither you nor Peter were expecting Roman to want to clean off the werewolf’s d!ck, too.

Imagine Leatherface crushing on you and attempting to express his love with cun-nilingus. You’re being held captive by the Sawyers, and there’s not much to do, so you give into his advances. At least until your period starts up. Too bad he already got a taste.

Note: Sawyers and red wings just go together.

Imagine Drayton and Nubbins taking little issue with taking turns casually hooking up with you. They even joke about it, saying they’ll have to let Jed marry you so neither of them gets to f/u/c/k you more than the other.

This truce immediately deteriorates during shark week, though. Then the two Sawyers threaten to make each other bleed while fighting for your attention.

Imagine honey trapping Translucent for the Boys. The Supe is eager to share his many kink/s with you. Billy learns this the hard way when he interrupts a face/sitting session.

“You two are bloody per/verts.”

Imagine making making a pact with Black Phillip for carnal relief. He offers his own c0ck. You tell him you’re menstrous.

The demon throws in his tongue.

Imagine trying to use the “girl problems” excuse on Tom. He just tells you that if you’re having menstrual cramps, he can help relieve them.

Imagine thinking you’re not going to get any loving on Valentine’s Day because you’re menstruating. Harry proves you dead wrong.