Tawns of Fun

Imagine being a member of Daily Bugle’s editing staff who the Green Goblin abducts as “collateral.” 

Imagine rejecting Norman and the Green Goblin not taking it well. 

Imagine growing a tail after being exposed to CX. 00009. 

Why Norman Osborn chose you specifically as a guinea pig, you didn’t know, but now you were immensely grateful. Of course you were terrified at first. Your boss had you stripped and strapped down before injecting you with the experimental compound. Telling you he was the Green Goblin hadn’t been necessary. The vaporization of his former business partners had clued you in. 

Now, Osborn wanted a new partner. One who couldn’t afford to choose her own path. Harry wasn’t fit to follow his footsteps. Peter had refused him. Your medical records indicated you should be nubile. 

You were admittedly more feral than he expected. And you hadn’t quite “goblinized.” For some reason you’d grown a prehensile tail. And, it slowly dawned on him, you were way more interested in taking care of your own desires than letting Norman into your heart. The serum had increased your libido. 

If you hadn’t figured out what you could use your tail for, you probably would’ve surrendered to the Green Goblin’s advances. He probably would’ve just had me terrorize New York with it.... somehow, you thought as you fucked yourself silly with the lubed appendage, giving your sweet spot a little rub now and again.

Imagine making the mistake of telling Norman how badly you want kids.

It had been early in the relationship. You’d worried he might be scared off. Already being a father, he didn’t mind. He just joked that he was going to buy all the condoms himself from now on.

But the confession turned out to be a mistake after all.

Catching sight of the green helmet perched on the chair, you stopped. And stared and stared. All by itself, it reminded you of a shed exoskeleton. Or an unseasonal decoration.

You closed the door behind you, leaving it as it’d been before your arrival. But in your terror, you forgot about the carryout. Norman was due back any minute. Norman would find it warm and know you’d been there. Norman... Norman you bumped into as you turned to escape.

“______,” your boyfriend exclaimed, “you okay? You look spooked. You look like you’ve seen a g-”

“Goblin.”

The two of you stood staring into each other’s eyes. The last time such fervent gazes had been exchanged was the evening before. When you couldn’t fathom leaving him.

Norman guessed you hadn’t suspected anything was off. His secret had been suddenly uncovered. Well, making Harry a little half-sibling was going to be a bit more difficult. The Goblin admonished Norman for not giving you what you desired and deserved: motherhood.

Now, give it to her! the Green Goblin commanded, forcing you back through the door.

Imagine the Green Goblin deciding to corrupt you into joining him.

Once he found out your secret identity, Norman wasted no time in seducing you.

You worked for The Daily Bugle. Maybe having two authority figures critical of Spider-Man’s vigilantism would... Well, it wouldn’t endear you to the Goblin. But that’s what the CX. 00009’s for. Norman would just have to make you genuinely fall in love with him first.

Imagine being propositioned by the Green Goblin.

The villain was too busy relishing in his capture to notice you, off to the side. Not wanting to risk him dropping the unconscious Spidey, you’d waited until the Goblin landed on a rooftop. Then you revealed yourself.

By the way the Goblin ogled, you might have swung into battle nak/ed.

“Hello,” he exclaimed, rising from a kneel. Waiting for Spider-Man to wake up.

“Oi, Green Meany-”

You wondered what he wanted with Spider-Man.

“Aren’t you wondering why I haven’t offed the other little spider yet?”

“We’re not actually partners,” you explained, hoping Spidey would wake up soon. The Goblin was almost charming up close. “I was going to ask but I didn’t want to plant anything in your head.”

“This head?” he responded, using a finger to tap his helmet. You felt yourself becoming lost in his crinkled eyes... “Why not plant one on this head?”

...then you realized he wanted to reveal much more.

He’s not charming. I’m just that frustrated. Still...

Imagine waking up to Spider-Man cradling your limp form.

You were too out of it to feel the soreness at first. When it hit, so did the realization that Spider-Man was trying to console you. It took several minutes until you were able to puzzle out what happened.

Norman had found out about your relationship with Peter. And had donned his armor, intent on confronting you about the rebound. You had been sleeping when he arrived. And when he came. Using the soporific vapor Spider-Man had fallen victim to first.

As you tried to get up, the deep ache in your core forced you to your knees. There was nothing to do right then but languish in Peter’s lap.

Imagine Peter finding out the hard way that Norman has a crush on you. 

“Misery, misery, misery, that’s what you’ve chosen. I offered you friendship and you- Okay, look, I’m pissed off ya rejected me, but the main reason I’m here is because we both like ______,” the Goblin explained, before socking Spider-Man in the jaw. “She’s too much woman for you to handle.”

Imagine after almost being kidnapped by the Green Goblin, you decide to admit to Peter that you’re pregnant. 

“Already? How can you be sure?”

Praying that this science geek didn’t know much about reproduction was a lost cause. Why did you let a rebound turn into a relationship?

“Before we started dating, I had a secret lover...”

“Please tell me it’s not Gobby’s.”

“No, of course not. But I think he’s planning on holding me hostage to get back at my, er-”

“Baby daddy.”

“Yeah, him.”

“Who is-?”

You sighed. “Norman Osborn.”

Neither of you spoke as Peter digested this information. “He dumped you?”

“No, and I didn’t find out I was pregnant until after we, ya know...”

“You left Mr. Osborn for me? For me?”

“...Yes.”

Imagine ending your relationship with Norman Osborn. He’s heartbroken, and the Goblin’s not going to let you get away so easily.

“You’re immoral enough to date me, decide you like my son better, break up when you know we’re both going to the same Thanksgiving, yet... You can’t steal Harry away from MJ?” Norman scoffed. “That’s not the ______ I know.”

His words didn’t so much hurt as annoy you. You came up here to be by yourself. Deciding you didn’t want him puncturing the silence again, you turned around to answer. Instead of the man who shouldn’t have been a sugar daddy, much less your serious boyfriend, was the Green Goblin.

“You’d be a good match for Harry in the public eye. But behind closed doors you-”

“-’d have me boinking my father-in-law? Yeah, I don’t think so.”

“See? Green minds think alike. But it’s too late for that option now.” He held up a thick tube labeled “CX. 00009.” “Harry can tell people his stepmom used to be his classmate.”

Schoolmate, you think, taking a step back. We never shared a class.

Imagine the Green Goblin thinking you’re too cute to be partnered with Spider-Man. Looks-wise, you’re way out of Spidey’s league, but power-wise he seems to be out of yours.

Besides, Gobby thinks as he presses you against the glass and splits open the cr0tch of your suit, you’re too easily intimidated. Your vulnerability does have its uses, though. Like how the Green Goblin is going to lay down on his board, unsheath his dick, and make you ride it. You can’t fight back and you’re afraid the villain’s going to push you off once he’s done using you. He won’t, but it’s going to feel so good when you clench around him in fear.

Imagine being friends with Harry and secretly hooking up with his dad. It wasn’t serious on your part, so there’s not much guilt to be felt when you start seeing Peter Parker. At least until you skip a period. 

Why didn’t you date Harry when you had the chance?! Sure, it would have been awkward after sleeping with Norman. But Harry Osborn probably wouldn’t have taken so long to get nak/ed, unlike Peter. (Unless your wimpy boyfriend had secret gestation-affecting powers, you doubted he was the father.) Anyway, if you’d banged Harry then everyone would have just thought your kid took after Grandpa. 

If that wasn’t bad enough, the Green Goblin’s set his sights on you. Because he tried to abduct you after vaporizing those Oscorp members, it’s pretty obvious that he must have it out for Norman. 

Why else would you be a target? 

Imagine the Green Goblin tricking you into meeting up with him in a secluded area. You were fully expecting to hookup with Spider-Man, and your mind was preoccupied with what you’d do with him once you had him in your clutches.

“So I told him...” Norman tells you later, after you’ve been dragged to his penthouse, and after he went back out to taunt Spidey. “I told him ‘______ and I are going to have a hell of a time.’”

“Why would you do that after you’ve already put me through hell?”

“You haven’t felt anything yet, my dear.”

Note: Back on my nastiness.

Imagine the Green Goblin hitting you with sleeping gas and carrying you off instead of your partner Spider-Man. He admits you’ve caught his interest since your first fight. The villain was originally interested in partnering with your sticky friend, but then you swooped in.

Your kneejerk response is to tell him you’re not interested. Too bad you’re still incapacitated. It’s not so surprising when the Goblin lifts your mask up. It is a surprise when he tells you you’re pretty and proceeds to jerk 0ff on your face.

“His suit opens up at the cr0tch because of course it does!” you grumble, which just makes him cackle.

Imagine wanting to be Spider-Man’s partner in fighting crime but piquing the Green Goblin’s interest instead.

Spidey: *to JJJ* “Kiddo, let Mom and Dad talk for a while.”

Gobby: *points to you* “I’d like to make her a mom.”

Spidey: “______, how long were you following me??”

Gobby: “‘Spider-Man, Webbed inside a Love Triangle.’ How’s that for a headline?”

You: “Ugh, no.”